HELP YOUR TEENS AVOID THE SEX TRAP
There is incredible pressure on teen-agers today to experience
sex at an earlier and earlier age. A significant study reveals
that each year the average American teen-ager hears almost 15,000
sexual jokes, innuendoes, and other sexually suggestive
references on TV. Of these, fewer than 170 present a message
supporting responsible sexual behavior. (Victor C. Strausburger,
"Turning in to Teenagers," Newsweek, May 19, 1997, p. 18)
It is never too early - or too late - to start preparing your
child to resist the Sex Trap.
Parents' Convictions:
- Our children need to learn a godly perspective about sex
primarily from us. Why would you want your child to learn
about this sacred aspect of marital love from anyone else?
Talking about sex may be the single most powerful way parents
have of entering into the lives of their children. It also
can be the most difficult. When you do talk to your child,
you are saying You are important enough to me that I will
risk talking about this uncomfortable topic. It may open the
door to other intimate discussions with your child.
- Sex education consists of more than an explanation of human
reproduction. Of course your children need to know the
biological basics, but you need to finish the process with
moral training. Discuss God's purpose for sex, the importance
of sex and marriage, and why you should wait for marriage
before you have sex. Include how to avoid situations in which
you are tempted, how the media shape our thoughts in this
area, the types of movies and books you should see and avoid
- and why, and how, to respond when someone challenges your
convictions.
- We must teach Biblical standards of purity and innocence.
Challenging your child with the goal of virginity until
marriage may not be a high enough goal. Nor is it the
ultimate Biblical goal. Scripture does not command us to
preserve a technical virginity but to strive for purity and
innocence (Read: 1 Thess. 4:3-7, 1 Cor. 6:18-20, and 2 Tim.
2:22).
- We will model what we want our children to live. It all
begins with parents. He/she needs to see a commitment to
purity in your life. Make sure that you are not involved in
sexual sin, sexual addiction, or an affair. If any of these
are on-going in your life, and you have not repented, your
sin is not just personal; it will have an impact on your
children, your grandchildren, and beyond. Trash the videos.
Burn the literature. Put some screening software on your
computer. Stop going to suggestive movies. Break off a
relationship with the opposite sex. You will not be able to
instruct your child to keep out of the traps if you are not
staying out of them yourself.
- We need to create a home environment that provides love,
security, and physical affection for our children.
Spiritually, many teens do not have an accurate understanding
or a clear picture of who they are in Christ. They do not
have a healthy sense of who they are as a boy or a girl
becoming a man or a woman. Their self-doubt often leads them
to use sex to meet their identity needs. Your home needs to
be an oasis where your child learns about trusting Christ and
a place where he/she goes for love and affection. Don't stop
lavishing your child with physical affection: he/she needs
those hugs and kisses more than ever.
Dennis and Barbara Rainey have co-authored The New
Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem and Moments Together
for Couples. Dennis, a graduate of Dallas Theological
Seminary, co-founded Family Life Ministry. He is the
author of Staying Close, The Tribute and the Promise,
and One Home at a Time. He is also senior editor of
HomeBuilders Couples Series, which has sold nearly 1
million copies. He co-hosts FamilyLife Today radio
program. Barbara, a graduate of the University of
Arkansas, has served on the staff of Campus Crusade
for Christ for 26 years. They have six children and
live in Little Rock, Ark.
From Parenting Today's Adolescent by Dennis and
Barbara Rainey, copyright (c) 1998. Used by
permission of Word Publishing, Nashville, Tenn.,
1-800-933-9673. All rights reserved.
© 1997 vinebranch@hotmail.com
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