Lesson 25

Of the Ten Commandments that God gave to the Israelites through Moses, God's command to honor our parents is the FIRST of the commands concerning man-to-man relationships.
In other words, the honoring of our parents is very important in God's eyes.
In fact, it forms a very basic foundation for the well-being of our lives, our family and our society. Honoring our parents is known as "filial piety."

When parents are not honored, our lives would be shortened by sicknesses, calamities and other attacks of the devil.
Our families would lose their proper structure and function, and chaos and strife would result. Eventually, a society without filial piety would disintegrate.

God first gave this command as part of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12).
Later, both our Lord Jesus and Paul the apostle reaffirmed this command in the New Testament (Matthew 15:4; Ephesians 6:1-3).

Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
(Exodus 20:12)

"Honor your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on this earth."
(Ephesians 6:2-3)

If we have a desire to serve God to the fullest, we want to live on this earth as long as we can.
However, if a believer dishonors his parents, his life will be shortened.
He will not live long on this earth.

Honor your father and your mother so that you may LIVE LONG in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
(Exodus 20:12)

Our disobedience to this command will open a door to the devil to attack us with sickness, tragedies, calamities and destruction.
Even God cannot protect us from such disaster when we disobey the Fourth Commandment of the Decalogue.

We honor our parents in 3 main areas:

As children, we are commanded by God to obey our parents.
When we obey our parents, we are honoring them.
This will bring great joy to our parents.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
(Ephesians 6:1)

Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction.
     pay attention and gain understanding.
(Proverbs 4:1)

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;
     he will bring delight to your soul.
(Proverbs 29:17)

A wise son heed's his father's instruction.
     but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.
(Proverbs 13:1)

A fool spurn his father's discipline,
     but whoever heeds correction shows prodence.
(Proverbs 15:5)

Because you did not serve the LORD your God JOYFULLY AND GLADLY in time of prosperity, therefore in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and in dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the LORD sends against you. He will put an iron yoke on your neck until He has destroyed you.
(Deuteronomy 28:47-48)

Do not without discipline from a child;
     if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Punish him with the rod
     and save his soul from death.
(Proverbs 23:13-14)

Parents thus have a duty before God of ensuring that their children obey them. We are showing love to them if we discipline them for their disobedience.
This will save them from a life of misery and torture when they grow up.

This is the second area in which we honor our parents.
We must treat them with respect and not treat them rudely and harshly, especially when they are old.
God commands us to show respect to our elders (Leviticus 19:32).
These elders include our parents.

Rise in the presence of the age, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.
(Leviticus 19:32)

Anyone who curses his father and mother must be put to death.
(Exodus 21:17)

If anyone curses his father and mother, he must be put to death.
(Leviticus 20:9)

The third aspect of honoring our parents is to provide for their financial support in their old age, when they are not able to provide for themselves.
However, even when parents are able to support themselves, a nominal financial gift every month to them is a sign of honor to our parents.

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, THESE should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
(1 Timothy 5:4)

If we do not fulfill our responsibility in providing for our relatives (including our parents, grandparents), we have denied our faith, and are worse than unbelievers.
We will be a bad testimony for Christ (1 Timothy 5:8).

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
(1 Timothy 5:8)

Jesus condemned the Pharisees for teaching others to dishonor their parents by using religious traditions as an excuse (Matthew 15:3-9).
A religious excuse sounds honoring to God, when in actual fact, it is a form of rebellion against God because it causes men to break God's commands.

Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God, he is not to honor his father with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.
You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:
    These people honor me with their lips,
          but their hearts are far from me.
     They worship me in vain;
          their teachings are but rules taught by men.'"
(Matthew 15:3-9)

Although it is God's will that we honor our parents, we should not go against the word of God when we honor them.
We must not sin against God and excuse ourselves by saying that our parents asked us to do so.
We can only honor our parents when their desires are in line with God's word.
There are many areas of potential conflict between God's will and parental will.

We must always put God's will first, no matter what the cost.
Some of these areas of potential conflict are:

When we are young, we must submit to the training and instruction of our parents.
We must go to the schools they send us to and learn the subjects they want us to.
We must even learn a trade as an apprentice to our father or mother when we are growing up under their rule.

However, when we have reached adulthood, and God calls us to serve him in a new area of service or job, we must obey God.
We must no longer serve according to the desires of our parents at that point.
Although it may break our parents' heart to see us following God's call and not their plans, we must love God more than our parents (Matthew 10:37).
As we honor God, He will work things out for the good of our parents.

Anyone who loves his father and mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
(Matthew 10:37)

E.g. When Jesus was a child, He submitted himself to the rule of his parents.
Although our Lord was aware of His calling even when He was twelve years old, He nevertheless submitted Himself to his earthly parents (Joseph and Mary) until the time came for Him to fulfill the call of God (Luke 2:49-52).
In His submission to His parents, He even took up the trade of a carpenter, following the footsteps of His earthly father (Mark 6:3; Matthew 13:55).

"Why are you searching for me?" Jesus asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" But they (Joseph and Mary) did not understand what He was saying to them. Then He went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But His mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.
(Luke 2:49-52)

"Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joses, Judas and simon?"
(Mark 6:3)

"Isn't this the carpenter's son?"
(Matthew 13:55)

When the time came for Jesus to fulfill God's call, He left his trade and home and began to preach throughout Judea (Matthew 3:13-4:25).
Even though His mother Mary and brothers wanted to bring Him home, thinking that He was mad, Jesus did not follow His mother's wishes.
In fact, when they visited Him, He also did not stop preaching God's word in order to entertain them (Mark 3:20-21, 31-35).
This might have seemed rude and disrespectful to His mother on the part of Jesus, but honoring God is more important.

Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that He and His disciples were not even able to eat. When His family heard about this, they went to take charge of Him, for they said, "He is out of His mind."
Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone to call Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they told Him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."
"Who are my mother and my brothers?" He asked.
Then He looked at those seated in a circle around Him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."
(Mark 3:20-21, 31-35)

E.g. When the cal of God came upon the early disciples of Jesus, they left their trade and parents in order to obey God (Mark 1:16-20).

When He had gone a little further, He saw James the son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay He called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed Him.
(Mark 1:19-20)

A marriage contract is a covenant between two persons of the opposite sex for life.
God has decreed in His word that we must not marry unbelievers, for that would hinder us from serving God (2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39).
Although we should be open to match-making by our parents, we must not agree to their choice if they want us to marry an unbeliever.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
(2 Corinthians 6:14)

A women is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
(1 Corinthians 7:39)

A lot of parents wants their newly married children to stay with them, for the sake of convenience, financial consideration, and tradition.
This is wrong, and will give rise to troubles for the newly-married children.
Instead, God wants a man to leave his parents when he gets married, in order to begin a new home with his wife (Genesis 2:24).

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
(Genesis 2:24)

Some cultural practices of men that seek to honor parents can conflict with God's will and should not be followed.
Such practices can cause us to become involved with idolatry (e.g. other religious ceremonies, etc)
Yet at other times, such a tradition (e.g. rushing home to bury a recently deceased parent) may cause us to put aside ministry to the Lord.
In such a case, we must put God first before society's tradition (Matthew 8:21-22).

Another man, one of His disciples, said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
(Matthew 8:21-22)

Your thought

1. Did you have a happy childhood? If not, why not?

2. Have you forgiven your parents for any hurt they may have caused you in the past?
   If you have not, do it now.

3. In what ways can you honor your own parents this year?

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page