Memories of Srila Prabhupada
* Dinadayadri Dasi's memories
* Experiences with Srila Prabhupada- Visoka dasa
* Memories of Srila Prabhupada- Locanananda dasa
Eternal Reality
by Dinadayadri Dasi
Dearest
prabhus,
A
thousands thanks to our dear godsister Jayaradhe dasi for her beautiful
description
of the Radhastami festival that she attended at New Jagannatha
Puri
(Berkeley, CA). Please, Jayaradhe prabhu, don't ever doubt your ability
to
transmit to others the glories of Krsna Consciousness that you have
experienced
-- you are coming through loud and clear! And please don't
consider
that the genuine devotional feelings you experience are "sahajiya"
or
not "real." I understand your shyness about expressing them,
for fear
others
will misunderstand, but I wish devotees would share these experiences
more often because we all have had them from time to time and they serve
to confirm that Krsna Consciousness is indeed the reality, whereas the
phantasmagoria of our material lives are but fleeting distractions only.
Regarding
appreciating the beautiful appearance of the Deities: one time in
Bombay
sometime around 1971, the pujari Tunga Bhadra dasi had dressed the
Deities in a new set of dresses she had made and when Srila Prabhupada
saw Them he was very, very pleased, especially with how beautiful
Srimate Radharani
looked. At that time, His Divine Grace told Tunga Bhadra, "Always
make Radharani more beautiful than Krsna. Then He will be attracted to
Her and He will never go away."
One
thing Jayaradhe said in her description of Radhastami brought back a
very sweet memory of my own. Jayaradhe said, "I felt Her sweet
kindness more than ever before, as if She mercifully made it easier to
perceive this..." I was sent to India in the second wave of
devotees to go there in 1971. We had been working very hard in
preparation for the first big Delhi pandal festival, where many
important Indian government officials were invited to be guest speakers.
I was nearly beside myself with excitement when Srila Prabhupada arrived
in Delhi for the festival as this was the first time I had seen Srila
Prabhupada in India, his native place where he seemed exceptionally
relaxed and "at home." There were only a handful of devotees
in India at that time and we were working and living under very crude
conditions to say the least, sometimes "camping" on roofs of
houses or in tents, and Srila Prabhupada benedicted
us with a great deal of his very loving personal association and mercy,
as if in reward for the austerities he knew we were suffering on his
behalf. So when Srila Prabhupada first arrived in Delhi, he invited us
all into his room for a wonderful darshan where he was lounging back in
a very relaxed manner on his cushion (no big vyasasana to set him
apart), and he was laughing and joking about how he had just come from
Calcutta and that "the milk in Calcutta is finished" (at that
time it was very difficult to procure cow's milk and oftentimes it was
cut with water and chalk powder). I was feeling so unworthy to be
present in this amazing entourage with Lord Krsna's pure devotee in the
very land of the Lord's divine appearance that I could barely bring
myself to look upon Srila Prabhupada's beautiful face. I had to begin by
first looking at his lotus feet and then gradually working my way up.
His effulgence in this informal setting was so intense as to be
practically blinding. So even when I got the courage to take a peek at
his lotus face, I was forced to look away quickly as it was almost too
much for my grossly contaminated senses to bear. So I was sitting there,
glancing up and down at my beloved spiritual master in complete awe at
my undeserved great good fortune, when all of a sudden with each glance
Srila Prabhupada's countenance began transforming itself into a creature
of the most otherworldly beauty that I can scarcely describe it. There
are really no words in the English language to do justice to the
breathtaking beauty Srila Prabhupada was displaying at that moment. It
was as if he were "mercifully making it easier to perceive
this," just as Jayaradhe prabhu said of her experience with Srimate
Radharani in Berkeley. His appearance was of a much more youthful being
than Srila Prabhupada's supposed chronological age, neither male nor
female, with very dark luminous eyes that extended almost around the
side of his head, and his lips were a gorgeous reddish color that I have
never seen before or since. He was glancing at all the devotees with so
much love that it was practically piercing like arrows and literally
made me swoon, and I thought I would faint. Tears of gratitude sprang
uncontrollably from my eyes as I mentally offered prayers of thanks to
Lord Krsna for bringing me to the lotus feet of this most amazing being
for shelter. Srila Prabhupada, my most beloved spiritual master, in
remembering you
that day I have no desire but to see you again, for that is my eternal
reality.
Your
most unworthy servant,
Dinadayadri
dasi
Experiences with Srila Prabhupada by Vishoka dasa
excerpts from coming Jayananda book
Meeting Srila Prabhupada at the San Francisco airport, 1975
It
was the summer of ‘75, and we were hustling like anything, getting ready
for Ratha-yatra and the coming of Srila Prabhupada. We all greeted Srila
Prabhupada at the Frisco airport, and Jayananda was there with an umbrella
and bouquet for him. There is a very nice photo of this in the Vyasa
Puja book for '97. You can look at the photo and see the person
holding the umbrella over Prabhupada, with flowers in his hands for
Prabhupada, but can't see the person's face. One could notice that this
person wore a cuffed white shirt, like a business shirt. Jayananda didn't
even have a decent kurta to wear to the airport, and he wore this
dress-type shirt along with his dhoti. But he looked good in it; it
was totally him, Jayananda. And Prabhupada was smiling so wonderfully. You
could see the relationship, the master and the servant, and how Prabhupada
was happy to be with his dear servant, Jayananda.
At
the 1975 San Francisco Ratha-yatra-
The
next day we were having the parade and Srila Prabhupada got out of his car
to ride on Subhadra's cart. As he was walking toward the cart, he did a
180 degree turnaround and looked directly into my eyes. There were
hundreds of people there, but he seemed to look right into my eyes alone.
It was as if he was saying, “Yes, I know you're here.” I've heard many
stories like this from other devotees. We all had this similar experience
with Srila Prabhupada, sort of like how Krishna was with all the gopis but
each gopi thought He was with her alone. It is a mystical thing,
and since other devotees have told me the same thing, I suppose I was not
delirious to think that it actually happened to me.
The
real initiation
The
best moment was when Srila Prabhupada was giving the lecture from the
platform. There were thousands of people and I could not even get close to
the stage, and I could not see Srila Prabhupada. But while listening to
the lecture, every word I heard penetrated my heart very clearly and
deeply, and it was an unusual time of aural reception for me. Every word
from Srila Prabhupada was very profound to me. It was so heavy and
wonderful that I could not stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. It
was a true moment of full consciousness, and I truly understood the nectar
words of my spiritual master at that time. I feel that this was my actual
initiation, rather than at the ceremony. As they say, divya-jnana
is injected into the heart of the disciple by the bonafide spiritual
master, and that is initiation.
Jayananda
forgot to tell me
It
was the summer of '75, and a bunch of us were up for initiation. Bhakta
Dasa and Jayananda and Bahulasva Dasa were acting as temple presidents. I
kept waiting for Bhakta Dasa or Jayananda to tell me that I was getting
initiated, but they didn't. I was with Bhakta Dasa for an hour or so the
night before Ratha-yatra, and I expected him to tell me about the
initiations the next day and how I was a candidate, but he never said
anything. Neither did Jayananda. And so I was thinking that I wasn't
getting initiated.
Then
we had the festival, and when evening came I did my night watch to guard
the Ratha carts. Consequently I was sleeping in the next morning. I was
suddenly awakened by Jayananda, who exclaimed, “Oh Bhakta Tom, I'm so
sorry, I forgot to tell you – you were supposed to get initiated this
morning. I'm sorry, you missed it. But don't worry, Srila Prabhupada wants
to see you in his room.” I said that I thought I wasn't going to get
initiated, and Jayananda said how I was “humility personified,” which
was his usual way of praising other devotees.
Tooting
my horn
So
I went to Berkeley and got to go into Srila Prabhupada's room and be alone
with him for a minute. This is another tall tale, but I was paying my
obeisances and while reciting the pranam prayers, I happened to
glance from the corner of my eye at Srila Prabhupada and saw a bright glow
all about him. Blinding glow in fact. I've been told in retrospect that
auras are easier to see from a peripheral angle of vision. Oh well, this
is another story like the one in Vaiyasaki's book, Radha-Damodara
Vilasa, with Vishnujana Swami telling of how Srila Prabhupada's room
was full of blinding light. But since we've all heard stories in ISKCON
even more amazing than this (how tears shot out from Srila Prabhupada's
eyes when he was singing Jaya Radha Madhava, some devotees getting
sprinkled by these teardrops several feet away, and how some devotees saw
him floating down some stairs, his feet not touching the stairs, and so
on) then I see no harm in telling what I saw. Then I got my beads and my
name of Vishoka Dasa.
Before
I entered the room, I was thinking of how the disciple should always feel
a fool before the spiritual master. I had no problem feeling the fool. But
... there was a vestige of pride in my heart. It was like I was thinking,
“Well here I am – I'm getting initiated by the greatest acharya
that was ever on the planet.” Even though this was philosophically
correct, I was feeling unnecessary pride in my heart, and I was mentally
tooting my own horn, so to speak. Srila Prabhupada looked at me and saw
right through me and immediately detected the pride. Srila Prabhupada
could read others' minds. He gave me a hard look and a sarcastic smile
that cut me to the quick, totally devastating my petty pride. Although I
was raised in Kansas, and although I never thought of myself as a hick,
always thinking I was a city slicker – I had only one thought in my mind
at that time, “I am just a hick from Kansas ... and that is all I am ...
nothing more.” It was as if Srila Prabhupada projected this humbling
thought into my brain.
Experiences in Los Angeles
Srila
Prabhupada talks to Krishna
Here
is another far-out mystical story. Actually, it's not so mystical for one
who is a resident of the spiritual world, where it's a normal everyday
affair to see devotees talking to Krishna. For Srila Prabhupada, it's a
normal thing to do ... but down here, amongst us earthlings, it's a rare
sight to see Krishna's pure devotee talking to Him in His Deity form. For
one who's bankrupt in faith, the Deity appears as a statue, and actually
this perception is hellish, naraka. As Krishna says, “For the
doubting soul, there is happiness neither in this world or the next.”
But for one who is stocked up in faith, and who hears from Krishna's pure
devotee, especially of the many stories of Deities – like how the Sakshi
Gopal Deity walked thousands of miles to bear witness for the reputation
of His devotee; and how Lord Chaitanya saw Krishna standing in threefold
bending form with a flute within the Deity of Lord Jagannatha; and in Los
Angeles, how Lord Balarama would jump off the altar when pujaris
were late, and so many other stories – then such faithful devotees see
the Deity as directly the son of Nanda Maharaja. Just as our dear friend
Sriman Kusha-kratha Dasa, our modern-day Vaishnava poet, who dreams in
Sanskrit and composes and translates thousands of verses in glorification
of Sri Radha-Krishna, says in his Sri Sri Radha-Mukunda-Stava –
“I worship glorious-limbed Sri Sri Radha-Mukunda, who, pretending to be
stone statues, truly stand, silent and unmoving by Their wish, in many
temples in this world.”
So,
I was fortunate to see such an exchange of love between Krishna and His
pure devotee, Srila Prabhupada. I was in the temple room in Los Angeles
when Srila Prabhupada arrived from the airport, and I was in such an angle
of vision to see him say a few quick words to Sri Sri
Rukmini-Dwarakadhisha. I felt fortunate on one hand, and on the other hand
felt like I trespassed into confidential territory. Still, it was a maha
moment for me, to see how Krishna comes in His archa-vigraha form
and converses with His own pure devotee, Srila Prabhupada. When we see the
Krishna Vision slide show and we hear Krishna Prema Prabhu's
wonderful recording of the many Holy Names of Deities from around the
world, we become awestruck to realize how Krishna agrees to appear
hundreds of times, all over the world, all for the sake of His pure
devotee, Srila Prabhupada.
Be
quiet and listen
Hearing
from our spiritual master is the most important process of devotional
service. This was vividly illustrated in another experience I had in Srila
Prabhupada's presence. We were all on a walk with Srila Prabhupada on
Watseka Avenue in Los Angeles, California, across the street from the
temple. A major thing I remember was the profound silence around Srila
Prabhupada. Usually on Watseka Avenue, there's always a great din in the
air, like babies crying in the background, or shouts of “hari-bol,”
or devotees talking everywhere. But in the presence of Srila Prabhupada
there was an absolute silence around the sidewalk. It was as if the
Supersoul in everyone's hearts was telling us all to just be quiet and
listen to the divine master. Adults, kids, insects, birds and animals were
all silent in his divine presence. And we were all listening for the
nectar from his lotus lips.
your servant, Visoka dasa - surf on to Jayananda.com
Remembering Srila Prabhupada
I always consider myself very fortunate to be living in New York
because it is so easy to perceive Srila Prabhupada's transcendental
presence here. On Fridays I do administrative work for the Doughnut
Plant in the Lower East Side. Mark Isreal, the doughnut man, using
his grandfather's recipe, has rolled out what has been called the
best doughnut in the country. Although he does not advertise that he
is a devotee, the doughnuts are prepared with love and devotion, and
are offered daily to Lord Jagannath.
To get to the Doughnut Plant, I have to walk through the neighborhood
where Srila Prabhupada lived before opening his first center at 26
Second Avenue. The subway stops near Grand and Bowery where Srila
Prabhupada did his banking at First National City Bank. Just down the
street we find 94 Bowery where he lived in an artist's loft on the
fourth floor, with no elevator. When I stand in front of that
building I remember how he used to have to step over drunks lying in
his doorway and then walk up four flights to his apartment. I do not
know how it was possible for him to do that at age seventy because I
could not do it today at age 53. People in the neighborhood still
remember him with great affection.
Srila Prabhupada said that he had been loitering in NYC for six
months when the appearance day of Lord Caitanya came in 1966. He
thought of how his godbrothers were all assembled in Vrndavana and
Mayapur to celebrate and how he was struggling alone in New York
City. Remembering that he was here to fulfill the order of his
spiritual master, he did not really feel alone because he was not
separated from his Guru Maharaja even for a moment.
We were not only separated from Srila Prabhupada by his physical
disappearance, which is already cause for lamentation, but we have
had to witness the deterioration of his institution, which was his
hope for the future. I moved out of the Brooklyn temple in 1998,
after learning about the abuse that children had suffered within
Iskcon, of the offenses that were being committed against Srila
Prabhupada's personal associates, and about how so many devotees were
being kicked out because they would not support the GBC's deviations
from Srila Prabhupada's instructions. This news was so painful to me
that I had to go into seclusion. I could not come to grips with the
fact that so many lives had been shattered by self-serving
mismanagement and poor leadership, and that Srila Prabhupada's hope
for the future had also been shattered.
Now there appears to be new hope. This assembly of devotees is one
indication that a revival of Srila Prabhupada's mission is in the
making. If each of us tries to bring in a few more sincere vaisnavas,
we will become a force. If that force represents the will of the
spiritual master, it will bring about positive change in the lives of
the council's members as well as in the general devotee population.
If the truth is known to devotees in general and if the leaders do
not embrace it, they can no longer lead because they will not be able
to command respect. That is the dynamic of leadership in any
organization, especially in a spiritual movement. The leader must be
exemplary or no one will follow, and that is one lesson Srila
Prabhupada taught by his personal example. We agreed to serve him
at his request, to help him execute the order of his spiritual
master, and we did this out of love. That love is still there, just
as fire is within the match, and good association will ignite it.
Your servant, Locanananda dasa
|
