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    		• What is Fulkenberry.com?

        Contrary to popular belief, Fulkenberry.com did not fall from the heavens to bless your senses.  It was designed by Fulkenberry and assembled in Thailand sweatshops.   There are more details but Fulkenberry fears your brains and groins will be unable to withstand such stories of heroism and heroin.  The most important thing to remember is that this entire site is designed for you, the 70's porn star.


    Who is Fulkenberry?

        If you actually ask this question it must be because you want into Fulkenberry's pants. Don't worry, most guys feel that way.  Fulkenberry started his life as a baby, just like you. The only difference between your childhood and his is that he was born without shoulders. When Fulkenberry was nine he moved to the mean streets.  This is about the time he started creating Fulkenberry.com.



    		     A common misconception is that Fulkenberry still lives on the streets in his mobile home (pictured left).   Of course this couldn't be true because his exposed genius brain is entirely too large to fit inside such a confining space.  Fulkenberry must also beat his arms 150 times a minute to stay alive. Only Richard Simmons could do that with limited space.  Also, he stopped tight rolling his jeans in the 80's.
        In reality, Fulkenberry bakes cookies in his real home, the Fat Cave (pictured right). Visitors are welcome but they must endure the gluttoness "Curse of the Melty's Pie Hole" to gain entrance.   Another feature of the Fat Cave is its location in a remote jungle.  This is apparent because of the foilage hat.  Finally, the cave has the best of both worlds, breasts and a wanker.

        Fulkenberry hopes you enjoy all that he has to offer.   A major part of this site will be the contributions from you, the starving artist and poet.  You are encouraged to send in your own comics and artwork.  The Ultimate Art Critic, Fulkenberry, will tell you if you will be famous or if you should return to your life of panhandling and frisbee tournaments, fag.  If you feel your brain and super senses are superior of those found in Fulkenberry's giant head, he encourages you to write him and tell him why you love his site, or why you love him, or why you love when your dog licks peanut butter off your nuts.  The same also applies if you hate any of the previously mentioned items.