Hubert's Page O' Prayer

(Or: Pull up a pew, waggle your hassock, and send some messages out of the top of your head.)

Devoted disciples of Hubert the Invisible Dancing Beaver Deity will be pleased to see, published for the first time, genuine prayers sent down from Beaver Heaven on High. The prayers that follow were dictated directly by Hubert himself to a convent chock-full of Purple Beaver Nuns in the town of Toothpaste, West Virginia. Then sent to me using the power of prayer and an e-mail. Rest awhile, chant the following prayers, and see what happens when you send your invisible messages to Our Lord Hubert in Beaver Heaven. Novice nun of the Purple Beaver Crystal has written a beautiful 'Paragraph O' Praise', which is printed below the prayers.

The convent of the Purple Beaver, Toothpaste, West Virginia.

I thank thee that the true and all mighty word of the Beaver is here for all to see. Lord I thank thee for the gifts thou hast given me. Praise be to the Holy Beaver. Before I knew the true powers of the Beaver, oh Lord, my soul was lost...my life without meaning or direction. But now, oh Holy Beaver, I thank thee for showing me the true path, the enlightened path, the path of the very Holy and just Beaver. I praise the Beaver every morning when I wake, every evening before I sleep and during every waking moment of my days. The Beaver has given so much to me and I thank the Beaver for it's many blessings. Blessed be the Beaver, giver of life and all things Holy.

Signed

Novice nun of the Purple Beaver. Poot! Oops. Sorry.

Novice Nun Crystal contemplates Hubert - her new Messiah.

Hubert contemplates the nature of existence, and new air-conditioning and waterbeds for the convent. Meanwhile, Novice Nun Crystal drys her nail varnish.

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© Copyright 2001 Martin J Burn - The English Atheist

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