Medical Terminology for non-Doctors
> Anally -- occurring yearly
> Artery -- study of paintings
> Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
> Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
> Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
> Caesarian section -- district in Rome
> Cat scan -- searching for kitty
> Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
> Colic -- sheep dog
> Coma -- a punctuation mark
> Congenital -- friendly
> D&C -- where Washington is
> Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
> Dilate -- to live long
> Enema -- not a friend
> Fester -- quicker
> Fibula -- a small lie
> Genital -- non-Jewish
> G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
> Grippe -- suitcase
> Hangnail -- coathook
> Impotent -- distinguished, well known
> Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
> Labour pain -- got hurt at work
> Medical staff -- doctor's cane
> Morbid -- higher offer
> Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
> Node -- was aware of
> Outpatient -- person who had fainted
> Pap smear -- fatherhood test
> Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
> Post operative -- letter carrier
> Protein -- favoring young people
> Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
> Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
> Rheumatic -- amorous
> Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
> Secretion -- hiding anything
> Seizure -- Roman emperor
> Serology -- study of knighthood
> Tablet -- small tablet
> Terminal illness -- sickness at airport
> Tibia -- country in North Africa
> Tumor -- an extra pair
> Urine -- opposite of you're out
> Varicose -- located nearby
> Vein -- conceited
Sleeping
-Top 15 best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk
15. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
14. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the
last
time management course you sent me to."
13. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
12. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm!"
11. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
10. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"
9. "Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP)
I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
8. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related
stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"
7. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our
biggest problem."
6. "The coffee machine is broken...."
5. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the
workaholic!"
2. "Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:
1. "Amen"