HOW TO BUILD GOOD HABITS

In order to have a habit, you need to be able to perform the skills involved at each step. The first step in building some habits, therefore, is learning the component skills. With cooking, it may be first learning to poach salmon or cream butter and sugar.

How to develop good habits:

• Find models and teachers. You learn most by watching and interacting with others. Observe those you admire, and ask them questions, if possible. Take advantage of the myriad of books on any given skill or behavior and read the finer points of what you want to do.

• Take small steps. Begin your desire to acquire good habits by starting small. For instance, if you want to become a runner, it would be unwise and unrealistic to begin your exercise program by running five miles on Monday morning. Instead, small steps may include a medical exam, buying new shoes, finding a partner, reading a book on running, strengthening your muscles, and start walking.

• Persist. If you keep faithfully busy, the final result will happen in time. Be patient about your progress on a day-to-day basis. Slow, gradual progress, brought on by regular attention and effort, is more likely to stay with you than a sudden burst of effort that can just as suddenly fade away.

• Be mindful. You need to consider carefully every step taken, study the details, and think about where everything is headed. Your behaviors need to be pieced into a bigger picture, framed by your goals and values. You may make minor adjustments to your running program, but if running in the morning takes you away from seeing your spouse and kids every day, you might want to consider pursuing another method of exercise.

• Stay motivated by maintaining perspective. You will have slips and relapses to your old behaviors. Recall the reasons you wanted to change and where you ultimately want to be. Don't let one slip-up take your eyes from your goal.

• Make a pledge. It may be helpful to announce your attempted change to others, but it usually works best if you are attempting to develop a socially approved behavior rather than overcoming a socially disapproved behavior. (Learning to dance is far more accepted by the hearer than announcing you want to quit drinking.) Some pledges are best made to yourself.