Infinity and Hell

(Or: Christians, are you sure you are going to heaven?)

The Weather in Hell

"Enjoy rotting in hell." - Laura - USA, in an email to me.

As an Atheist, should Christianity's loving message be true,  I can look forward to an eternity of divinely sanctioned, mind-shattering pain in Hell. But what is an eternity, what is infinity?

I'll have a go at describing an eternity. Let's consider the infinity of time during which I (and the majority of people who have ever existed) will be brutally tortured:

Imagine a giant egg timer, you know, one of those old-fashioned hourglass things with fine-grained sand in them. Let's consider this egg timer to be the size of oooh, the Earth. Next, imagine that the whole universe is filled, side by side, on top of each other, with tens of hundreds of thousands of millions of billions of trillions of giant egg timers. There is nothing but egg timers. Now fill the top half of all the earth-sized egg timers with sand, up-end and let one grain of sand go through the gap once every thousand years in egg timer number one. Eventually the sand will run through, it will take many billions of years, but the sand will eventually get through. Now repeat the process for each egg timer in the universe one after the other.

When the last egg timer in the universe has done it's stuff go back to egg timer number one and start over again, repeating the whole process for all the egg timers in the universe a billion times. Then repeat all of the above a billion times.

Are we any nearer to the end of an eternity? Is the end of infinity approaching? Nope, we have not scratched the surface. We have not even made the least, microscopic dent in infinite time. The torture is only just beginning, the torment has hardly started, the agony hasn't really got going yet.

The one, unique concept brought to humanity in the Christian New Testament is the heaven/hell dichotomy. It's nothing more than a nasty little threat. Many Christians, via email, have threatened this writer with their lovingly crafted messages of eternal hell-fire torment. In reality, how nasty is their message? How cruel is their threat? How ignorant are their beliefs? How corrupt is their faith? How cynical is their religion?

I'll tell you:

 

INFINITELY

 

Still, according to the Bible it's not only unbelievers who get to spend the rest of time on the infinite subterranean BBQ:

 

"But anyone who says 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."

(Jesus speaking) Matthew 5:22

 

"O foolish people" (Moses speaking) Deuteronomy 32:06

"the princes of Zoan are fools" (Isaiah speaking) Isaiah 19:11

"ye fools" (David singing) Psalms 94:08

"O foolish people" (Jeremiah speaking) Jeremiah 5:21

"And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man"(Jesus speaking) Matthew 7:26

"You fools!" (Jesus speaking) Luke 11:40

"But God said to him, 'You fool!' " (Jesus quoting god) Luke 12:20

"How foolish you are" (Jesus) Luke 24:25

"You blind fools!" (Jesus) Matthew 23:17

"You blind fools!" (Jesus) Matthew 23:19

"We are fools for Christ's sake" (Paul writing) 1 Corinthians 4:10

"Thou fool" (Paul) 1 Corinthians 15:36

"O foolish Galatians" (Paul) Galatians 3:1

 

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