NO LONGER A VICTIM


Domestic violence must stop

A million women seek medical treatment for domestic violence each year - and millions more do not. Battering is the single major cause of injury to women, even more significant than the number injured in car accidents, rapes, and muggings combined. Not only that, but nearly half of all female murder victims in this country are killed by a husband or boyfriend. Sadly, in more than one-third of families where spousal abuse occurs, child abuse is also present.

Domestic violence can be sexual (in the form of spousal rape) and psychological (efforts to make a person powerless by controlling her thinking and/or behavior), as well as physical.

  1. The two most important things you can do are to (1) recognize it early and (2) put a stop to it immediately.

  2. Start by assuming that if you think you're being abused, you probably are. Make an honest assessment of your circumstances.

  3. Watch for warning signs:

  4. Have you been struck physically? Has it happened more than twice?

  5. Is your partner extremely jealous, perhaps attempting to control your life, your activities, or your contact with friends and family?

  6. Have you been threatened if you tell anyone?

  7. Have you been forced into any sexual activity you didn't want?

  8. Are others in danger (e.g. children, family)?

  9. How violent is your partner? Is he rational? Has he hurt others in the past? Does your partner use alcohol or other drugs to excess?

  10. Consider your options:

  11. You can try to continue putting up with it (not recommended).

  12. You can try to fight back (not recommended).

  13. You can report him to the police (a good idea).

  14. You can walk out (another good idea).

  15. Identify your resources:

  16. Your own strength.

  17. Family members or friends who are available to help.

  18. A local women's shelter or other safe house.

  19. Law enforcement agencies.

  20. Act now. Don't assume "things will get better."

  21. Consider assertive action:

  22. At the earliest sign: confront and set limits.

  23. In case of violent attack: seek professional intervention. Get out if necessary. Note: many authorities recommend getting out of a physically abusive situation at the very first incidence. Certainly if your health and safety are in danger, this is a wise choice. Each circumstance is unique. It is possible that counseling may improve the situation; however, staying in an abusive relationship could be dangerous - and even fatal.

  24. In case of repeat attack: get out now.

  25. Consider carefully the consequences of any action plan:

  26. Have you thought carefully about the pros and cons of your plan?

  27. Have you consulted an attorney, law enforcement official, or protective services agency regarding your options and rights?

  28. Have you figured out where you can be safe?

  29. Can you leave secretly, without being found?

  30. Will you inform anyone of your plan?

  31. Will anyone else be in danger (e.g. your children)?

  32. Are you willing to press charges and face him in court?