| Welcome, my dear little Brady Bunchers. I, as you know, am Wax...Wayne's formerly evil twin brother. As you can see, the Brady Bunch has asked me (for reasons I have yet to figure out) to write my own advice column for their site. What a deliciously wonderful opportunity for me! But I digress. Send me your questions, and I'll answer them. Just email me at DearWax@hotmail.com. |
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Dear Wax, Two years ago, I was abducted and taken aboard an alien vessel. The aliens (who hailed from the planet Tamaak V and looked a lot like giant carrots) said that they soon would invade and enslave the earth. I have tried to warn people about this, (my friends, my family, various government agencies, etc.) but no one believes me! What should I do? Abducted in Alabama
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Dear Abducted, I suggest that you continue to try to convince people of the imminent danger of alien invasion. In the mean time, I will personally contact Captain Kirk and tell him to keep an eye on the Tamarak V battle fleet. Be careful though. The Tamarakians may have already infiltrated human society. Trust no one. Wax |
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Dear Wax, I am a terribly clumsy person. I'm always breaking things. I try to glue what I break back together, but I just end up breaking it again. What can I use to fix things so I won't break them anymore. Klutzy in Kentucky |
Dear Klutzy, I have two words for you: Duct tape. Wax |
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Dear Wax, I need help in chemistry! We're studying Thermodynamics, and I'm not sure I understand something. Can you explain the relationship between temperature and the kinetic energy of a system? Insane in Illinois |
Dear Insane, Didn't you write to me last month? Well, I'm glad to hear that you're still in class (as hopefully that means that you have not burned down the chemistry lab...). I hope your TA is in good health as well... I wish I could help you, but I'm afraid that the answer to your question in highly complex and difficult to explain without the aid of an intense study session and impressive diagrams. Hire a tutor. Wax |
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Dear Wax, Why? Lost in Little Rock |
Dear Lost, Because. Wax |
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Dear Wax, Can you tell me why the Brady Bunch is so crazy? Worried in Washington |
Dear Worried, No one is entirely sure what led to their insanity. Personally, I believe it stems from excessive internet use. But then, it could just be genetic. Don't worry, they're harmless... I think... Wax |
*Please note that Wax's opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the Brady Bunch.