"Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him." -- Sojourner Truth
Otto: "You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, giant English twerp scumbag fuck-face dickhead asshole!"
Archie: "How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?"
Otto: "You're the vulgarian, you fuck! Now apologize!"
Archie: "What, me, to you??" -- Fish Called Wanda
Otto: "DON'T ever call me stupid!"
Wanda: "Oh, right, to call you stupid would be an insult to STUPID people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQ's. But YOU think you're an intellectual, don't you, Ape?"
O: "Apes don't read philosophy!"
W: "Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it! Now let me correct you on a few things. Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is NOT every man for himself! And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked 'em up." -- FCW
Arthur: "Shut UP! I order you to SHUT UP!" *starts shaking Dennis*
Dennis: "Oho, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!!!" -- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Heisenberg May Have Slept Here." -- bumper sticker
"The past is not behind us, but beneath our feet." -- Henry Corbin
"Our work is, by definition, Earth Shaking." -- sign on the door of the UD Geophysics Lab
"Ulp." -- Kurt Goetz
Judy: "Being in love means never having to say you're sorry."
Howard: "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life." -- What's Up, Doc?
Lieutenant: "All right, let's take it from the top."
Chekhov: "The top of vhat?"
L: "Name."
C: "My name?"
L: "No, MY name."
C:" I do not know your name!"
L: "You play games with me, mister, and you're through."
C: "I am? May I go now?" -- Star Trek IV
Gillian: "Let me guess. You're from outer space."
Kirk: "No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space."
G: "Oh, well, I was close! I mean, I knew outer space was going to come into this somewhere!" -- STIV
"The Spear in the Other's heart
Is the Spear in your Own;
You are He." -- Surak, Diane Duane
"Riches I hold in light esteem
And Love I laugh to scorn
And lust of Fame was but a dream
That vanished with the morn-
And if I pray, the only prayer
That moves my lips for me
Is - "Leave the heart that now I bear
And give me liberty."
Yes, as my swift days near their goal
'Tis all that I implore -
Through life and death, a chainless soul
With courage to endure!" -- Emily Bronte
"Brevity is the soul of lingerie." -- Dorothy Parker
"Short bounds of life are set to mortal man.
'Tis virtue's work alone to stretch the narrow span." -- the Aeneid, as translated by John Dryden
"O mortals, blind in fate, who never know
To bear high fortune or endure the low!" -- the Aeneid
"Now all things to their utmost issue tend,
Pushed by the fates to their appointed end." -- the Aeneid
"Great, just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock." -- Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Dark Helmet: "Out of Order?!?!"
Col. Sanders: "Fuck."
D.H.: "Even in the future nothing works!" -- Spaceballs
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
"But heaven its gifts not all at once bestows,
These years with wisdom crowns, with action those:
The field of combat fits the young and bold,
The solemn council best becomes the old:" -- The Iliad, as translated by Alexander Pope
"Oh! hadst thou strength to match thy brave desires,
And nerves to second what thy soul inspires!
But wasting years, that wither human race,
Exhaust thy spirits, and thy arms unbrace.
What once thou wert, oh ever mightst thou be!" -- The Iliad
"Cursed is the man, and void of law and right,
Unworthy property, unworthy light,
Unfit for public rule, or private care,
That wretch, that monster, who delights in war;
Whose lust is murder, and whose horrid joy,
To tear his country, and his kind destroy!" -- The Iliad
"Pronounce with judgement, with regard give ear,
To see no wholesome motion be withstood,
And ratify the best for public good..." -- The Iliad
"Life is not to be bought with heaps of gold." -- The Iliad
Kate: "There was a sprinkler on last night and it almost soaked Kurt and I when we were walking home from the concert."
Danielle: "Kurt and ME."
K: "Riiiiight. But you weren't there."
Waitress: "You're lucky, I've been stuck in a Cleveland all week!"
Mark: "What's a Cleveland?"
Waitress: "It's like death...without the advantages." -- The Philadelphia
"A penny saved is 2.5 grams of zinc alloy." -- anonymous
"Let's face it. There's no such thing as a gracious winner. You may say things like 'Good Game', or shake the other team's hand. But deep down inside, you're really saying 'I'm better than you are...'" -- a car commercial
"Love at first sight does not exist. Have you ever looked at someone and said, 'Check her out, she looks loyal.'? Or, 'Whoah, check out the morals on THAT guy.'?" -- another car commercial
"No man controls my destiny. Especially not one who attacks downwind and stinks of garlic." -- Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
"This is grain. Which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord has a greater purpose. Let us praise the Lord and celebrate His bounty by learning about...beer." -- RH:POT
Azeem: "Greetings, little one."
Child: "Did God paint you?"
A: "Did God paint me? Hehehe....for certain."
C: "Why? "
A: "Because Allah loves wondrous variety." -- RH:POT
"It was foolish to put a window in a bathroom stall. It was even more foolish for someone to leave the window open." -- Kim
"At that moment I knew. I knew the way you know about a good melon." -- When Harry Met Sally...
"Now troubles are many
They're as deep as a well
I can swear there ain't no heaven and I pray there ain't no hell.
Swear there ain't no heaven and I pray there ain't no hell...
But I'll never know by living, only my dying will tell!" -- Blood, Sweat, & Tears
"The fact that I am responsible for another human life is utterly ridiculous. Suddenly I am the one saying "Don't touch the cookie on the floor," when inside I'm thinking, "5 second rule. That cookie JUST hit the floor. That cookie is still good!"" -- a car commercial
Dorothy: "How do you speak, if you don't have a brain?"
Scarecrow: "Some people without any brain do an awful lot of talking, don't they?"
D: "I suppose so." -- The Wizard of Oz