In Congress, July 4 1770

the unanimous declaration of the state of Vodkonia

We find these truths to be self evident, that all men are born sober and equal in the eyes of bartenders and have certain, inalienable rights.
These include the rights to Life, Intoxication, and the pursuit of the ultimate drink.
We reject the tyranny of our cruel master, sobriety, who denies us our rights to bear arms, legs and any other body parts, we feel like.
Who would try and suppress our God given right to drink for days on end.
Those who would try and censor our thoughts and ideas, those who tell us that winning a formula 1 race on a horse is impossible.
we the people of Vodkonia demand independence. We demand the freedom to govern ourselves, to be given the means to shape our own destiny. We demand that our country be given back to us, its rightful owners, and we demand the safe return of those CD's you borrowed a few months ago.
As nation, free from oppression and sobriety we have rights as citizens of this nation.
1. The right to bear arms, legs and other bodily parts
2. The right to purchase liquor at any time of day or night
3. The right to freedom of speech, and the re-working of song lyrics to suit our own drunken ramblings
4. The right to stumble home
5. The rights to start fights with complete strangers
6. And finally the right to order whatever drinks we want, and not be mocked by others. We may not agree with what you drink, but we will fight to the death for your right to drink it.
Signed:
The God of Tyranny
The HobGoblin of All Things Alcoholic