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| The 25 THINGS NOT to be when YOU GROW UP |
| 1. Street Mime 2. Liposuctionist 3. Wigmaker 4. Galley Slave 5. Political Prisoner |
| 6. Radioactive Waste Collector 7. Envelope Licker 8. Crash Test Dummy 9. Scullery Maid 10. Balloon Animal Artist |
| 11. Romance Novelist 12. Infomercial Host or Hostess 13. Lard Packer 14. Bowling Pin Setter 15. Human Sacrifice |
| 16. Dog Food Cook 17. Septic Tank Repairman 18. Fat Man in a Circus Sideshow 19. Janitor at an Adult Movie Theater 20. Republican |
| 21. Leech Farmer 22. Lipstick Tester 23. Talkshow Host's Wimpy Sidekick 24. Wart Specialist 25. A Clone of Your Parents |
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