Lesson 10

When we see sin in the life of others, we can take four possible steps to remedy the situation and build God's kingdom instead:

STEP 1: Repent of our own sins first before pointing out the sins of others;
STEP 2: Mourn over the sins of others as if they were your own (identificational repentance);
STEP 3: Speak to the offending party according to the disciplinary procedure prescribed by Jesus in Matthew 18:15-17, when the sin involves only you and the offending party;
STEP 4: Rebuke the offending party publicly if the sin is a public sin that affects the whole body of Christ.

A person who is always slow to repent, always defensive, and always quarrelsome is not qualified to point out the sins of others.
Jesus says that such a person is a hypocrite if he does so (Luke 6:24).
Before we point out the sins of others, we must make sure that we have repented of all known sins in our lives (Luke 6:41-42).

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye? Your hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from  your brother's eye.
(Luke 6:41-42)

Christians who are always causing problems for others, always quarreling with their own family members, or with other church members, will usually find that whatever they say to point out the sins of others will fall on deaf ears.
Nobody takes their accusations or advice seriously.

It is evident to everyone, except the person complaining, that it is a case of a kettle calling the pot black.
Such a Christian's life is in a mess, and yet he/she wants to complain about others.

It is only when you are a person who is known to be teachable, who is open to correction, and who quickly mourns over his sins, that you become qualified to point out the sins of others.

When we see sin in the church, we should identify ourselves with the sins of others, and repent before God on their behalf.

Every member is part of one spiritual body - the body of Christ.
When one part suffers, the whole body suffers (1 Corinthians 12:26-27).
When one member is guilty, the world rightly condemns and ridicules the whole church and the guilt of the one member becomes the guilt of the whole.

If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ and each one of you is a part of it.
(1 Corinthians 12:26-27)

Because of our unity through the Spirit of God (1 Corinthians 12:13), we can validly identify ourselves with the sins of other believers, and repent before God in their place.
This is called identificational repentance.

This was what Daniel and Nehemiah did when they repented both of their own sins and the sins of their fellow Jews.
Their sins had caused the judgment of God to come down upon the Jews and resulted in their exile to Babylon for 70 years (Daniel 9:3-21; Nehemiah 1:4-11).

Daniel prayed as follows:

I prayed to the LORD my God and confessed:

"O LORD, the great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant of love with all who love Him and obey His commands, we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and rebelled; we have turned away from Your commands. We have not listened to Your servants the prophets, who spoke in Your name to our kings, our princes and our fathers, and to all the people of the land.

"LORD, You are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame - the men of Judah and the people of Jerusalem and all Israel, both near and far, in all the countries where you have scattered us because of our unfaithfulness to You."

"O LORD, we and our kings, our princes and our fathers are covered with same because we have sinned against You. The LORD our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him; we have not obeyed the LORD our God or kept the laws He gave us through His servants the prophets. All Israel has transgressed Your law and turned away, refusing to obey You."

"Therefore the curses and sworn judgments written in the Law of Moses, the servant of God, have been poured out on us, because he have sinned against You. You have fulfilled the words spoken against us and against our rules by bringing upon us great disaster. Under the whole heaven nothing has ever been done like what has been done to Jerusalem. Just as it is written in the Law of Moses, all this disaster has come upon us, yet we have not sought the favor of the LORD our God by turning from our sins and giving attention to Your truth. The LORD did not hesitate to bring disaster upon us, for the LORD our God is righteous in everything He does; yet we have not obeyed Him."

"Now, O Lord our God, who brought Your people out of Egypt with a mighty hand and who made for Yourself a name that endures to this day, we have sinned, we have done wrong. O LORD, in keeping with all Your righteous acts, turn away Your anger and Your wrath from Jerusalem, Your city, Your holy hill. Our sins and the iniquities of our fathers have made Jerusalem and Your people and object of scorn to all those around us."

"Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of Your servant. For Your sake, O LORD, look with favor on Your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, O God, and hear; open Your eyes and see the desolation of the city that hears Your name. We do not make requests of You because we are righteous, but because of Your great mercy. O LORD, listen! O LORD, forgive! O LORD, hear and act! For Your sake, O my God, do not delay, because Your city and Your people bear Your name."

While I was speaking and praying, confessing my sin and and sin of my people Israel and making my request to the LORD my God for His only hill - while I was still in prayer, Gabriel, the man I had seen in the earlier vision, came to me in swift flight about the time of  the evening sacrifice.
(Daniel 9:3-21)

Daniel did not pray like a self-righteous Pharisee (Luke 18:9-14), who only points out the sins of others, but never identified with them.
Daniel identified with the sins of the previous generations, and with the sins of the Jews scattered both near and far.

Likewise, Nehemiah, a cupbearer to the King of Babylon, also identified with the sins of his fellow Jews as he interceded for his people (Nehemiah 1:4-11). 

When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days, I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. Then I said:

"O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant of love with those who love Him and obey His commands, let Your ear be attentive and Your eyes open to hear the prayer Your servant is praying before You day and night for Your servants, the people of Israel.'

"I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against You. We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and law You gave Your servant Moses."

"Remember the instruction You gave Your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if You return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my name.'

"They are Your servants and Your people, whom You redeemed by Your great strength and Your might hand. O LORD, let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of this Your servant and to the prayer of Your servants who delight in revering Your name. Give You servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man."
(Nehemiah 1:4-11)

As we identify with the sins of our fellow believers, we are identifying with the guilt of the body of Christ.
As we identify with others, and ask God for mercy upon all His people, we are showing our love and concern for the well-being of the whole body.
As we do this, we are then in a position to confront the sin in other believers life.

Our Lord Jesus has prescribed a very strict procedure to be following for dealing with offences between two individuals.
If every believer obeys our Lord and willingly submits to our Lord's simple instructions, then church unity, love and righteousness will prevail in the church.

The church will no longer be a breeding ground for personal animosity, criticisms, slander, back-biting, bitterness, and division and strife at the interpersonal level.
It will be heaven on earth, and it can be achieved.

Thus our Lord prescribed:

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that "every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses." If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
(Matthew 18:15-17)

The 4 stages outlined by our Lord for settling a personal offence against you by another are as follows:

(i) Stage 1: If a brother sins against you personally, you should first of all see him and tell him of his fault, just between the two of you (Matthew 18:15-17).
You are not allowed to criticize him to your spouse, to your mother, to your mother-in-law, to the pastor, or to other church members.
This is gossip, and will compound and magnify and multiply the problem.

If he listens to you and repents, then you have won a brother over (Matthew 18:15).
The matter is then considered settled, and you are not to bring it up again.
Just as God remembers our sins no more when He forgives us, we are to do likewise in regards to the sins of our brother who repents (Hebrews 1:12).

Thus other church members must not allow themselves to be involved in settling any disputes between two brothers if the offended brother has not gone personally to the offending party to settle their problem just between the two of them.

We must never interfere if this first stage has not been taken.
It is against the teaching of our Lord Jesus.
If we get ourselves involved, we will aggravate the problem and make it worse.
Refrain from being a zealous but unwise peacemaker.
Follow the way prescribed by Jesus; our Lord knows what is best for His church.

This is also the reason why a man who gets married must leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife alone (Genesis 2:24).
In other words, he is to stay physically away from his own parents, and also from his in-laws.
This is because the well-meaning parents and in-laws will interfere in any dispute between the newly-weds (and they will be many after the honeymoon), and cause small problems to develop into serious disagreements and explosions.

All parent-in-laws must trust God to help their children and their children's spouses settle their problems and grow in love by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Do not interfere unless invited, no matter how much wisdom you think you have.

(ii) Stage 2: If the offending party will not listen, you are then allowed to take one or two others as witnesses to talk to the offending brother about his fault.
You are not allowed to bring alone more than 2 other witnesses.
If you do that, you are using intimidation by numbers.
You are also no longer depending on the power of the Holy Spirit to convict the offending brother, but instead, you are depending on the power of a majority. 
This is wrong.

If you bring more than two witnesses, more people will know of the problem, even if the problem is settled at this stage.
Because of this, there is a greater danger of gossip even after the problem is settled.

At this stage, you are also not allowed to bring up this offence with others in the church, except for the witnesses you are bringing along.
Otherwise, you are indulging in gossip and slander, and making the problem worse.
Hopefully, at this stage, the offending party will repent before you and the other witnesses.

(iii) Stage 3: If he will not repent, we are then to tell it to the whole church.
At this stage, a brother should repent if he has sinned and not stubbornly refuse to repent in order to save his pride.
This is extremely foolish, for he will then come under God's judgment.

(iv) Stage 4: If he will not repent before the church, he is to be expelled or excommunicated, and cast out from the fellowship of believers.
He is to be treated as an unbeliever.
He is no longer under God's protection and blessing.
In fact, because he is under the judgment of God, he is opened to demonic attack on his life - in areas of safety, health, finance, mental wellbeing, etc.

If somebody commits a sin which affects the whole church, then the pastor must take action and rebuke the offender publicly.
If the offending party does not repent, he is to be excommunicated right away.

Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.
(1 Timothy 5:19-20)

Some of these public sins that can defile the whole body are as follows:

A public rebuke is a very severe form of reprimand.
It is reserved for a brother who has sinned personally against another but who would not repent before the offended party and legal witnesses (Matthew 18:15-17).
It is also applied to those who have sinned publicly (1 Timothy 5:19-20).

A public rebuke is necessary in order to:

1. exalt the name of God, so that God's name will not be blasphemed among the unbelievers, due to public evil in the church (1 Corinthians 5:1; 1 Timothy 6:1; Titus 2:5);

2. bring about true repentance of the offender (1 Corinthians 5:5);

3. prevent evil from spreading to other church members, like yeast spreading through dough (1 Corinthians 5:6);

4. warn others not to fall into the same sins (1 Timothy 5:19-20).

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father's wife. And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of fellowship the man who did this? Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?
But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man, do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. Expel the wicked man from among you.
(1 Corinthians 5:1-6, 11-13)

Your thought

1. Have you consistently followed the procedure prescribed by our Lord Jesus in Matthew 18:15-17 in dealing with offences against you by another brother?
   If not, why not?

2. What methods did you use instead for dealing with such offences?
   Why are your own methods wrong?