Read this page very slowly and take frequent breaks, or you may suffer such overexposure symptoms as dizziness, drymouth, nausea, and in the worst case, your brain may try to escape out of your ear. If any of these symptoms occur, please contact a physician immediately, unless your brain crawls out your ear, in which case, I'm really sorry.
If you're a returning Bglowslieth speaker, use the navigation guide below to go to a specific rule.
Send your friends here (like Margaret!). For extra reference, you can go to Kathleen's Bglowslieth page
. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to E-mail the Fouydahs: Andhaw and eskanKathyne, or the Membahs of the Latowtguished Counciy of Bgyowsyieth Sbitcheaskankahs: Disuhan, Jahad, Margahat, or Sara bglowslieth. If you would like to be a Membah of the Latowtguished Counciy of Bgyowsyieth Sbitcheaskankahs, email Andhaw. On with the tutorial!
sYeays Ich: Voahbutractrl
sYeays Ni: Bitch & Skank
sYeays San: Lalala Distraction
sYeays Shi: Hahaha Reaction & Nonono Chechenya
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dAendumd Ich: Dy -> Drew
dAendumd Ni: Y -> L (formahyl Y -> K)
dAendumd San: Ho Chi Minh
dAendumd Shi: Margahat's Disw
dAendumd Go: Imbitchortant new !Ruye!!
dAendumd Rokku: Jabitchanese Numbahs
dAendumd Shichi: J's Rule
dAendumd Hachi: z -> tobed
dAendumd Ku: Some bitcheobitchle lahl me MAURICE
dAendumd Ju: Disuhay's Rule
The concept of bitch and skank is simple. If there is a P in a word, like pencil, replace the P with "bitch," making it bitchencil. If there is a K in a word,
replace it with "skank." Here are some examples.
Use it in sentences:
I skankicskank bitcheobitchle.
I must Taskanke a bath.
He's wearing bitchurbitchle bitchants.
If a sentence doesn't have any bitch or skanks in it, you must follow it by saying "bglowslieth"
The dog is white, bglowslieth.
Wow, a stobitch sign!
I must drive, bglowslieth.
One last thing, do not modify special words like pompanaa and such with the bitch skank method. These words are those listed on top of this page and at the bottom in review. If you use one of these words in a sentence, it does not
require a bglowslieth.
Fantastic, pompanaa!
His head hurts, gnark.
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La la la distraction is one of the most fundamental syntaxes of our language. Here is the basic principle:
This may seem confusion at first, but it's quite simple. If a word has a dis, tract, or ion syllable in it, you replace it with la, as you would a k with a skank.
When there is a "la" in a word, it becomes a little more complicated. Which syllable you put in place of "la" depends on where in the word the la is. If the la is in the beginning of the word, like in "Land," you replace it with "Dis", making it "Disnd." If the la falls in the middle, use tract, and at the end, ion.
If the syllables appear backwards in words (al, sid, tcart, noi) their replacement is backwards. alalal = sidtcartnoi, al = sid, al = tcart, al = noi.
Be careful of "ala" in words. It can be confusing. Here is the best way I can think of to explain it. Take the word "Salad." It has both an "al" and a "la" in it, but they overlap. You could treat it as salad (stcartad) or salad (satractd), but both of those are wrong. Consider the "ala" as an "al" and a "la" squished
together.
Salad = Sal + lad. Since the "ala" is in the middle of the word, we use the
middle syllable of distraction la = tract, al = tcart:
Since "L" overlaps "ala," "T" overlaps in "tcartract." If that confused the hell out of you, I'm sorry. Here are some more examples to confuse you further:
"Lal" uses the same principle. The only word I can think of that has this
formation is "molal," so forgive me those of you who are still recovering from AP chemistry.
This has gotten very confusing. I hope you understood it all.
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If you understood la la la distraction, you should have NO trouble with these two new additions:
Here are some examples:
When syllables of distraction, reaction, and chechenya overlap, as in the word chalk (ha and al), the syllable you replace will be determined by the following
order: 1. distraction, 2. reaction, 3. chechenya. In the above example, "chalk" becomes "chtcartskank" because lalala distraction is first on the list. Here are some more examples:
The exception to this rule is words including "tion". According to the rule above, "nation" would be "natla," but the correct translation is "naha." Since "ion" will always be inside "tion," reaction will take precedence in this situation (and this situation ONLY) and "tion" will be translated as "ha." The only time "tion" is not "ha" is in words like "traction" where the t is part of another syllable. Got all that?
Other cases when syllables contain other syllables are "tract" (contains "ac") and "ion" (contains "on"). But the distraction precedence rule absorbs both of these cases. "Tract" and "ion" will always be translated as "la" because they are a part of lalala distraction which takes precedence over all.
Don't forget about the case of the same syllable overlap. "Yay" is ya+ay, and is therefore translated as "non." Here are some more examples using reaction and chechenya:
To correct the erroneous idea that my name is Andy, a new syntax of
Bglowslieth has been developed.
If there is a "dy" in a word, it shall be changed to "drew." The "drew" in words such as these are exempt from hahaha reaction transformation.
After dy/drew replacement has taken place, the "re" in "drew" does not become "ha," i.e. "dye" becomes "drewe" and not "dhawe."
This rule is not reflexive. "Drew" does not change into "dy." In rare words which "drew" appears (the only one I can think of is "Andrew") it will follow normal Bglowslieth rules.
This rule is not to be worried about too much since "dy" and "drew" are rare syllables to find in words. "Dy" will normally appear at the end of words.
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In celebration of Y2K, a new syntax was adopted into the LAnguage, courtesy of Kathleen's mom. That rule was called Y to K. The Foundahs decided then that when 2001 came, the rule would change to Y to L. Since K+1=L, and 2001 is Y2K+1, we decided this was an appropriate rule. So, without further ado:
Any stray "y" in a word that is not subject to nonono chechenya or dy to drew transformation shall from now until the year 2002 become "l."
Since l has no previous significance by itself (unlike k which turns to skank), l's that are not followed or preceded by an a (which would make them la or al) turn back into a y.
ladle = disdye
literal = yitahnoi
Each year this rule will change. Next year will be Y to M, which will make life much easier because m has no other Bglowslieth conflicts. The ease will only last one year because N is involved in nonono chechenya and that becomes another big mess. But don't you worry your pretty little head about that now.
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During a game of Celebrities, in the two word round, the clue "ho ho" was given, to which Andhaw responded, "Chi Minh! Chi Minh!". That, of course, was the wrong answer (the answer was Santa Claus), but it gave way to yet another fun Bglowslieth rule!
Ho in a word will become Chiminh. Oh will become hnimihc.
Of course, a rule just isn't a rule unless it has exceptions. If the ho (or oh) shares its h with ah (or ha) or its o with on (or no) then it yields to the other syllable, as any good new rule does.
This is a very complex rule, so please bear with it. The awesome and talented Margaret (Margahat), whom I've never actually met (except in a chat room) came up with the idea that we can split double letters and move them to each end of the word. For example, cool becomes oclo. Here are some more examples:
Now take a while to think about those. This rule can be confusing in conjunction with the other rules. The easiest way is to take it step by step.
Remember, bitch and skank are letters too, and this new rule applies to them.
As you can see, there is no Bglowslieth convention for capitalization, so do what you like.
Yes, we have gone too far, and this rule isn't over yet! In the case of multiple double letters, the one closest to the front of the word goes on the outside, and then the second closest, and so on. The easiest way to do this one is to take out the double letters, arrange them in order, and see what letters are left. Observe:
Still with us? If you are, I'm impressed, but you are probably a little dizzy. Perhaps you should take a nap before forging ahead. Next we remind you that overlapping rules are a problem, especially here, because we've made an exception to the exception! Aren't you excited? First remember that prior rules have sovereignty. This includes lalala distraction, hahaha reaction, nonono chechenya, dy and drew, and Ho Chi Minh. Bitch, Skank, and Y2K don't interfere here, because those rules affect only single letters. Be careful of cases such as the following:
Words with double Ls are tricky. There is always the temptation to change them to Ys and then separate them. Don't do it! Or at least think before you do it! Here are some just so you can look at them.
In that Challah example, even though noit doesn't end up at the end, the ah is at the end in the original word, so it still translates to noit.
If both ways of translating something change the same amount of letters, use the one that uses the oldest rules. Lay can be translated as "yon" (l+ay) or "disl" (la+y). The correct translation is "disl" because lalala distraction comes before nonono chechenya.
In short, whenever there are multiple ways to change a word, try them both and use the one that changes the most letters.
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dAendumd Rokku: Jabitchanese Numbahs
These are the actual words for the numbers in Japanese (ich is really ichi, but we say ich, and it's a more common occurrence in English words than ichi). Any of these numbers found in words will turn into their corresponding word (one, two, three, four...) or numeral (1,2,3,4...) and found backwards will become the spelling of the number backwards (eno, owt, eerht, ruof...). Now, some of these will occur less than others (some won't even occur at all), like ihc, ihs, and any permutation of rokku, shichi, and hachi. So don't worry your pretty little head.
The rule reverses as well, but this is usually just going to result in ordinary translation to Japanese. Only on very rare occasions will you have the opportunity to use syllables like "ukkor." Also, "one," formerly translated as "ehc," will now follow this new rule (which changes more letters) and become "ich." Three, which used to be "thhae," is now "san." "Nine" is "ku" and not "twowte" (don't be silly). And if you're advanced enough such that you know the Japanese numbers past ten, feel free to incorporate them into your Bglowslieth vocabulary. Here are some examples of English numbers in words.
In honor of Kathleen and Margaret's professor at Northeastern, a person who took such an interest in Bglowslieth that he created Bglowslieth translating software, Kathleen proposed the following rule:
Once upon a time, I suppose I was complaining to Margaret about being tired, and I was bombarding her with Z's: ZZzZzzZZzZZZzZzZzzzZZZzzzzz. So she told me, "So go Z."
I guess Kathleen and I were discussing Maurice Ravel, and she related him to the Steve Miller Band song containing the line "SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE!" To which I replied "MWEEER MWEEER!"
And somehow this came about:
On September 7th, 2003, Disuhay pointed out that Chantal Kreviazuk's last name is almost the perfect Bglowslieth word. Every single part of it changes except for the "via" in the middle:
The end.
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For a slightly different and more historical perspective on Bglowslieth, go to Kathleen's Bglowslieth page.
Click here to go back to my home page which is in shambles or click here to go to the Quotebook Online which I update more frequently than I eat chocolate chip pound cake.