CHOOSE TO HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE
Have you found your marriage relationship slipping? Often it is
because of choices that you've made along the way that determine
where you are today.
Marriage choices you can make:
- For better, for worse. The person you married six, 10, or 20
years ago is not the same person you are married to today.
It's a good thing, too, because a life that isn't changing
and growing is not the kind of person you want to spend a
lifetime with. Often it's hard to overlook the physical
changes that occur over the years - the lovehandles that
aren't lovely and the receding hairlines. Temper the better
with the worse. What are some "worse" things that your spouse
has endured from you? How can you stop "enduring" and start
loving the person whose changes may not be what they had in
mind either?
- To speak or not to speak. Good communication is a necessity
and a rarity in most marriages. Our days are so filled with
talk - the radio, TV, memos, magazines, and newspapers. What
is missing is face-to-face talk with spouses. Couples need to
preserve time in their day to really talk and really listen.
It won't happen naturally. Communication skills must be
desired and cultivated - in both spouses - in order to bring
you closer.
- Making your house a home. The benefits of a loving home, a
haven from the pressures of the world, and a place of comfort
is what most families are looking for. When one person is
overly burdened with the task, there is a lack of joy for the
whole family. Couples need to figure out ways to partner in
the care and daily routines of a home. When all members of
the family share in the care of the home, there is a spirit
of togetherness as well as a more smoothly run home.
- Marrying the whole family. Like it or not, when you marry you
also marry your spouse's family. Realize that many of the
qualities that you love in your spouse come from the parents,
and that for 20 years or so before you came on the scene your
in-laws had the greatest influence on your spouse. The Bible
is clear about leaving parents when you marry. Do you seek to
have a meaningful loving relationship with your parents and
in-laws? Do you find ways for your spouse to maintain a
relationship with his/her parents?
- Live in love. The love you felt during the courtship days may
change in style, but doesn't have to change in substance.
Loving another person is a decision not based on
circumstances, but on relationship. A loving outlook on life
can shape all your dealings for the better. What emotion
monopolizes your marriage? Has anger or frustration replaced
delight and love?
- Till death do us part. Divorce is not God-ordained. Wanting
out of a marriage needs to be seen as an ominous warning to
make changes fast in your marriage, not as the beginning of a
separation or divorce. Instead of thinking about getting out,
determine what must be put in to a marriage to make it last.
Don't overlook Christian counseling and books, marriage
weekends, and the support of friends to help you and your
spouse re-commit to your marriage relationship.
Len Woods is pastor to small groups at Christ
Community Church in Ruston, La. He is the Gold
Medallion Award-winning author of I'm Outta Here!
Facing the Tough Choices After High School and a
contributor to Nelson's Complete Study Bible and The
Life Application Bible for Students. Len, his wife
Cindi, and their sons live in Ruston.
From Tough Choices by Len Woods, copyright (c) 1998.
Used by permission of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.,
Sisters, Ore.
© 1997 vinebranch@hotmail.com
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