LISTENING


The creative art

Usually, when we think of communication we think of talking, or perhaps writing. But listening may be the most important part of communication. A recent study found that 45% of our communication time is spent listening; more than talking (30%), reading (16%), and writing (9%). As students we received training in reading, writing, or speaking, but few have had any formal training in listening.

Ten tips for effective listening:

  1. Stop talking! As long as you are talking, you cannot be listening.

  2. Behave as you think a good listener should behave. Put the speaker at ease, remove distractions, and show you are interested. Establish eye contact. Give nonverbal signals that your are paying attention. Be patient. Give the speaker time. Don't react emotionally. Keep concentrating in an effort to understand the message - even if you don't agree with it.

  3. Listen for the main points. Build a mental outline. Take notes if that helps you.

  4. Concentrate. Focus on the person speaking.

  5. Be open-minded. Don't make up your mind in advance about what the speaker will say or how you will react to it.

  6. Watch out for words which elicit emotional reactions from you. We all have signal reactions to certain words. Words like Baptist, Catholic, Republican, Democrat, fundamentalist, liberal, missionary, offering, and numerous others call forth a habitual response - we always react the same way when we hear them. Identify those words for yourself and slow down your reactions to them. Force yourself to get past the words in order to understand the person speaking them.

  7. Defer judgment. Wait until you have heard and understand the message before you make decisions.

  8. Listen empathetically. Try to assume the speaker's point of view. Seek to approach the message from the other person's perspective instead of your own.

  9. Ask questions. Questions show your interest and encourage the speaker. They also clarify the message for you.

  10. Stop talking! This is the first and the last of the techniques for effective listening. Instead of thinking about how to impress people with your wit and wisdom, plan to support others by your careful attention to them. Think about what the other person may be feeling as you listen.

© 1997 vinebranch@hotmail.com

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