5/2 - Andrew's Room

"Andrew, put pants on." - Alyssa

5/4 - King K Day barbeque, Crouse Auditorium playing Scrabble

"I'm having a sex change, so I won't be in to work today." - Kaitlin
"Ga!" - Andrew, Mike, Betsy McCarter, and Bob Lee
"Semen later!" - Mike
"Look, my knee is happy, now it's sad . . . happy . . . sad." - Betsy

5/5 - Music Office

"Erin in a box!  Amaze your friends!  Be the first one on your block to own Erin in a box!" - Aaron Bittel
"Mike!  Mike!  Give us money!" - Betsy
"Swirly cup, swirly cup, what are they feeding you?" - Andrew (to the tune of "Smelly Cat")

5/6 - Miscellaneous

"I win 'cause I spelled 'pung!'" - Amanda
"Can I steal you?" - Cricket (to a car)
"Anything's funny when it's in your pants!" - Betsy
"You're a window!" - Kaitlin (See 12/31/98)

5/7 - Music Office, Aladdin's Mediterranean Restaurant, and Day 5 Lounge

"I'm not a problem today." - Bryanna
"Why isn't it done yet?" - Jessica Kuhlman (about the puzzle she was doing)
"Well, maybe Josh isn't as comfortable with his bullshit as I am with mine." - Mike
"I;m feeling vaklempt, talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic: Schoenberg's Pierrot Lunaire was neither tonal nor atonal (but it's gahbage), discuss." - Priyantha
"His eyes, they were the size of, like, really big eyes!" - Andrew
"I don't beat you up, don't I get presents?" - Alyssa
"Is bad luck proportional to the size of the umbrella?" - Cricket

5/11 - Online, Sara's house playing Scrabble

"What juries are today?  Oh yes, string and blowing instruments." - Liu (submitted by Adam J. Davidowitz, and Jessica Kielb who was told by Josh Goldstein)
"Now that's a consonant if I ever saw one." - Sara
"Not only are you killing me, you're dancing on my grave!" - Sara
"Hello Q!  I've been waiting for you!" - Andrew (with an evil tone)

5/12 - Loew's Theater, The Mummy

"You're probably wondering what a place like me is doing in a girl like this." - drunk woman in the Mummy.
"Hi, my name is Brendan Fraser and I am random." - Erika

5/14 - Northport High School, Erika's house, deciding where to eat

Let's see if we can look like a catalog!" - Kathleen (sarcasm directed at trendy teenagers)
"Oh Matt, the high authority on pizza!  I should have known!" - Sara
"Go bite an ocean!" - Kathleen (response to Adam's craving for sushi)
"'Why didn't you go to Brandeis?' 'Why don't you go to hell?'" - Erika

5/16 - Sara's House

"I didn't know there was other meat that could be briskified." - Sara

5/19 - Erika's House, and online

"I'd probably die if she killed me." - Erika
"Don't worry about it, put on this sweater." - Erika & Stephanie (about an Eddie Bauer ad)
"LUK, I am your mother." - Joan Lukachinski

5/20 - Andrew's House

"The good thing about French people is that they tend to stay in France." - Eric Berman (Andrew's dad)
"America causes cancer." - Bill Maher
"Do you have a copy of your resume?  Thank you, I'll eat it later." - Jellybean (a guest snail on the Dick Van Dyke Show)

5/21 - Lauren's House

"Alex is sweet and heavenly." - Michelle
bonafide = becomes fossilized (bonified)
"Wait, polyploidy is when you have large strawberries growing inside you?" - Andrew
"Remind me never to give birth to a zebra." - Michelle

5/25 - Sue's Car, Erika's Car, Billiard Emporium, Sara's House playing Scrabble

Shania Twain: But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.
Sue: Get a blanket!
"She didn't fill the tank, that skank!" - Erika
Erika: Call the pocket, boy!
Andrew: Pocketboy!
"Q, we meet again." - Sara

5/28 - Andrew's House, stories

"Now Mary, there's no need for Pomp and Circumstance." - Sue

"Well, now back to horseradish.  Thank's mustard!" -- Andrew