Chapter six

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The deep secrets of bhakti. Somehow Jayananda knew the innermost secret of bhakti. It usually takes a jiva so long to get such a treasure. This is because it is so contrary to the nature of the material world. It is the essence of bhakti – unselfish love for Krishna and the spiritual master.

Krishnadasa Kaviraja Goswami explains how love and lust are as different as gold and iron. The gopis' love for Krishna is devoid of selfishness. Krishnadasa Kaviraja writes – “When the gopis see Lord Krishna they derive unbounded bliss, although they have no desire for such pleasure ... The gopis have no inclination for their own enjoyment, and yet their joy increases. That is indeed a contradiction.” Yes, this is a great enigma in the material world. We cannot fathom how a person can be happy unless he looks out for number one. It does not make any sense to us. It's an absurd equation to the materialist.

Try not to be happy

“What?” they say, “How can I be happy without a constant pursuit of bodily and mental gratification?” They may hear Mahaprabhu's mandate, na dhanam, na janam, na sundarim, from Sri Siksastakam, stanza four –

“O almighty Lord, I have no desire to accumulate wealth, nor do I desire beautiful women, nor do I want any number of followers. I only want Your causeless devotional service birth after birth.”

And they will say, “What is this madness? You people are crazy! What? No woman, no money, no circle of admirers – are you nuts?” What is day for the materialist is night for the transcendentalist, and vice-versa. But ... the Hare Krishnas have a secret formula for happiness, which is – just quit trying to be happy!! The more you try to be happy in this world ... just means more misery. Happiness comes on its own accord, as does misery, without separate endeavor. And real happiness comes when you stop trying to be happy, and chant Krishna's Names. Just glorify God and chant His Holy Names and forget yourself for a while, try to see our tiny lives in perspective of the vastness of the cosmos and the greatness of God. We ask everyone to try this formula and feel the results. There is a bumper sticker that says it all, “I feel so much better ... now that I've given up all hope.” This is our formula, that our hope has been misplaced in ordinary things, but it is a stickler to really understand and apply.

A lot of us understand this concept, but so many of us still linger on with petty selfish desires. That is why we are here in the material world. We are here because we harbor selfish desires, apart from Krishna. Now we know the philosophy and we try to become pure. If we were pure, really pure, then we would be what Srila Prabhupada describes as a pure devotee, or one who desires only Krishna's happiness, even if it means great incon­venience to the self.

Come on ... let's 'fess up. Speaking for myself, at least, there are so many desires that linger back there in the cobwebs of the mind. What to speak of the back of the mind, more like ALL OVER the mind! Working for Krishna and His jivas should be the ticket, but somehow I still reserve concern for the self, thinking that the material ego and body have their needs, and so forth. Attachments are there, be it home and hearth, or it may just be a nice wristwatch, or it may be your favorite dhoti. Or else it's fame and a little recognition now and then. It's all material ego attachment and does not fit into the penultimate equation of “Krishna's happiness is my desire,” or “Srila Prabhupada's order is my only goal.”

The realization of this may be there in the theoretical realm, but practical application ... well, that is another thing. That is where Jayananda was light years ahead of the pack. He was not on the theoretical platform, rather he was doing it every waking (and perhaps sleeping as well) moment of his day – kirtaniya sada hari. This was his marvel of a life, one that is nearly impossible to imitate, and one that is very hard to understand, even for the seasoned bhaktas.

Jayananda did this so spontaneously and effortlessly. He was quite an amazing man. He always worked and served for the sake of others because he knew that all other souls were parts of Krishna, Krishna was always there in their hearts, and that is how we serve our Gurudeva and Krishna – by serving His parts and parcels. I will tell some stories now which will illustrate the compassion of Jayananda and how he always worked for the benefit of others.

Jayananda turns negative to positive

Jayananda would always turn a weird situation into doing benefit for the other person. Like the Fisherman's Wharf episode, when the lobster-murder stand people threw hot and stinky fish water at the devotees' feet as they went by on hari-nama. I would have gotten into a fight with them, like yelling and shaking fists, but Jayananda was in control of his senses and approached them with cookies and said, “Thanks for doing such a nice service of cleaning the sidewalk.” This genuinely affected them. Similarly, he was always trying to give prasadam to others, like visitors of the temple, or taking out extra prasadam to the streets for the bums, and so forth. He was found to be cooking prasad for drunks in a bar. He was always asking wandering hippies to help with the carts, not just to get their labor, but to engage them in service for their benefit, knowing that even a little service brings transcendental eternal blessing.

The birthday cake

One day I was at the Ratha cart site in San Francisco, and it was sort of a long and lonely day. It was Jayananda's birthday, and Viharini Dasi had baked a cake with frosting for Jayananda. She brought it to the site and left it in my trust until Jayananda returned. Well, it was a long time, many hours, in fact it seemed like all day long until Jayananda got there. Meanwhile ... I was lusting over this cake all day long. I was thinking, “Oh boy, does that cake look good!” (My rascal mind got the better of me – lusting over Jayananda's cake before he even got there!) I was thinking, “What a party we're going to have when Jayananda gets here!! Yeah, we're really going to chow down!! And I am going to scarf down a piece of that cake – oh boy – maybe TWO pieces of that scrumptious, beautiful delectable cake, Jaya, Hari-bol!!” I still had enough restraint to wait ... but it took so long, and I was meditating on it for so long.

Well ... finally Jayananda got there, and some other devotees came, too. And I was really ready to reveal the surprise and start the party. My party-animal mode was in full bloom. As it started, Jayananda saw the cake and was surprised, and my mouth was watering. But – by some quirk of cruel fate – there appeared a little kid on the scene. He was some neighborhood kid. How he found out, I don't know. He just stood there.

Well, Jayananda looked at him and then he started to serve the cake. We had no knife or anything, and I couldn't believe it but Jayananda took a toothbrush and used the handle of it to cut the cake (after first wiping it on his pants). As you might have guessed, the first piece went to the little kid, whose eyes opened wide as a big smile crossed his face.

“Okay, now we're going to party,” my lusty mind thought. Wrong. Hardly a moment went by, when lo and behold, the second little kid appeared with hand extended. Second piece fell into his hand. By now, rumor had spread like wildfire, and I could see a stream of little kids pouring out of the apartments and running down the sidewalk to the cart site. Apprehension gripped my mind with terrible thoughts, “Was there to be enough?” And Jayananda just kept on serving the kids, one after another. The cake was disappearing before my bulging eyes. My mind was screaming, “What are you doing, dear Prabhu, you are giving it all away!!” But I tried to hide my shameless emotions by forcing a straight face and a weak smile. But Jayananda could see through all that.

This is the difference between a dirty heart and a pure heart. My impure mind could only think of how “I” could enjoy this cake, how “I” could selfishly enjoy. And the mentality of a pure heart, a pure mind – Jayananda's mind – he was just thinking, “How can I serve others with the Lord's mercy, prasadam? And if they take prasadam, then they will have begun their devotional service!” This was Jayananda's mercy to others. His meditation was always how to benefit others with the mercy.

So Jayananda stopped for a moment to appreciate that the cake was made for him, and then he took a sizable crumb, the size of half my thumb, and popped it into his mouth. Then he looked at my face and read my miserable mind, which I tried to hide. He was compassionate to me, too, and finally gave me a piece. I was grateful and was trying to hide my despondency over how my plan was foiled. After it was all gone, and the kids all disappeared, Jayananda looked at me and smiled and said, “You know, the Bhagavatam says that we should feed the people with sumptuous prasadam.” I feigned weak acceptance. You know, he just did things for the benefit of others. That's the way he was.

The funky pants

There was another time at the Ratha cart site, it was a normal day, and Jayananda appeared on the scene. He had been out going around to different stores getting supplies. Somehow, somebody had given him a donation of a box full of white pants. I looked at the donation, and Jayananda explained how this old lady gave him the pants. They were all stuck together, and we peeled one off the top. These pants were like some kind of work pants that workers would use in an institutional laundry, like in the basement of a hospital or something. Jayananda held it up to the light, and it was starched stiff, just a thin sheet of starched white cloth that was smashed or ironed down into a pancake. Probably went through some huge steamroller. I felt it in my hands. My rascal mind was scoffing, “Yeah, some donation, sure! These pants are really funky, and ugly, and stiff, and uncomfortable. Well, I wouldn't be caught dead in them!” I thought I would look weird in them, and I was unappreciative of this “weird” donation. “Just trying to get rid of junk,” I thought.

But I could soon see how Jayananda's mind worked. He was thinking that it was a sincere donation, and unless somebody “used” the donation, then the effect would not be merited to the donor. He was only thinking of the old lady. He was only thinking of her pious merit earned by donating something to the Vaishnavas, and how it might go in vain. Therefore, he thought, “somebody” is going to have to wear the pants! And he did. He put on a pair. And I was right. They looked real funky and stiff and uncomfortable. And Jayananda didn't look so comfortable in them, and they weren't long enough. But he did it anyway, because when all is said and done, he only did things for the benefit of others. I think that was the only time he wore them.

His service was his relationship with Srila Prabhupada

Jayananda did things only for others' benefit, for the benefit of Krishna's jivas, parts and parcels, and that service also included his spiritual master, Srila Prabhupada. Jayananda's service, his daily activities, his relationship with Srila Prabhupada, were only for the benefit of his beloved master. There were no business deals or trying to “enjoy” the spiritual master in Jayananda's devotion. He was willing to undergo so many inconveniences for Prabhupada.

It was the summer of '75, and we were hustling like anything, getting ready for Ratha-yatra and the coming of Srila Prabhupada. We all greeted Srila Prabhupada at the Frisco airport, and Jayananda was there with an umbrella and bouquet for him. There is a very nice photo of this in the Vyasa Puja book for '97. You can look at the photo and see the person holding the umbrella over Prabhupada, with flowers in his hands for Prabhupada, but can't see the person's face. One could notice that this person wore a cuffed white shirt, like a business shirt. Jayananda didn't even have a decent kurta to wear to the airport, and he wore this dress-type shirt along with his dhoti. But he looked good in it; it was totally him, Jayananda. And Prabhupada was smiling so wonderfully. You could see the relationship, the master and the servant, and how Prabhupada was happy to be with his dear servant, Jayananda.

Then we took Srila Prabhupada back to his room at the Berkeley temple. It was like a beehive, hundreds of devotees madly buzzing around, running here and there, back and forth. My godbrother, Tapanpuja, said it so nicely about Srila Prabhupada coming to a temple: it's like accidentally kicking an anthill and the ants are madly scrambling all over. That is what it was like when Prabhupada came to the airport and the temple. Devotees running all over madly, out of love for Prabhupada, ready to serve his slightest command.

Nectar hounds

So many devotees had come from all over the country for Srila Prabhupada and Frisco Ratha-yatra, including Vishnujana Swami and Tamal Krishna Goswami and the bus of Their Lordships Sri Sri Radha-Damodara, along with many other servitors. Everybody was ready to do anything just to get into Srila Prabhupada's room, to bask in his glory, to get a ray of special mercy, to catch a glance, to see a facial expression, to behold the slightest sublime gesture of His Divine Grace.

Everyone was a nectar hound, as far as they could push it. Mostly the senior devotees could remain in Prabhupada's room for a long time, and a few other lucky ones. But ... there was a blatant non-presence, someone was very conspicuous by his absence – Jayananda was not there, hardly at all. Finally Srila Prabhupada articulated his concern, “Where is Jayananda?”

I was sent from Berkeley to Frisco carrying this question respectfully on my head. Arriving at the Ratha site, there was Jayananda working hard. I relayed the message to him that Prabhupada was missing him, and why did he not come around to the room where Prabhupada stayed. Jayananda's face winced, and he looked down and said with very deep conviction, “No ... I'm too fallen ... my relationship with my spiritual master ... is through my service!” He went back to work. He knew that pulling off this Ratha-yatra in grand style was his service, and this was more important then personally being in the room with the master whom he served and loved so much. Jayananda was willing to forego any kind of “spiritual happiness” in order to serve his master, solely for the benefit of his master. Actually, later he did dutifully report to Srila Prabhupada's room.

Transcendental lies, only for the benefit of others

Next is a personal story. It took me a long time, like 20 years, to understand this. It's hard to explain, but I can't help trying to talk about it. I could never figure out why Jayananda was saying these little things to me, like when we were alone at the Ratha site or in the red truck. He always made these little confessions to me, saying how he had these defects and all.

I never believed him for one moment. I knew that he was saying these things out of humility. I knew they were all transcendental lies. But I later wondered why. Now I sort of know why. He said it for me. Because he never – never ever – he never did anything, he never said anything ... that was not for the benefit of others. It was always for other's benefit. That time it was for my benefit – I know that now.

Usually a person will talk about himself, and his problems, because he is thinking of himself. That was not the case with Jayananda and these things he said. It was not like him to meditate on himself and his own problems. He was much too busy to think about those things. He was beyond that kind of self-absorption. So why did he make these little confessions? He was saying it for my sake. He could see me as I was, and where I was at. He somehow knew that I “wasn't out of the woods yet,” no, not by a longshot. Sure, I was on the path, I was in Lord Chaitanya's merciful Movement, with the ocean of mercy falling down on me, Srila Prabhupada's mercy. But I was not out of the woods yet. I had more troubles to weather, because I had faults and defects to cope with, things that took time. A lot of time, in fact. Jayananda seemed to know that, and it was like he was saying, “Don't feel so bad, Bhakta Tom, sure, you might have some more time of purification to go through, but just look at me, just see! I've got defects, too! Don't feel so bad!”

A great person, in the transcendental realm, does not ever make others feel like they are lower, and that he is higher than them. No, a great personality like Jayananda Prabhu will rather do the opposite – he will always make others feel like he himself is fallen, like he is lower and less fortunate than others. This was his greatness, this was how Jayananda Thakur always did everything ... only for the benefit of others.

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Jayanandanugas – lower-than-straw devotees

give tribute to Jayananda Thakur

I remember the wonderful Jayananda being so fatherly, making sure the women daily got either fresh bunches of parsley on their plates in the morning, or raisins, for iron. And I remember him hanging around the flowers a lot. And one time we went on a family outing, some of us, in a big old box van I think, to Nara-narayana's land a bit north, and on the way back Jayananda spotted a persimmon tree. Well, Jayananda got out and offered that whole tree, so that anyone who came by would benefit – that was typical of him, always thinking of others, and always taking creative, unconventional means to spread the mercy around. He and the boys got back in the van and presented us with a huge brown bag full of the plumpest juiciest persimmons – my first taste of those fruits – and we just feasted all the way home. He was such a fun kind of person. – Jaya Radhe Dasi

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I traveled with Jayananda for about six months in the Radha-Damodara bus. I loved him well. He was like the big brother I never had growing up. He woke me up every morning by touching my feet and singing “jiv jago, jiv jago, gaura-chanda bole” – Wake up sleeping soul. Often he sang it very loudly accompanyed by drum, kartals and even a harmonium one time when I was deep in maya. He always displayed great humility and gratitude towards Srila Praphupada, and he bestowed upon this young bhakta great mercy and kindness. – Vyasasana Dasa

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Hari-bol, Vishoka Dasa. So many are bereft of good association with those who have lived only for the glory of the servants of Sri Govinda. I myself am bereft too, yet when you remind me always of Sriman Jayananda Thakur, I am reeled back in, knowing fully well of Srila Prabhupada's influence on his “bonafide” disciples. Jayananda Dasa was content, and HAPPY, as humble servant. He never had desires to be anything else. He hated the fact that his days were numbered, not because he feared death of the body, just that his service would be tempo­rarily disrupted, that he would not get to the 1977 Ratha-yatra, knowing that this was his sweet service to his Guru Maharaja. Sriman Jayananda Thakur, who did not spend much time in erudite discussions or mental speculation, taught nevertheless by his example. Simple servitude to the desires of his Guru Maharaja, one-tracked purpose was his example, and this speaks volumes of philosophy that will bring us back home, to him, his Guru, his Gauranga. – Hari-bol, Mahaksha Dasa

  to Chapter 7

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