Lesson 50

"Easily taking offense at the perceived wrongdoings of others and expressed as a frown, as displeasure, or through an angry look or the silent treatment, through yelling, shouting and scolding, or through condemnation and sarcasm."

A person who is easily angered is said to be a "quick-tempered" person.
He loses control of his emotions easily and is easily upset by the words and actions of others (Proverbs 25:28).
In other words, he is highly irritable.
He snaps at others for their slightest "perceived" wrongdoing against him.

Like a city whose walls are broken down
     is a man who lacks self-control.                                            (Proverbs 25:28)

It is a sin to be easily angered (1 Corinthians 13:5).
A person who is easily angered does not give the offending party a chance to explain his "wrongdoing".
The person who gets angry easily acts as the accuser and the judge all at the same time and condemns another through his anger.

Love is not easily angered.                                                     (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every from of malice.                                                            (Ephesians 4:31)

"Having an unforgiving heart, that expresses itself through the remembering of the sins that others have committed against us, keeping all our past hurts in our heart and not giving them to God."

A person who "keeps a record of wrongs" is essentially an unforgiving person.
He remembers all the hurt and pain (real or imaginary) that others have caused him and does not forget these hurts, no matter how long ago they were committed.
He brings up all these hurts whenever he can in order to justify his present actions or situation.

Such a person may declare that he has forgiven the offending party for the hurt he has suffered in the past.
However, if he brings up the hurt again an again to justify his present actions, it shows that he has not forgiven the offending party.

Having an unforgiving heart is a sin (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Instead, God wants us to readily, quickly and willingly forgive one another, just as God in Christ has readily, quickly and willingly forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32).

Love keeps no record of wrongs.                                         (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Be kind and compassionate to one another, FORGIVING EACH OTHER, just as in Christ God forgave you.                             (Ephesians 4:32)

When we are easily angered, we will find that there is more opportunity to remember the sins of others against us.
One sin leads to the others.

When a person is easily angered, he opens himself to the destruction of the devil.
The devil also uses him to hurt and destroy others, especially those close to him.

Whenever we get angry with another in our family or in the church, we are breaking the unity in our family or in the body of Christ.
The peace of God within the family or body is broken, and must be restored again.

The communication channel between the two parties is broken.
The two parties become tense, hurt, and distrustful of one another.
And the devil can use this disruption in communication to cause further problems, unless both parties reconcile.

An angry man stirs up dissension,
     and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.                    (Proverbs 29:22)

When we get angry easily, we are being "quick to judge." This is wrong.
When we feel that another party has done wrong to us, we must allow the other party a chance to explain.
The other party may be totally innocent.

E.g. Your employee is late for an important assignment.
Don't just explode when you see him.
Find out the reason why he is late.
He may have been involved in an accident (and it may not be his fault).
Or one of his car tyres may have punctured.
Or your secretary may have given him the wrong appointment time.

E.g. Your son may have bought the wrong sauce from the shop after you have sent him on an errand. (You may not have communicated with him clearly).
Thank God for such a good son, and do not jump on him for his mistake.
Otherwise you will discourage him from wanting to obey his parents.

When a person is quick-tempered, he is indirectly using his temper to control and manipulate others.
Others begin to fear the outbursts and temper tantrums of such a person.
This is because most people are peace-loving and do not wish to provoke a ho-tempered man.
In the end, such a may always seems to get his way, because others give way to him.

This is a form of witchcraft, because it manipulates and controls others through fear.
In the same way, even a spoilt child knows that he can get away with anything by throwing temper tantrums, in the home or in public.
He is no different from quick-tempered adult.
Both are childish, manipulative and a source of tension and hardship for others in the family or church or place of work.

A quick-tempered man has few true friends.
This is because others want to avoid him if they can help it, because nobody likes to be scolded and attacked unnecessarily.

In this way, a man who is easily angered will alienate himself from others.
Because of his quick temper, he is always in danger of losing his customers, his friends, his job and his wife.
The few people who dare associate with him will always not dare tell him the truth for fear of provoking his temper.

In fact, the word of God counsels us not to associate with one who is quick-tempered (Proverbs 22:24-25).
The spirit of ungodly anger might enter into our being if we are not careful.

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man,
     do not associate with one easily angered.
or you may learn his ways
     and get yourself ensnared.                                                (Proverbs 22:24-25)

However, for the husband or wife with a hot-tempered spouse, staying apart is not an option, although many wished it is possible (Proverbs 21:9,19).
Only deep cries from the heart to the Lord for mercy can change such a situation.

Better to live on a corner of the roof
     than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Better to live in a desert
     than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.              (Proverbs 21:9,19)

A person who is easily angered may one day find that his anger has grown full blown to become uncontrollable rage if not dealt with.
His anger may cause him to sin against God and against others without just cause.
Jesus warns that such anger is no different from murder, and such a person is in great danger of losing his salvation and of going to hell (Matthew 5:21-22).

When we do not readily forgive and forget an offense against us, we will keep on meditating on it.
This will magnify the offense in our mind and cause us to prolong our anger against the offending party.
If fact, if we continue to bring up the past offenses of others, we will lose all our close friends (Proverbs 17:9).

He who covers over an offense promotes love,
     but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
                                                                                                              (Proverbs 17:9)

When we do not forgive others, God will allow demons to oppress us.
He will no longer protect us from the attacks of the evil one, unless we repent.

In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, our Lord Jesus told a parable about a man who owned a huge sum of money to his master, the king (Matthew 18:21-35).
The king cancelled this man's debt because he was unable to pay him and because he begged for mercy.
However, when this servant met a fellow servant who owned him only a little sum of money, he did not show mercy to his fellow servant.
Instead, he threw him into prison.

When the king heard about this, he was furious.
The king said to the unmerciful servant, "You wicked servant, I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?"
In anger his master turned him over to the jailers [tormentor, KJV], until he should pay back all he owned.

After telling the Parable, Jesus added, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35).

whenever we meditate on or bring up past offenses of others against us, we have bound ourselves to the past.
The past is gone, and reliving it will do us no good but harm.

If we dwell on the past offenses of others, we will unable to break lose from things of the past that weigh us down and hinder us from loving others.
We will find it impossible to love another today if we still harbor ill-feelings against him because of past wrongs.

Those who keep a record of past offenses will very often use these offenses as an excuses to justify their present day failure, laziness, poverty, etc.
They will try to put the blame on others, including parents (why may be dead), siblings, relatives, pastors, church leaders and members, former employers and colleagues, neighbors, etc., for their present difficulties.

Instead of looking to God for strength and instead of walking in faith and obedience to God, they blame the past offenses of other people for their present problems.
Such people will never grow into their full inheritance and riches in Christ.

When we keep a record of wrongs, we will become bitter in our heart.
The hurts in our heart that are not dealt with through forgiving others will become a root of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15).
All that we do or say will the become defiled (polluted, contaminated) with our resentment, anger and hatred that spring from this root of bitterness.

We will lose the joy and peace of God, and become a stench to everyone around us.
This is because we do not bring words of blessings to others we talk with our dirt from the past instead and unload this on others.
Everyone will avoid us because of our negative and wrong attitude.

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.                           (Hebrews 12:15)

If we keep a record of wrongs of others, we have not forgiven them.
And if we do not forgive others, God will also not forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15).
And because our sins remain with us, all our prayers will be hindered.
God will no longer hear our prayers and His blessings will stop flowing into our life.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.                                    (Matthew 6:14-15)

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
                                                                                                                   (Mark 11:25)

If I had cherished sin in my heart.
     the Lord would not have listened.                                             (Psalm 66:18)

A hot-tempered man is immature and carnal, lacking self-control, a fruit of the Spirit.
He is a fool who will eventually destroy himself and his loved ones.
He is not being smart at all as he usually thinks he is.

A fool gives vent to his anger,
     but a wise man keeps himself under control.                    (Proverbs 29:11)

Do not be quick to judge by what you see from the outside.
It is a command of God that we be slow to anger (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Therefore we must always obey God's command and always control our temper.

It is to a man's honor to avoid strife,
     but every fool is quick to quarrel.                                           (Proverbs 20:3)

When you feel that someone has done something wrong against you, give him a chance to explain.
He may be totally innocent.
It is not fair to judge another only by outward appearance.

Even if we are right and another person has truly offended us, we still do not have to get angry.
We must always learn to control ourselves and speak gently and softly, pointing out to the other party his wrongdoing.
You do not have to shout, scream or yell.
Just learn to tell the truth gently and softly.

Love covers  multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
In other words, God wants us to overlook the personal offenses of others against us without always bringing up their faults and condemning them.
Meanwhile we pray for them and believe that God will cause them to grow into spiritual maturity.
In this way, we give room for others to make mistakes and learn from their mistakes.

However, public sins which destroy the unity and integrity of the body of Christ must be dealt with as soon as possible. E.g. Cleaning of the Temple (John 2:13-16).
Likewise personal offenses which are constantly repeated and have become an evil habit must be dealt with according to Matthew 18:15-17.

E.g. Although the disciples of Jesus (and most probably Jesus himself) knew that Judas Iscariot was a thief who helped himself to the money in the money bag, they overlooked his weakness and did not highlight or confront him over it (John 12:1-6).

E.g. Jesus always treated Judas Iscariot with love and spoke gently with him even though he knew that Judas was going to betray him.
In fact, when Judas came with a group of armed man to arrest Jesus and gave our Lord a kiss, Jesus replied as follows: "Friend, do what you came for" (Matthew 26:47-50). Jesus did not condemn or accuse him.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.                                                                                  (1 Peter 4:8)

He who covers over an offense promotes love,
     but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
                                                                                                              (Proverbs 17:9)

Most people who are easily angered are self-righteous people.
They have the pompous attitude that they can never do wrong, while always seeing faults and mistakes in others.
This is self-deception and obvious to everyone but the person concerned.

In truth, we must all realize that all of us sin often and offend others often.
In truth, even the attitude of a self-righteous person is offensive to others.
We need to know the common saying that "To err is human; to forgive is divine."

Because of the fact that we all do sin against one another often, we need to treat each other gently and not be judgmental or harsh toward the mistakes of others.
As we are gentle with others, others will be gentle with us (Matthew 7:1-2, 12).

Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.                          (Matthew 7:1-2)

In everything, do to others what you would have them to do to you.
                                                                                                               (Matthew 7:12)

God does not want us to keep a record of the wrongs of others.
When we confess our sins to God, He forgives our and remember our sins no more (Isaiah 43:25; Jeremiah 31:34; Hebrews 8:12).
We are to do likewise. To do that we need to do the following:

Once we have forgiven someone, we must no longer recall his offense in our mind.
Rather, we should forget the sin and move one, giving the offending party a new beginning.
Neither should we bring up such past offenses again in our conversation.

If we do, then we will be bound to the past.
We will be demonized and be oppressed.
People who often talk about their past hurts will never gain any victory in their life, because they are unwilling to forgive and are demonized.

God wants us to keep our heart clean before Him.
However, God can only forgive us when we forgive those who have sinned against us (Matthew 6:12, 14-15).
We must therefore quickly forgive anyone who has offended us, no matter how big or small the offense is.
We must forgive even if the offending party is not aware of his sins or is not willing to admit his sins against us.

E.g. while he has hanging on the cross, our Lord forgave all those who persecuted Him. He said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

Jesus has commanded us to love our enemies, pray for them and do good to them (Matthew 5:43-48; Luke 6:27-28).
Therefore after we have forgiven those who have offended us, we must pray for their spiritual growth and do good to them.

As we begin to pray for others, God will soften our hearts and cause love in our heart to grow more for our "enemies".
As a result, we will find it hard to remember their past offenses or hate them anymore.
In time, they will be changed by God into the likeness of Jesus, if they are believers in Christ.

Everytime your mind "recall" the past offenses of others, realize that it is the devil who wants you to meditate on their past sins.
Do not fall into the devil's trap. Instead command him to get lost.
And begin to pray for the persons involved.
Tell the devil: "Devil, in Jesus' name, get lost! I have forgiven my brother. I remember his sins no more. I bless him and his family."

Your thought

1. Why do we get angry easily?
   

2. How do we deal with our quick temper (if we have one)?
   

3. How do we deal with the sin of "keeping a record of wrongs"?
   In other words, how do we deal with unforgiveness in our heart?
   

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page