Lesson 32

God has prescribed in His word a divine order for the husband and wife in every family, in the areas of authority, function and relationship.

Unless this order is followed, a family will never live up to its divine calling.
However, when the order is followed, God's grace will flow abundantly into and through that family.

The devil has been trying his best since the creation of man to destroy this order.
He knows that in this way, families will be torn apart, churches will be weakened, and society will break down.
In this way, God's work through human families will be frustrated.

And the devil has succeeded in his work to a certain extent, in view of the rampant reports of family breakdown, including:

However, in these last days, God is restoring divine order into families that turn to Him (Malachi 4:6; Luke 1:17).
Through the cross of Jesus, God is also restoring divine relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children.
In this way, the presence, power and love of God can once again be manifested through His people to a world that is living in darkness (Isaiah 60:1-3).

For a family to live in divine order, God's righteousness must prevail in three areas:

For any community to remain strong, there must be unity of vision and action.
For unity to prevail, there must always be a final decision-maker, who is the head of the community.
Otherwise, there will be endless divisions and strife, and continuous civil war,
Nobody wants to live in a country, church or family in that situation.

For the family, God has ordained that the husband is the head of the wife and family.
The wife is thus commanded to submit to the husband as to the Lord.

Now I want you to realize that the HEAD of every man is Christ, and the HEAD of the woman is man, and the HEAD of Christ is God.
                                                                                                        (1 Corinthians 11:3)

Wives, SUBMIT to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the HEAD of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, of which He is the Savior.
Now as the Church SUBMITS to Christ, so also wives should SUBMIT to their husbands in everything.                                            (Ephesians 5:22-24)

The truths and implications concerning the headship of man in the family are as follows:

In order that God may fulfill His plans for the universe, He has established a line of authority to carry out His plans.

In this line of authority

Thus we see that headship and submission is part of God's will and plan for fulfilling His purposes.
If we ignore God's line of authority, we are rebelling against God Himself and  not only against those set over us.
Such an attitude will grieve the heart of God and allow the devil to destroy us and our loved ones.

In God's creative activity, God created man first before He created woman.
In fact, Adam had begun to fulfill his dominion mandate by naming the animals before the creation of woman (Genesis 2:20).
This was to indicate that God has put headship in the family on the shoulders of the man (Genesis 2:7, 18, 22; 1 Corinthians 11:8; 1 Timothy 2:11-13).
Eve, created after Adam, was designed to be his helper, and not his competitor or enemy.
Thus, she was not made by God to be the head of the family.

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
For man did not come from woman, but WOMAN FROM MAN; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.    (1 Corinthians 11:3, 8-9)

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.
I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.
For ADAM WAS FORMED FIRST, THEN EVE. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.                                                                                           (1 Timothy 2:11-14)

Also, when God first created Adam, he had already given instructions to Adam concerning his work before Eve was created (Genesis 2:15-25).
Thus. when woman was made, it was Adam's responsibility to communicate God's commands to his wife.
In other words, Adam was acting as a priest and prophet on behalf of his wife before the Lord.
In other words, Adam was acting as the head of the family as soon as Eve was created and given to Adam in marriage.

The wife's submission to her husband is part of a chain of submission that flows from woman to man, man to Christ, and from Christ to God Himself (1 Corinthians 11:3).
No part of this chain is culturally determined or a matter of personal choice.
Every part of this chain of authority is determined by God and is valid for all times.

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 
                                                                                                        (1 Corinthians 11:3)

As long as a woman is married to her husband on this earth, she is to submit to her husband.
Although some cultures exist in which the woman leads the family, this is a violation of God's will.

We obey God in every area, including in family matters, because we fear God rather than man.
We obey God because we want to live a life pleasing to Him, instead of bringing grief to God through rebellion.

Thus a husband serves as head of the family because he wants to obey God.
He should not be afraid of what the wife or others may say.
He should not give up or abdicate his responsibility because of opposition from the wife, or because of pressure from others.
He should fear God and act as the head of the family as an act of obedience to God.

Likewise, a wife is commanded to submit to the husband as TO THE LORD.
Thus a wife submits to her husband not because of the fear of man but because she wants to please the Lord.

Wives, submit to your husbands AS TO THE LORD. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, of which He is the Savior.
Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.                                                (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Since the line of authority in the family has been ordained by God, every family member must approach his or her position in this family order with reverence for God (Hebrews 12:28-29 NKJ).
They must see headship and submission as duties and responsibilities before God, which they must fulfill with joy and gladness, in order to serve God.
They must never view headship and submission as an everyday tussle or struggle for power and rights.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.
For God is a consuming fire.                                                   (Hebrews 12:28-29)

Many men do not submit to God's word, and find their lives a wreck, because they have opened a door to the devil to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10).
Many women, coming under the influence of the woman's liberation movement and the feminist movement, are not willing to submit to their husbands.

Sometimes, we feel that we are wiser than God.
However, we ignore God's wisdom to our own detriment and sorrow.

God's ordained line of authority is for our good and protection (James 4:7).
It reflects His desire for unity in the family and church.
It also provides a channel for the communication of His vision and plans, instructions and warnings to man and then to the family.

Submit yourselves, then, to God, Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.                                                                                                            (James 4:7)

A believer can never be truly free unless he accepts God's authority and revelation in every are of his life (John 8:31-32).
Likewise, a wife will truly be free and fulfilled in God only when she submits to the headship of her husband.
There is no protection or safety or blessing or freedom unless one is under authority.
God knows what is best for man and woman.

Just as Jesus is the head of the Church, in the same manner, the husband is ordained by God to be the head of the wife and family.
The Lord Jesus knows what is best for the Church in its everyday life and ministry.
Likewise, the husband of the family will have God's wisdom to lead the family, because God has appointed him as head.

Just as the Church is commanded to submit to the Lord Jesus, so the wife is likewise to submit to her husband.
The submission of the Church to Jesus as head is not slavery or bandage, but a necessity for the Church's protection and the fulfillment of the Church's calling.
Likewise, a wife submits to her husband as the head of the family for the same reasons (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife AS CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH, His body, of which He is the Savior.
Now AS THE CHURCH SUBMITS TO CHRIST, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.                              (Ephesians 5:22-24)

When we disobey God, we grieve the Holy Spirit, and hurt and destroy ourselves and our loved ones.
When we despise the word of God, we will be judged by God in the end (1 Samuel 15:26; 2 Samuel 12:10-14).

But Samuel said to Saul, "You have rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD has rejected you as king over Israel."          (1 Samuel 15:24)

Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul ...... Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you DESPISED ME and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.'"                                         (2 Samuel 12:7, 10)

E.g. When Eve and Adam abandoned their God-given roles in the Garden of Eden, sin entered into mankind and caused death and destruction ever since (Genesis 3:6-12, Romans 5:12).
Eve had acted independently of Adam as head, and had instead listened to the devil and ate of the forbidden fruit first (1 Timothy 2:14).
Adam, instead of rebuking Eve, agreed to her decision, and ate the fruit with her, bringing untold problems to the human family thereafter.
Adam had neglected his responsibility of leading his family under God's authority.

God has appointed the husband to make the final decision in all matters concerning the family.
In this way, the unity of the family will be maintained and the family will stay together.
No family or church or country can have two heads.
If this happens, there will be division and strife.

The wife is therefore commanded by God's word to submit to the husband in everything (Ephesians 5:24).
A wife should never say to her husband:

God holds the husband responsible for all decisions made in the family, and his views should therefore never be construed as interference by the wife.

Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING.                                               (Ephesians 5:24)

Headship is a responsibility that God has put upon man for the well-being and success of his family.
It is not a position whereby a man can exert his ego to tyrannize and enslave his wife and children.
Every decision the head makes will affect the family either for good or for evil.
And God holds the head responsible for such decision.

God appointed a head for every family because He wants to communicate His plans and concerns for every family.
In this way, God's will is done through that family.
In this way, God's kingdom is established through that family.
Therefore, headship is to be viewed by both husbands and wives as a heavy responsibility rather than as an opportunity to victimize or bully other family members.

The husband must never put the blame on the wife for and decisions made by the family that did not work out well.
Whether it was his own suggestions or his wife's suggestions, once a decision is made, the man must not put the responsibility on his wife or children.
As the head of the family, God holds him responsible for all family decisions, whether made by himself or his wife.

E.g. Spoiling the son with a super bike, exposing him to unnecessary dangers, and blaming the son when accidents do occur.
E.g. Splashing money on a home-cinema system, and finding it difficult to pay tithes and offering, and blaming the wife for wanting to buy the luxury.

E.g. After Adam ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, he tried to put the blame for his sin upon his wife (Genesis 3:9-12).
Such finger-pointing is wrong.
A man will always be held responsible by God and by society for what happens to his family.

But the LORD called to the man (Adam), "Where are you?"
He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid."
And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"
The man said, "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."                                                    (Genesis 3:9-12)

A husband must submit to Christ in order to walk in God's wisdom and revelation.
Only in this way is he able to make the right decisions as head of the family.
Like a woman, a man himself must submit to authority in order to walk in the blessings of God.

A man who rebels against the authority of Christ is practicing witchcraft (1 Samuel 15:23 NKJ).
His rebellion against Christ opens a door for the devil to harass and oppress him (James 4:7).

Then Samuel said (to Saul), "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry."                 (1 Samuel 13:22-23)

 

Your thought

1. What are the various units of society in which you see an order of headship and submission? (See Romans 13:1-13; Ephesians 5:22-6:9; Hebrews 13:17).

2. Why is such a line of authority needed in these various units of society?

3. Why are some men unwilling to take up their responsibility as the head of the family?

4. Why are some women unwilling to submit to their husbands?

5. What happens to a family when there is no proper headship and submission as designed by God?

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