The Quotes Basement
Sub-Level 2


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening - but this wasn't it"

'Magic is just science we don't yet understand'
-Chinese saying

'The truth can kill you or set you free'
-The Pretender

'Words are the supreme objects. They are minded things.'
-William Grass

'Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.'

'Nobody knows. Therefore you know as much as anyone.'
-Mac Gudgeon

'Intelligence recognises what has happened. Genius recognises what will happen.'

Remember: it's good to talk but it's better to type.
-muse(moose)

"Christ never found it hard to work as a threesome."

Most people feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

"so little questions to dicuss, so many answers to disprove"

'Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard Are sweeter.'
-John Keats

'Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise.'
-Thomas Gray

'There is always something more to discover. Seeking never ends.'
-Silver Dreams

'I love being a writer. It's the paperwork I can't stand'

'We make our future by the best use of the present'

'If you don't stand for somehting you will fall for everything'

'There is no right and wrong.
There is only fun and boring.'

You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one.

Mother told me to be good but she's been wrong before.

'Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver, the other gold'

'The exsistance of a majority logically implies a corresponding minority.'
-The Minority Report

Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

'When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.'

'Bores put you in a mental cemetery while you are still walking.'

'Music...can name the unnamable and communicate the unknowable'
-Leonard Bernstein (The Unanswered Question)

'Music is the sole art which evokes nostalgia for the future'
-Aaron Copland

'To have a large audience is not obscene.
To want one is.'
-Aaron Copland

'While deception requires secrecy, not all secrecy is meant to decieve.'
-Geoffrey Bocca

"As strange as it may seem I've just had a thought"
-Tim Fergerson

You have no idea how glad I am I didn't know that.

Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.

'There is nothing stable in the world - uproar's your only music.'
-John Keats

'You will never know where you're going till you know where you'e been'

It is impossible to make anything foolproof as fools are ingenious

'Evil is the stone on which good sharpens itself.'
- Dorothy Auchterlonie [Dorothy Green]

You can accept defeat. Or you can stare at it. Until Defeat blinks.

'Genius must be born, and never taught. '
-John Dryden (Epistle to Congreve)

It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac; you can always take something for it.

'To keep your friends treat them kindly; to kill them, treat them often.'

'Do not all charms fly At the mere touch of cold philosophy?'
-John Keats

'Science must begin with myths, and with the criticism of myths.'
-Sir Karl Popper

'Classic music is th'kind that we keep thinkin'll turn into a tune.'
-Frank Hubbard

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.

'Genius is nothing but a greater aptitude for patience.'
-Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon

"No author is a man of genius to his publisher."
-Heinich Heine

'When people cease to believe in God, they will believe in anything'

'My mind is already made up. Don't confuse me with facts!'

'Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after.'
-Oscar Wilde

"You get more with a gun and a smile than a smile alone."

'Eat fast - it's good to finish first at something'
-The Sandman

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
-John Lennon

'Staring out windows makes you seem poetic and complex'
-The Sandman

hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub.

"Respect is a rational process."
-McCoy ("The Galileo Seven", stardate 2822.3)

He who laughs last hasn't been told the terrible truth.

'Eating chocolate is like being in love without the aggravation.'

'This sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't.'
-Douglas Hofstadter

"Some people have no respect for age unless it's bottled."

"I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved."
-George Gobel

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of purge."

"For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill."
-R. Clopton

"Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other."

'Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.'

'We don't care how they do it in New York.'

"Conquest is easy. Control is not."
-Kirk ("Mirror, Mirror", stardate unknown)

"I love your outfit, does it come in your size?"
-QOTD

"There must be more to life than having everything."
-Maurice Sendak

The best man for the job is often a woman.

'Ice Cream cures all ills. Temporarily.'
-Seleznick's Theory of Holistic Medicine

'Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.'

'Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.'

'Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!'

"Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature."
-Rich Kulawiec

It was a brave man that ate the first oyster.

"Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood."
-Louise Beal

"Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money."
-Arthur Miller

We all dream of being the darling of everybody's darling.

modesty, n.:
Being comfortable that others will discover your greatness.

"Not all who own a harp are harpers."
-Marcus Terentius Varro

'Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.'

Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.

"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music."

'Everyone is more or less mad on one point.'
-Rudyard Kipling

'Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.'
-Robert Heinlein

"The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth."
-A. Camus

'Man's reach must exceed his grasp, for why else the heavens?'

'Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."'

"I am not an Economist. I am an honest man!"
-Paul McCracken

'We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge.'
-John Naisbitt (Megatrends)

'Support your local church or synagogue. Worship at Bank of America.'

"Lack of money is the root of all evil."
-George Bernard Shaw

"There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me."

"If you're uncertain of the answer do not ask the question."

"Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy."
-QOTD

'While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.'

"You can't have everything... where would you put it?"
- Steven Wright

'Never drink from your finger bowl -- it contains only water.'

'Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.'
-R. Geis

'You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.'

"I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life."

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-George Saunders (dying words)

"No, `Eureka' is Greek for `This bath is too hot.'"
-Dr. Who

"Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?"
-Patrick Sky

Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
-Snoopy

'He who is content with his lot probably has a lot.'

"Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in."
-Henry David Thoreau

'Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.'

'If it wasn't so warm out today, it would be cooler.'

My mother was a test tube; my father was a knife.
-Friday

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?"
-Princess Leia Organa

'A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.'

patent:
A method of publicizing inventions so others can copy them.

'Change is always best, though it has the worst intentions.'

"Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career."

"Love the sea? I dote upon it -- from the beach."

'The true value of something or someone depends entirely on what it is compared with.'

'God save the Queen because nothing will save the Govener General.'

Girls who throw themselves at men, are actually taking very careful aim.

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
-Paul Valery

'Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.'
-Pohl's law

'Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.'

"An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of code."
-an anonymous programmer

character density, n.:
The number of very weird people in the office.

'Stinginess with privileges is kindness in disguise.'
-Guide to VAX/VMS Security, Sep. 1984

"We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place."
-John Berryman

"The test of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts."
-Aldo Leopold

'I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning.'
-Plato

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."
-Albert Einstein

Once is happenstance,
Twice is coincidence,
Three times is enemy action.
-Auric Goldfinger

"The best laid plans of mice and men are usually about equal."
-Blair

'Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worthwhile.'
-Ambrose Bierce

"War is like love, it always finds a way."
-Bertolt Brecht ('Mother Courage')

Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

'The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.'
-Clifton Fadiman

A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.

'Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.'

May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

"Democracy is good. I say this because other systems are worse."
-Jawaharlal Nehru

"I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest."
-Alexandre Dumas

"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it."
-Emerson

"Better hope you get what you want before you stop wanting it."

'God, I ask for patience -- and I want it right now!'

'A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.'

"Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket."
-George Orwell

I demand the establishment of the government in its rightful home at Disneyland.

Neglect of duty does not cease, by repetition, to be neglect of duty.
-Napoleon

'The man who understands one woman is qualified to understand pretty well everything.'
-Yeats

"No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it."
-C. Schulz

"Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work."

"He was a modest, good-humored boy. It was Oxford that made him insufferable."

It is very difficult to prophesy, especially when it pertains to the future.

"I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."
-Oscar Wilde

'It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being right.'

"Can anyone remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce?"

transfer, n.:
A promotion you receive on the condition that you leave town.

"I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear."
-John Foreman

"I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise."
-Chauncey Depew

Minicomputer:
A computer that can be afforded on the budget of a middle-level manager.

'I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!'

"Love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself."
-Saint Exupery

'Absence makes the mind mistake what it remembers of matters of the heart.'

'Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal.'

"Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders."
-Nietzsche

'Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.'
-Daniel J. Boorstin

Aren't you glad you're not getting all the government you pay for now?

"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up."

'I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.'
-Neil Armstrong

"Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists."
-John Kenneth Galbraith

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.
-Folk saying

It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.

"In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion."
-Dow's Law

I know you're in search of yourself, I just haven't seen you anywhere.

'The moss on the tree does not fear the talons of the hawk.'

The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering.

"Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points."
-M. M. Johnston

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.
-Grelb's Reminder

Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.

court, n.:
A place where they dispense with justice.
-Arthur Train

"I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."
-Gilda Radner

"You can't evaluate a man by logic alone."
-McCoy ("I, Mudd", stardate 4513.3)

"The sun never sets on those who ride into it."
-RKO

'Perdidit antiquum litera prima sonum.'
-(In reference to Orion, formerly Urion)

Oui n'a plus qu'un moment a vivre
Na plus rien a dissimuler.
-Quinault (Atys)

'Dicebant mihi sodales si sepulchrum amicase visitarem
curas meas aliquantulum fore levatas.'
-Ebn Zalat

'Son coeur est un luth suspendu;
Sitot qu'on le touche il resonne.'
-De Beranger

'Television has raised writing to a new low.'
-Samiel Goldwyn (Hollywood film producer)

Learning is a treasure which accompanies its owner everywhere
-Chinese proverb

'When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.'
-Ralph Emerson

Beauregard's Law:
When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

'Non ha l'ottimo artista alcun concetto
Che un marmo solo non circonscriva'
-Michael Angelo

Criticise everything and praise nothing. Just hate everybody the same.

"Lots of people want to be schizophrenic. Why else is alcohol so popular?"

'Out of the mouths of babes comes half-digested food and dribble.'


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