Share your faith with your child

How can parents nurture the moral and spiritual growth of their children? The answer: start by modeling your own moral and spiritual life.

Transmitting faith and values from one generation to another is a continuous process that needs to be taken seriously by all parents.

Parents can take these steps:

Acknowledge that much of parenting depends on grace. God is as interested in raising your children as you are. He wants to be personally involved.

Acknowledge that faith does not come in a vacuum. The family is the first introduction a child has to faith. Define that faith for yourselves. Know what you believe and why. Read the Bible, and let your child see you praying.

Don't confuse faith and religion. Religion can be taught, faith is lived. Faith is a daily meeting with God which makes a difference in how you live, act and speak.

Get on your knees. Not to pray but to see how the world looks to a small child. Then you can sympathize with the youngster's fears, confusion, and vulnerability.

Get on your knees, this time to pray for your child. Do this daily. Pray for your child, and with your child.

Don't worry if your child's development does not "match the chart." Each child is an individual and must grow up in his or her own way. Realize that faith and age do not progress evenly. Even a young child may have wonderful insights into a relationship with God.

Nourish your child's self-esteem. Criticism, put-downs, and making fun of your child undermines confidence. Respect your child's feelings and rights. Love your child as God loves your child...without reservation.

Empathize with your child. It's not easy being a child and they need all the understanding and guidance they can get.

Be aware that your child is learning morality and faith from you. He or she watches you in intense situations - and learns. If you've made a mistake, share your feelings with the youngster. Apologize when appropriate. Check your language. What is your child hearing - directly or behind thin walls? Teaching your child to say "I'm sorry" may be one of the greatest gifts you can give him or her.

Define your own values. Look for Biblical references that apply to your moral problems and dilemmas. Let your children see that you struggle over decisions, but always try to do the right thing.

Allow your child to make age-appropriate decisions. At age 2 1/2 the child may be ready to choose between two items. "Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the yellow one?" Don't allow children to make choices that you will not be comfortable with. Don't confuse the young child with too many choices.

Help the developing child in expanded decision-making. Parents need to say, "I hear what you are saying. What can you do about it?" Then discuss the consequences of various options, always stressing the moral issue.

Point out that decisions based on the principles of Jesus do not focus on "What's in it for me?" Decisions should be made on what is right.

Don't be disturbed when the child's decision isn't exactly like yours. Let them develop in this area, taking responsibility for their decision and its consequence.

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