Descend into my mind;

[Data[Decay[Optix[Noize]

• 
  My name is Tiffany (As I'm sure you know). I was born in Ft Laud Florida on Feb. 18, 1981. I'm in Spokane, Washington State right now. I really like it here...diff people diff scenery. I do miss the beaches...that's bewcause I love the beach at night...windy night. On here I go by the nickname Vix. In IRL usually just Tiff. I got the nickname from an old handle/SN that included Vixen in it. I've had the internet since 'the end of '97. I think vixen fits me at times. However I've been an introverted, possibly eccentric hehe(depends on what you see as that) soul all of my life. I have an angst side, I guess most do anyway. I have a mopey side also. I am Mostly irish, German, Scottish, English and Russian(from what I do know). Maybe even others.
  [I've lived in] South Florida all of my life, until end of '03. Vacationing times prior were us the East coast (but not as far as Maine) The only other country I have been to is Canada. I miss the Southern beaches. I loved the mountains, waterfalls and forests that I've seen up north. I have finally seen snow last Dec. '01. I want to travel the world. I was born with strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. My eyes turned green when I was three. I've always been on the tall side. Not too tall, but taller than most females and somtimes males. my hair is darker now...more red, Some say it's strawberry blond, I say red.
  
  [I have been through a lot of shit lately.] I'm currently dealing with depression, am feeling better...slowly.
  
  [Well, I'm a pretty shy person in general.] I don't hate it all to well. I actually enjoy keeping to myself at times. That however had its bad part. Hey I'm sure you know how the shy kid gets treated. People tease to higher their self esteem. Well, I won't go into that. I'm not as shy as I used to be. You'd probably never notice this on here, however. Unless you've see my lack of convo. skills in a chat. It used to be where I'd have to know a person a very long time to have a decent conversation. All in all I'm not a people person. I believe people are the fragile earth's virus. We are the only one that can prevent it's downfall, unfortunately there's too many 'idiots'. We will just breed until there's no more food, the ice caps will melt(if that would really affect us as said so) or etc. Mother earth/Gaia will cleanse herself in time!
  
  [It seems as though people take me very serious.] I'm not that serious of a person believe me to be. If I was I would have 'offed myself a long time ago. Even if I didn't know much of the afterlife. I am very serious about serious things, so don't worry. I have an absurd side, these seems to keep me calm...from self destruction. I'm not a materialistic person.
  
  [I kind of feel alone in this life.] Well, then again I pretty much am. I've lost most of my loved ones. The sad thing is that they were the most important to me. As to say I have lost my mother and father. I recently lost my mother in Jan '01. My grandfather was the only real father I had. As for my father he was here but not very close. Not to say I had a bad childhood. Mine was pretty good. Any man can fuck and make a kid but not every man can be a father and nurture his child(ren). Yeah that kind of shy me away from wanting children. Sometimes I just want to end it all. As Ive mentioned before I'm in this life for not me but others now. I'm moving time for a new beginning!<P>
  As for ...[friendships/loves] I look for a person with at least the same interests as me. It also helps a lot of course if they have been through the same things I have. That feeling makes me more comfortable and open with the person. Intelligence is one of the main factors that I look for. I like an open-minded person with a good sense of humor. A person that is deep but easy to talk to is also nice. One that won't cheat! Appearance comes near last when looking for a love. Well, I at least have to have some kind of attraction to them physically. A romantic person is a big turn on. I have been known to attract to opposites of me, but that's in friendships. As for starting a conversation, the person has to help out. This is because I'm still on the shy side. If they act content I usually shy away. I'm open about everything. Hmm I really have no secrets that I can think of. Also see below...<P>
  [Sexuality/Relationships]
  I am mostly straight, have been known to swing bi sometimes. I like BDSM, as well as other fetishes.
  
  Hmm lets see, [my style]. I go for that Alternative Lifestyle look. I feel it fits my personality most. I also feel it has freedom. Most people mistake me as a Punk or Goth. I am neither of those. If you'd want to classify me I'd say go for Rivethead. Conservative looks are just...boring? My wardrobe consist mainly of black. I like other colors though if they're dark. I'd guess I'd like to wear some colors...'cept pink and yellow. I've been trying to use some colors-it's just soo hard to find what fits me best. I'm growing to like wearing jeans or shorts. It's so different living up north now. I'm more of a skirt grrrl. I like to wear vinyl-but of course can't wear it all the time. I always wear boots or some cute mary janes, but I do have sneakers for when I exercise etc. Corsets are nice, I'd like to have some. I like long skirts also. Fishnets are a personal fav. I try to dress sexy too. I wear dog collars-or used to a lot, spikes and my gummies. Mmmm gummies. I like silver jewelry. I have had one rings that I'd never take off-lost my other. I like electrical tape. As for makeup I usually wear mascara and lip gloss. Sometimes I'll wear dark lipstick but mostly lip gloss (deep red, purple and my old TM Blue Lipstick-as a teen, eye shadow-rarely and eyeliner). Right now I just have one piercing besides my three in my ears. I used to have my eyebrow ring. It was tearing-rejecting out and causing too many infections. I have two tattoos, a Celtic Trinity and a Horoscope cusp/ Aqua/Picies: on right inside arm
  and right back
  

  My hair is medium strawberryblond/red and growing out. I'm currently looking for some new style options(that are non yuppy/trendy)... I have found a few things to go with so far. Anyone have advice!?

• As for my [catharsis]....hobbies..etc: I try to find things that occupy my mind. I'm a deep thinker, or as so I've been told. I love to draw, paint(water-colors), and produce compositions. Instillations are also part of my interest. I'd have to say surreal art is my fav. Though Van Gogh is one of my fav artists. I like medieval and futurist art also. I've been into art since I was about three years old. As most children are with art, but I stayed with it. My grandmother would sit down for hours and draw with me. I have a weird wondering imagination, so there's no telling what I will come up with. Music is also a big part of my life. I've always had a thing for weird sound being music, Right now I'm attempting some music. I have keyboards, an organ, a crappy guitar, and synth software. Music usually helps me through my depression. Industrial music is a favorite of mine. Though I can tolerate most any music in the rock genre, as well as some classical and electronic(part of non rock like style). I was raised on classic rock, some punk and new wave too. I love to read. I can just sit for hours and do it, never bothers me. Some of my fav topics include: the paranormal, physics,Ancient Egypt, religons, politics, martial arts, culture and racial, serial killers-back when I was going to go into Forensics-, health from mind-body-soul,anarchism-from both sides-good and bad, sci-fi, physics, metaphysics,Horror and much more. As for physics I have studied a lot on Qantum Mech, even though I don't know math all to well. My love for studying the paranormal came about at a young age. I'm not sure directly how..it might have been from watching Unsoloved Mysteries, that was featuring Big Foot. It's funny how I end up in the Northwest. I am big on Animal Rights(you will see below;) ) I do not believe in harming an animal in anyway. This includes eating them. I enjoy comedy movies the most I'd have to say. I also like sci-fi and horror. My fav. Horror movie is Hellraiser(1). I don't smoke or do drugs. Well, I'm not totally innocent. I have tried a few drugs. Hmm lets see I've done pot, pain pills and and other stuff. I'm sober and have been that way for a while now. I don't drink that much. When I do I do it enough to feel good, but also know what I am doing. I like to meet new people...I guess. I'm not much a people person go figure. It's that human need for affection. As you can tell a catharsis of mine is going on the net. I like to surf this web, chat and make pages. I am uber cyber nerrrdly. Lately, I've studied martial arts and religions such as Hindu. Right now my biggest interest is Tai-chi.
  
  A big interest of mine would be [Animal Rights/Veganism/Vegan:] I've never really liked eating beef or pork. Chicken was the only meat I cared for. Though I didn't really enjoy eating it. I have been veggie for many years now. I'm Vegetarian, eat fish sometimes. I don't believe in animal torture...means whether it's as testing until it's dead and hunting. I mainly don't eat meat because an animal suffered. Believe it or not they have feelings. Would you eat slaughter you/a dog or cat...even child? If we're such an advanced species why do we have to destroy life. Oh yeah some argue they suffer in the wild...but that's not for very long. These animals bred for food suffer their whole lives in tiny cages. They never experience a life, as they would in the wild. They never had a chance to get away from the hunter. Most of them are slaughtered while conscious. Imagine the pain until death from shock. Also I just don't like the taste of it. More people should try to understand vegetarianism, don't rule it out entirely. It helps prevent heart disease, impotence,cancers (yes cancer, the animals are injected with antibiotics and hormones), obesity..etc.Really I suggest if you want to lose weight go veggie! As far as Vivisection, it is just absurd. With all of the new technology this should be obsolete. Also using animal organs for people is absurd also. Our chemical makeup maybe close but not enough to subtend the organs. OK I'm sorry, I'm not trying to preach but this is how I feel about the subject. I am also into Gaia Liberation, religion study, politics...more. Green Party may be best for me, though with not conforming to a political party. Though, I do have my views on them.
  
  [Thoughts]-just random things I think about: I believe in alien life, I'm just not sure if it's here yet. The earth hasn't been around long enough for someone traveling at the speed of light to get here. If they are present I'd say a magnetic anomaly produced a porthole for that kind of travel. I'm not a very religious person. I have my own thoughts that I out together from studying different religions. Some of my fav studies have been Spiritualism(which I favor), Satanism and Nihilism(which of course are not religions...and I didn't adopt myself to). Buddhist thought b/c of reincarnation. I like some of Hindu beliefs as well. Though my view is a little different. I think of soul life (more than just being here once) like a school, you get changes to move up, if you do wrong you're put a step lower and possibly have to suffer for what you did. When you have completed-learnt all of the knowledge to be passed on to the next dimension or enlightenment. Also another beleif would be that of souls going onto the next realm. This realm which they don't necessarily have to be judged by a diety. This realm or 4th dimension. It may exist in a another universe or might exist in our universe(as to say they are right here with us but we can't see them). Or if they do go onto another Universe/Realm..etc they can only go if they are at peace of have completed fully what they wanted to do in this life. Paganism and other polythiest religons are very beautiful. I believe in being open-minded and doing what you want not just because someone wants you to, but because you want to. People that think they know everything really annoyin me. They should wake up and know no one can knowing everything. They should also undertsand just because they have an opinion doesn not mean it is right. I wonder at times, could the universe be contained in something...is their a bigger universe outside of it. Does every atom contain a universe? Well, Have you not you wondered that before?
  Currently, I'm getting into the beleifes that come along with Tai-chi, Tao etc.
  
  Some of what I [Dislike]
  People- what I dislike of and some examples why: Souless people, Ignorant people, people on here that think they know you by seeing a few lines of text or prof. and use derogatory staments, ones who don't like you cause you're different,vain people, people who cut down others to feel better about themselves, closed minded, people without hops and dreams-how boring and sad is that?-,people who think they know everything, and ones who lie to better themselves. I also Dislike: guns, rape, macho men, murder, eating and killing animals in any way-but I'm not gonna tell you how to live, if you eat meat-, racists, homophobes, religion pushers, IMs that ask for A/S/L after you just put it in the chat, when someone IMs you and asks for a pic and doesn't talk to you if you say no-I say no cause I'd rather chat first-, having to smile when I can't, taking pictures, I'll add more later when I can think clearly.
  
  What I [Stand For]Not to mention but just in case-I am A Non judgemental(of course depending on situation), non homophobic, anti racist, anti killing or hurting animals in anyway, open-minded, non materialist,anti war (unless it's for justice and well for stomping hehe).....ok that's just an example of the few you can read in the before paragraph.
  
  [Goals in life] One of my goals in life would be to discover more if any-there is an afterlife. To obtain as much knowledge as I can, just because and for knowledge as being power. I want to be the best person I can be. I know my Mom would be proud of me for this. As an artist and a career I want to go into Graphic Design. It's easy to me and fun. I might add a side career/or into another, or 4 to that. Such as Performance art,Paranormal Investigator,Forensic Pathologist. Another important thing to me is Animal and Gaia(Mother Earth)Liberation. Im Somewhat into human rights as well,ex.anti war.I also want to make someone very happy forever (as in a mate). <P>
  [Current] I completed a first quarter of colege this yr '03. It was fun. I took classes such as electives while waiting for my Graphic Design, fall quarter. I can't wait to start in fall. Also, I've been doing good up here. I've met a lot of nice friends. I realy like it up here, snow is fun haha. sadly, my dog of 15 yrs, Samantha, past away. In the future I hope to open an animal sancturary...for stray, hurt animals etc. I'd like to also open a cafe/shop for artists/poets/writers/musicians that need help, as to say struggling artists. Here they can display their work-by selling it, singing or reading poetry etc. I'd like to offer some food there, coffee etc. It should have a calming/peaceful Beatnik atomosphere.
  
  [Well, I guess I'm done for now.]
  I don't know if this let you into more information about me or what you were looking for. I hope it did. Let me know what's missing =0

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