TELL YOUR CHILDREN THE VALUES THEY NEED TO KNOW
Nearly everything a child hears, sees, and does is stored - at
least subconsciously - to be used later in the maturation
process. But not all truth can be - or should be - communicated
non-verbally. There comes a time when every parent needs to say
the words.
What to tell your child: (You may want to create your own truths
that you want to speak to your children, or use these.)
- Being in love is not love. Love is not just a feeling or even
a state of being. It is not infatuation, or lust. It's an act
of the will. It's something you do. Real loves says, "I
choose to put you ahead of me." Look to God for an example of
love. God's love is perfect. It is not infatuation. He
doesn't have a crush on us. He chooses to love us,
unconditionally, for our good.
- Never quit. There are many times when you will want to quit.
If you no longer like the sport or class you signed up for,
or you grow weary of a game or a chore, but stick with it,
your reward is an inner strength, a knowledge that you could
- and did - endure, and finish.
- Life isn't fair. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.
Nice people suffer and bad people prosper. Life isn't fair,
but that does not mean that God isn't fair. By His very
nature He is right - even when He appears to be wrong from
our viewpoint. Our salvation isn't fair - we certainly don't
deserve it, yet it awaits us. You can be fair and remember
that two wrongs never make a right.
- Take responsibility for your own actions. Passing the blame
does nothing to solve a problem; it only adds a layer to it.
If you're asked to do something, take responsibility. See
that it gets done. People don't want excuses, they want
performance. And when something does go wrong, even if it's
not your fault, express sorrow for the inconvenience, and
make it right.
- Work before you play, but play. It always pays off. When you
put off the tough stuff to enjoy the moment, you'll find that
the play time isn't as much fun because you will have the
dreaded chore at the back of your mind. Doing chores is not
so bad when you can look forward to some fun. This same
concept works with money: save and plan. Delay gratification.
In fact, sometimes the anticipation is better than the
payoff.
- Cultivate a best friend. Best friendships are between people
who can be honest with each other, laugh at each other's
faults, and not try to change one another. Best friends are
loyal. They care. They can keep confidences. Best friends can
argue and disagree and raise their voices at each other
without worrying about the future of the relationship. They
are roots. You can speak to them in shorthand - with both of
you knowing what a situation or statement implies. Do all
that you can to be a good friend, and seek ways to keep
friendships alive through the years and across the miles.
Jerry Jenkins, writer in residence at the Moody Bible
Institute of Chicago, is former vice president for
publishing at MBI. His column, "For Starters,"
appears regularly in Moody magazine. He is the author
of more than 90 works of biography and fiction for
al1 ages, as well as books on marriage and the
family. Jerry and his wife, Dianna, live with their
three sons in Zion, Ill.
From Twelve Things I Want My Kids To Remember Forever
by Jerry B. Jenkins, copyright (c) 1991. Used by
permission of Moody Press, Chicago, Ill.
© 1997 vinebranch@hotmail.com
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