Returning from visiting my sons school, I couldn't help but think how much my life had changed. It was not that long ago that I was unable to drive, even to the top of the street, without trembling and gasping for air. It was not that long ago that I was living only a fraction of life and spending every hour in fear and desperation. Now, approximately 3 years after being free'd from bondage, I smiled at the little things in life. Those things many others take for granted that I lived without for so many years.

I smiled that I could spend special quiet times with each of our children, just mom and son. I smiled that I didn't have to go places I didn't want to out of fear of facing another panic attack alone. I smiled that my husband and I no longer had to plan the whole day avoiding situations that could trigger or provoke a panic attack, making sure every moment was accounted for.

Mostly I smiled at the new found joy my family and I have found in Christ. The priceless lessons He taught us (and continues to) through years of struggling and searching. Years that were hard, full of loneliness, fear, depression; but also years of discovery, awakening, and triumphs. Years of transformation which brought me from a self-confining cocoon of bondage, fear, and worry to a place of peace, strength, and victory. A place of selfishness to a place of giving. A place that can only be found by turning from self and turning to Christ and living each day, Amidst His Grace .

Chapter 1

Chapter 2