January '01

Quote of the Month:
"Always drive as though there's a turtle in your back seat." -- Eric Berman (Andrew's Dad), 1/13

1/1

Early morning at Ben's House

"Can you two please stop saying 'rape?'" -- Justin Paluska
"I need rape!" -- Hoter, frighteningly in her sleep, (much like her quote on 6/2/00)
"You're like a pornographic zombie!" -- Tompy, about Hoter
"It's like being soda." -- Kathleen, and I'll leave the explanation to her.
"That's not breathing, it's backdraft! It's the jet stream!" -- Tompy, about the sleeping Hoter.
"Rawr chica rawr rawr!" -- Tompy


Sara's Car

"Why do people name streets after plagues?" -- Andrew, about Locust Lane.


Online

"You two can go out to lunch together!" -- Kathleen (see Stephanie's quote on 1/2/00)
"People don't need to say why they're going to be right back, unless it's something really great, like, 'Ed McMahon's at the door with a giant check,' or 'There's a meteor heading towards my house.'" -- Alyssa


on the phone

"If you couldn't see us flirting, you were blind. You could probably even SMELL us flirting!" -- Katie

FUMP = Fucked Up My Plans
i.e. "And then the snow fell, and FUMP."

1/3

Online

"Why is the world acting like a round pile of crap?" -- Kathleen


Sue's Car

"What? I have a gazebo on my face? I was not aware of that." -- Suzanne, confusing the words "pagoda" and "bigotes," which means moustache in Spanish.

1/5

My Grandmother's House, Florida

"It's tough being a white chair." -- Grandma Yetta
"What's the matter with Stacy? Stacy's a good name!" -- Uncle Marvin, after being corrected about Tracee's name.

1/6

More Florida with the grandparents

Paul: Why am I being searched?
Alli: Because the name of the song is "Sabotage!"

"Are you giving her grounds for divorce?" -- Aunt Florence

For explanation of the above two, email me.

1/9

Skrrr in all her glory

"I decided that in order to not fail out of school, I need to think that biochemistry is more interesting than sex. And guess what ... IT'S NOT!" -- Jen
"L? I need to have my breasts felt. R?" -- Jen, playing Hangman "I was feeding the people in the house that meow the most." -- Jen
"I want my breasts! nitenite." -- Jen

1/10

Email

"Ferrets are illegal in California, so now they are our cats." -- Trish

1/11

Jennelle's Driveway

"I feel a sweater coming on!" -- Sara
"I must save this piece of information and spread it around the world!" -- Sara
"It makes me feel old and saintly." -- Jennelle, that girls all around her are getting knocked up.

1/12

online

"Alex prepared a section by the knees of my pants that she could grab when the songs were extra rapable." -- Ben

1/13

First Class Bagels, Elwood

"Always drive as though there's a turtle in your back seat." -- Andrew's Dad


Club Windstar, somewhere between Flushing and Syracuse

Andrew: What are they, having a conversation?
Matt: They're like, "What's a Chevy like you doing on a road like this?"
(about two cars riding along side each other)

"If you see camels walking in the snow, they're probably walking towards Jesus." -- Matt


Online

"Shrinkydink hostage is no laughing matter." -- Amanda from Rochester

Andrew: We'll see.
Amanda: That's what my dad says when he means no.

1/14

Housity House House

"Smiley face: DON'T TOUCH!" -- Betsy, about putting smiley face stickers on food that we don't want other people to eat.
"Milk: the beer of champions." -- Andrew, drinking milk out of a beer stein.


Online

Andrew: It's also a shame that I'm me.
Katie: No it's not, silly.
Andrew: Because I also have many good qualities, but I can't date ME!

1/15

Online

"Imagine what we could plug in with the stuff I could shit out!" -- Matt
"Even though I may only sleep until one, I don't suddenly appear fully clothed on your doorstep with a pizza when my eyes open." -- Alyssa

1/16

Sign Language

"If you're left-handed, sign with your left hand. If you're right-handed, sign with your right hand. If you're ambidextrous, you have three weeks to make up your mind." -- Joe from ASL
"This is the sign for lollipop and this is the sign for blowjob. Don't get them confused." -- Miriam


Online

Ben: That's the same place though, right?
Andrew: Yup.
Ben: OK, good. Otherwise I might have needed directions. Mark your calendar.

1/17

Cricket's House (but not for long)

"I want to stuff her into a little box ... because she's big ... and it would hurt. I want to stuff her into a little box." -- Cricket, about her advisor.


Online

"You can have anything of mine, after all, you've already stolen my heart. Oh wait, I'm gay. Nevermind then." -- Andrew, to Katie

1/18

Walking to Eggers

"You're supposed to be deaf, not blind!" -- Lisa, after I walked right into a garbage can while signing to her.


Crouse

"Oh, I need men for that one too! Stupid men." -- Kelly, about songs to arrange for a capella


Kimmel

"Bad brothers bad brothers. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they drink with you?" -- Smatt


Online

"Most of my gay friends ... are flaming gay, like, if you don't know you're blind AND deaf." -- Hope

1/19

MY house

Betsy: It's like a virus. The peanut butter's spreading! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mike: Do you hear yourself? Do you hear yourself? You're becoming your dad!


Online

"Where does Kelly weird?" -- Hope, trying to read and type at the same time.


Kimmel

"I love emails from the Pride Union listserv. They almost always end in 'fabulous.'" -- Andrew

1/20

The mall

"Even if I don't wear it. Even if I just take it out of the closet and pet it every once in a while..." -- Sara
"I wish I could trade my computer for clothes every time I came to the mall." -- Sara


Online

"Blue is a good 'Oh look it's Andrew' color. Red is a good 'Damn that Andrew is sexy' color." -- Andrew

1/21

Phi Sigma Pi meeting (during announcements, where the code of secrecy does not apply)

Nicole: the media has been feeding you lies about Britney Spears.
Kristina: Oh no!

1/22

Music of China

"Long river is still river." -- Liu
"If you are tall, you are long." -- Liu

1/24

Pride Union

"We all know Dr. Claw was a fag!" -- Tom

1/25

Convo Auction

"This is truly a marvel of digital technology. Do I hear ten cents?" -- Dr. Waggoner, about a metronome

1/26

Aladdin's

"[He] should be Wayne Knight. They're both dating people that aren't human." -- Adam, assigning actors to portray our friends.


Online

"I came back from my shower to the wonderful sight of two women fucking with all of their shit on my bed. ...I giggled and checked my email." -- Jen Skrrr

1/27

The House of Happiness

"My Es are not for the flicking!" -- Adam, during Scrabble

1/30

Online

"You're my excitement-to-go guy." -- Dan Cocaine Bennett, getting his excitement to go.

1/31

The abode of Hannah Bee and JenGa

"A woman without a fish is like a man without a bicycle." -- Andrew, oops.

Jen: I just want you to know that I'm skipping sex class for you.
Andrew: Sex class? Is there a lab?


Online

"Sleeping has become a bit of a luxury, fit to be thrown in whenever I get tired of IM and homework." -- Dan Be

Andrew: I can't go.
Carl: All right. Guess I'll have to find someone cooler and more handsome.
Andrew: Good luck.

"Scholarship. I have one leg." -- Jen
"I wasn't sure whether to laugh cry or puke when I read that." -- Jen