YOU CAN BEAT THE HOME ALONE SYNDROME

Being alone, in this case, is defined as spending most or all of the day apart from others with whom you can talk on your level. Also contributing to the Home Alone Syndrome is a feeling of isolation, a lack of structure to your day, and the perceived loss of identity.

What you can do to combat the blues:

• Get in a routine. Get up at the same time every day, schedule time to read, eat lunch, do errands, etc. Stick to your timetable.

• Fix yourself up. Take a shower, fix your hair, put on decent clothes. Take pride in your appearance, even if you are the only person who's going to see you.

• Get out every day. Take a walk, or go on errands. Make it a point to have contact with others, no matter how brief.

• Give yourself something to look forward to. It may be an event coming up in the next two weeks, the time to read another chapter in an engrossing book, or a much-desired long tub soak.

• Invite someone over for coffee. Or take some cookies to another at-home person.

• Enlist the support of others. Just because you are home does not mean that you have to do it all. You don't have to be the only mom or dad who drives the neighborhood kids to events, and you don't have to do all the chores that are needed around the house. It is only reasonable that you ask others to help.

• Ask for recognition. Don't let your family take you for granted. If they are short on praise, tell them that you need reinforcement for what you are doing.

• Join a group that meets regularly. Sign up for a class, join a civic organization, or enroll in a Bible study that meets regularly. Make attendance a priority no matter how you feel at the moment.

• Make a daily "To Do" list. Write down all the things you hope to accomplish in a day. Include even seemingly inconsequential items such as getting dressed, bathing the baby, calling the plumber, weeding the garden, or doing a load of laundry. Include some pleasurable items on your list as well. Don't underestimate the value - and time - in completing routine chores. At the end of the day you will have tangible proof of how productive you really are.

• Set your own standards. List your goals and review them every few weeks. Maybe you've decided to limit your daytime TV to an hour a day, intended to do something special with your child every day, or planned to invite someone over for lunch each week. Start being accountable to yourself.

• Define "what you do." Prepare an answer that reflects your true feelings when others ask "What do you do?" "I stay home with the kids," or "I am looking for a job." Don't let others' expectations determine your mood or decision to be at home.