Hilarious Jokes Part II

National Flags

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.

"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

Wedding

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"

Politicians will be Politicians

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.

The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.

The old farmer said he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

Money brings Joy??

"William, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
"That's great, honey!Should I pack for the beach, the mountains, or what?"
"Who cares? Just get out."

Perfect Shot

A guy is standing over his tee shot, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.

His partner says, "What's taking so long?"
The first guy says, "My wife is on the clubhouse porch, so I want to make a perfect shot."

His partner looks over to the clubhouse a moment, then turns back to his friend and says,
"Forget it...you'll never hit her from here."

Gift For The Teacher

It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.

The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.

The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy." "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.

The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.

"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."

Mad??

Darryl and Harold were in a mental institution. The place had an unusual annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they were deemed cured and free to go.

Darryl was called into the doctor's office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. Darryl said "yes" and the doctor proceeded.

"Darryl, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"
Darryl said, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What if I poked out both eyes?"
"I'd be completely blind." The doctor stood up, shook

Darryl's hand, and told him he was free to go.

On Darryl's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Darryl mentioned the exam to Harold, who was seated in the waiting room. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers.

So Harold went into the doctor's office when he was called. The doctor went thru' the formalities and then asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
Remembering what Darryl had told him, he answered, "I'd be half blind."

The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut off the other ear?"
"I'd be completely blind," Harold answered.

"Harold, can you explain how you'd be blind?"
"My hat would fall down over my eyes."

Read Fun At Beach
Read Fun At Park
Take World's Simplest Quiz
Read Jokes Part I
Read Jokes Part II
Read Jokes Part III
Read Jokes Part IV
Read Jokes Part V