The Gods are Crazy - Part 1
Nikki_Lynn
Linz sat at her desk, staring at her computer screen. She sighed. Nothing had happened in weeks. Not that she wasn't grateful for the break, but at this point she was actually getting bored. Not so much as a threat from Wax in almost a month. Which, to say the least, was odd. She turned back to the screen, as an IM popped up. It was from Nikki Lynn, asking if anything even remotly interesting had happened to her lately. 'So,' Linz thought, 'She's as bored as me... Great.'
* * * * *
Meanwhile, in LA...
"You're serious?" said Brad, "Not even a threatening e-mail? Wow... What, did Wax go on vacation?"
"Yeah, it's weird... I mean, I expected him to be up to his old tricks again..." Wayne replied, "You know... trying to kill us?"
"I know... it's quiet... too quiet," Brad said, dramatically, "Maybe we should talk to the girls? See if they've heard anything? Wax isn't exactly fond of them, ya know..."
"I talked with Mel last night on IM," said Wayne, "No one has heard so much as a mention of Wax."
"Maybe he's finally given up?"
"Yeah, right..."
* * * * *
Two hazel eyes watched from the concealing shadows. So these were the Great Ones... These false idols, these usurpers of the kingdom. They would pay, for only the true Gods could be worshipped. Not these puny mortals, who were held on high by those deranged enough to call them icons of greatness. They would be crushed, and the reign of the true Gods would begin anew!
* * * * *
Linz
"Iris!" She cried. "Tell my husband I shall be taking a short vacation, to LA."
"But why my lady?"
"Aprhodite will finally pay for what she has done!" Hera cried with a vengence. "Her silly Eros made a mistake!"
* * * * *
Persephone watched from the underworld... she had seen these girls, they had committed no crime other then to be obsessive... she would need to help them...
* * * * *
Nikki_Lynn
"Heard from Greg lately?" asked Brad, as the conversation seemed to have come to a stand-still.
"Nah... Not since he left for England last week. I'm guessing he's pretty busy performing at the moment," Wayne replied.
"Yeah..." Brad sighed, as the conversation died again, then laughed.
"What?" asked Wayne.
"Here we are, sitting around doing nothing becuase you're brother *isn't* trying to kill us for once..." Brad began.
"You're right," Wayne laughed, "Let's give Ryan a call and see if he wants to do something tonight."
"Too bad Colin's not in town," said Brad, "That'd really make our little party complete."
Wayne picked up the phone and began to dial.
* * * * *
"Hey Linz, what's up," Nikki Lynn said into the reciever as she cradled the phone against her shoulder.
"Oh... The roof, the sky, the birds..."
"Ha ha ha... very funny," Nikki Lynn replied, smiling.
"So it looks like Wax is off our case for awhile, huh?" Said Linz, getting back on track.
"Yeah... Feels weird to relax after all he's put us through," Nikki_Lynn replied.
"I *almost* wish he'd try something," said Linz, "At least it would give us an excuse to get together again."
Nikki Lynn laughed, "How about we get together for once without having to save the world?"
There was a surge of static on the line.
"You still there?" asked Nikki Lynn
"Yeah," Linz replied, "Stupid phone service. It's almost as annoying as my computer sometimes..."
"Anyways, I wish I could talk longer, but I've gotta start dinner," said Nikki Lynn.
"Ok, see ya on the net!"
Nikki_Lynn looked at the clock. They'd been on the phone for over two hours... She tried not to think about the phone bill. Suddenly, both girls shuddered, a sudden current of almost electric chills running down there spines. 'What the heck was that?' they thought in unison.
* * * * *
Greg walked off the stage to the sound of thunderous applause from his audience. Manuvering out of the building, he was greeted by any number of fans, whom he gladly obliged with a photo or an autograph, or both. Finally, he was on his way back to his hotel room, anxious to get to bed. As he drove down the dark motorway, he noticed how eerily empty the road was. He chastised himself for being so jumpy, telling himself that it was just late... no one was out driving because they were all at home, in bed. Suddenly, the the road in front of him was illuminated by the appearence of two cold, hazel eyes, that seemed to look straight into his mind. Greg hit the brakes, bringing the car to a screeching halt, the eyes peering into his, freezing him on the spot, his vision blurring until all he could focus on were the eyes. His mind slowed, his attention focused solely on the eyes, until suddenly they vanished. Greg shook his head, looking around, and finding himself, not in his car, but instead, in a small chamber, the walls made of stone, no windows, no door. The only light souce came from a fire that burned in the center of the room, welling up from a small pit. "What the hell is going on," Greg wondered aloud...
* * * * *
Linz
Linz went to sleep confused. But as she started to dream she found herself in a void with:
"Nikki Lynn?!?"
"Linz! What are you doing here?"
"Is it Wax again?"
Just then a bright light filled the room. The girls sheilded their eyes until they adjusted. From the light stepped to female forms, as Linz's eyes adjusted, she recognized the forms and immediately knealt and told Nikki Lynn to do the same.
"Ah, so you *do* know who we are" the woman carrying a spear and sheild said.
"Of course!" Linz replied "You're the wise Athena, and you are the all mighty Aphrodite" Nikki Lynn nudged Linz and whispered "What do they want with us?" Linz shrugged in responce.
"Silence!" Athena cried. "You two, along with the rest of the Brady Bunch have been charged with the high crime of reverence for the usurpers and must be sent to Tartaurus!"
"Gently, gently" Aphrodite cautioned, "They are still under my control..."
"Fine! I'll just leave!" with that Athena left in a huff.
Aphrodite turned back to the girls. "Ladies, I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. You are truly blessed among mortals, and so, I have decided to help your group"
"But why us?" Nikki Lynn asked. Linz tried to shush her, but Aphrodite brought them to their feet.
"You are the last two left" she said "Hera has imprisoned the others, Ryan, Colin, Greg, Brad, and Wayne. If she is not stopped, she will surly condemn them to Tartaurus..."
"But why?" Nikki Lynn asked.
"Hera feels they are... well, cutting in on her territory, so she has charged them with the high crime of usurping the true Gods, and she has imprisoned them along with the rest of the Brady Bunch, I cannot imagine why you two have not been imprisoned as well."
"And what has rest of Brady Bunch done to upset Hera?" Linz asked softly.
"She has her reasons."
After recieving more details and instructions from Aphrodite, Linz woke up scared, frightened, and in a cold sweat but as she wondered what to do, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Linz? Did you have this mega-weird dream too?" Nikki Lynn's voice said.
"For some reason, I don't think it's a dream..."
Nikki_Lynn
"I was afraid you were going to say that," Nikki Lynn groaned, "So what the heck do we do about this?"
"Well, I guess the first thing to do is meet somewhere," said Linz, "How soon can you catch a flight to Chicago? That's sort of in between the two of us."
"I'll try leave this afternoon," Nikki Lynn replied, "But first, I'm going to brush up on my Greek mythology..."
* * * * *
In no time, both girls had met in Chicago. They sat alone in a park, discussing their next course of action. Nikki Lynn was looking through a book.
"Alright, according to this, Tartaurus is the part of Hades that is a place of punishment for the most wicked of sinners..." said Nikki Lynn, paraphrasing the book.
"Right," said Linz, "Basically Hell."
"Wonderful... Ya know, I think I'm actually starting to miss Wax," said Nikki Lynn.
"Tell me about it," Linz sighed, "But for now, let's concentrate on getting into the underworld. Aphrodite said she'd help us, but I don't know... I'm not entirely sure I trust her... She's not exactly well known for her moral values..."
"Well, she's the only one who can get us into the underworld... assuming that's where the others are," said Nikki Lynn, "But something still bothers me... Why the other Brady Bunchers and not us? It really doesn't make much sense when you think about it."
"I've been thinking the same thing," Linz replied, "And the only explaination I've come up with is that Hera is toying with us. I think maybe she wants to make a game out of this."
"You're saying she's going to give us a chance to win this?" asked Nikki Lynn.
"I'm not sure I'd go that far," said Linz, "The Greek gods were sort of a petty bunch... They delighted in tormenting mortals. I get the feeling we're in for some major trouble."
"Right you are," said a voice from behind them. The two girls turned and saw Aphrodite standing behind them, "You are correct in assuming that Hera wishes a game. She not only wants to destroy you and your friends, but she wants to enjoy doing it."
"Then how can we win?" asked Nikki Lynn, "If she intends to kill us, how can we stop her?"
"There is always a way... you just have to find it." the goddess replied, "And now, it is time to go. Hera wishes your presence. She awaits you in the kingdom of the dead."
Linz and Nikki Lynn were momentarily blinded by a pure, white light. They opened their eyes only to find that they were in an ornatly decorated chamber. A woman sat on what appeared to be some kind of throne, her hazel eyes glinting in the half-light, peacock feathers adorning her hair. A servant stood on either side of her, each waving a large fan of feathers identical to those the woman wore.
"Hera," Linz whispered to Nikki Lynn...
Linz
Linz and Nikki Lynn bowed simultaniously, then Aphrodite tapped Linz on the shoulder. "You may need this," she said as she handed Linz a purple pendant with all sorts of rays of light contained within it.
"How is this going to help?" Linz asked.
"Maybe not at all, but we'll see... oh, and one more thing... Demeter sends her best wishes... you're lucky you have friends in FFA"
Aphrodite smiled and with a flash of light she was gone, leaving the two to face the wrath of Hera.
"You?" she said, her voice riddled with sarcasim "You are the two Aphrodite feels are gifted? I highly doubt that..."
Linz became a little bolder and replied "With all due respect your grace, was it not she who brought us here?"
"Silence!" she cried. "I do not wish to disturb Hades NOR Cerberus... they can be quite cranky." With that, a wicked smile crossed her face.
* * * * *
"Where am I?" Greg said rubbing his head.
"Hera has asked me to watch over you, so I thought this place would be easier then having you run all over the place," a young boy, maybe in his early 20's with two ivy laurels on each side of his head replied.
"Hera?" Greg said confused. "And who are you?"
"Dionysus. Here, try some of this..." he said handing over a glass.
"What is this?"
"Just try some!"
"Hmmm, not bad.... what is it?"
"My own special blend of gin... Go ahead. Have more!"
Greg downed the glass and found it empty, and yet, his thrist was not queched. He looked into the glass, then up at the boy and said, "Now this is Gin, Dionysus ..."
* * * * *
Nikki_Lynn
Ryan looked around at his surroundings... No doors, no windows... He didn't even no how they'd managed to put him in here... Whoever they were. Wayne and Brad were no where to be seen either. He sat down on the cool, marble floor. The room was elegant in it's simplicity. Beautifully woven tapestries adorned the walls, long flowing lengths of lace hung from an immense bed. Had it not been for the fact that there was no way out, Ryan might actually have enjoyed being there.
Suddenly, a quiet, feminine voice spoke to him. "Hello... You must be one of Hera's prisoners."
Ryan turned around, seeing a beautiful young woman.
"Who are you?" Ryan asked perplexed.
"I am the Queen of the Underworld... But you may call me Persephone." she replied, "I wish to help you... and your friends, but my power is nothing compared to the great Hera's... But I will do what I can. I only wanted to tell you that. I can stay no longer for should my husband find me here, he would not be pleased."
She turned away and walked back through the wall. Ryan tried to follow, only to meet with solid stone...
* * * * *
Meanwhile, Greg was getting quite tipsy from all of the gin Dionysus insisted on giving him. He had tried several times to refuse, but the god continued to force it on him. Greg's head was begining to spin...
* * * * *
"Now," Hera said, cooly, "I'm not without a sense of fairness. I will give to the chance to save your friends. You will be given three tests. Of mind, of strength, and of spirit. Should you pass them all, you and your friends will be free to go."
"What's the catch?" Nikki Lynn asked suspiciously. Hera glared at her, not at all pleased by her tone. Linz nudged her with her elbow.
"Uh... your almightly goddessness," Nikki Lynn added lamely. Hera settled back.
"Simply that *no one* has ever survived the tests," she said, grinning maliciously...
* * * * *
Linz
"Ouch!" Ryan said as he ran into the wall that Persephone had come though. Then he heard a giggle. "Sweet Ryan, do not fret. Nikki Lynn and Linz will triumph..."
"What?"Ryan yelled to the ceiling "Where are they?"
* * * * *
"Dude!" Greg said, now sitting on the floor "This stuff is awesome!"
The young God laughed and disappeared.
"Hey! Where'd ya go?"
* * * * *
"Just for that you may have to pass them separately!" Hera boomed. But a young voice giggled.
"Ah ah ah ah aaaahhh!!" It scolded with playfullness. Hera rolled her eyes and groaned.
"You promised!" A maiden with flowers in her hair said.
"But Demeter!"
"You promised!" she interupted, "And you wouldn't want to be in Tartaurus instead of them would you?"
"Fine!" Hera said. Becomeing more irate, "Your first task is..."
Nikki_Lynn
"... that of the mind."
Hera clapped her hands and her two attendants approached Nikki Lynn and Linz, seizing them by the arms.
"Few have ever made it through the few test... We shall see how you measure up," Hera continued. The wall behind the two girls began to part, reveal a long, dark tunnel leading to a wide river.
"Behold, the River Styx," she continued, "The beginning of your quest... You first obstacle is to cross it," she grinned, "And from there to complete your first test. Find the first group of your friends... As simple as that. But freeing them may not be so simple..."
The goddess motioned them toward the opening in the wall. The River Stix loomed in front of them like a massive, grey snake slithering through the darkness.
"How are we going to cross that?" Nikki Lynn asked, "Wasn't there something about a ferry?"
She pulled out her book, flipping through the pages, "Charon, right?"
"So we find him," said Linz, "And get across."
"And hope we can find the Brady Bunch..." Nikki Lynn replied..."
Linz
"Wait a sec! I don't think that would be such a good idea!"
"Why not?"
"First of all, do you have any Greek money to pay Charon?"
"No, But-"
"Second of all..." Linz interupted. "Charon is like death, and well, I don't know about you, but I would like to live to at least see a taping..."
"Well, I can understand that. But then what do you propose, swimming across?"
"The river Styx? Nuh uh, we wouldn't remember ANYTHING..."
"Well, that hasn't stopped us before..."
Suddenly, Linz heard a quiet voice behind her, she whirled around, but instead of seeing the source of the voice, she saw two long poles.
"I just wonder..." Linz said as she picked up one of the poles and began bending it gently.
"What are you doing?" Nikki Lynn asked.
"I'm seeing how much give they have..."
"What?!? Why?"
"I'm going to try to vault over it..." Linz said tossing it up into the air slightly to feel the weight.
"WHAT?!?" Nikki Lynn cried "You can't do that!"
"Watch me!" Linz took a running start and pole vaulted over the river. Nikki Lynn stood agog at the spectical she had just witnessed.
"It's easy!" Linz shouted "Just turn upside down when it bends!"
Nikki Lynn took a running start and a she was lifted into the air, she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she was standing next to Linz.
"See, now that wasn't so bad was it?" then Linz silently looked up and said, "Thank you!"
"You're welcome," a voice from behind her said.
Linz whirled around and saw "Demeter! I... I... am speechless!"
"I know, but-"
"I am such an admirer! I drew..."
"I know, you are very talented... but anyway, I cannot stay long. You're friends are being trapped by Hera's Sphinx. But if you do succeed in freeing them, Athena will be on your side, and she can be a very powerful ally."
"Thank you so much for all your help!" Nikki Lynn said cheerily. Demeter smiled and was gone in a flash of light. Just then the girls heard a horrific laugh, "So *you* are the gifted ones?"
"Just ask your riddle!" Linz declared.
"Well, I *do* have a doozy for you... and quite an updated one for you, too!" The Sphinx cleared it's throat and said "But first, the rules..."
Suddenly, a glass cage appeared and frozen inside were Mel, Jess, Holly, and Babs.
"If you answer correctly, I'll release them, if not, you join them..."
"Ask away!" Nikki Lynn declared.
"Fine!" the Sphinx responded "A man looked for his black car in a crowded parking lot, and without the aid of an artificial light source, he was able to find it... How is this possible?"
The Sphinx smiled with glee, for it was sure of victory. But Linz smiled as well...
Nikki_Lynn
"That's simple," said Linz.
"Ha!," the Sphinx responded, "We shall see. What is your answer?"
"The man was able to find his car without an artificial light source because it was daytime. He used the sun... A *natural* light source. Nice try," Linz grinned.
The Sphinx's jaw dropped. She turned away, pouting, and disappeared from sight. Suddenly, the glass prison containing the four girls shattered, and they dropped to their knees.
"Linz! Nikki Lynn!" Mel cried, "Where are we? What's going on? It's Wax again, isn't it?!"
The other three girls murmured in agreement until finally Nikki Lynn called their attention and explained.
"No, it's not Wax," she said, "Believe it or not, we've somehow managed to tick off the ancient Greek gods. Specifically, Hera. She's got the guys!"
"What?! No way. Greek gods?" said Babs, doubfully.
"It's true!" said Linz, "They kidnapped you guys and brought Nikki Lynn and I here to the underworld to play Hera's sick little game in order to free you."
"Underworld?" Holly echoed, "Does that mean we're... dead?"
"Not yet," Nikki Lynn replied.
"Oh, *that's* reasuring..." Jess replied. Just then, a voice interupted them.
"You have done well," said a woman, who had suddenly appeared behind Linz. The group stared at her.
"Athena!" Linz gasped, surprised by the sudden entrance. The goddess smiled.
"At first, I thought you were merely unworthy mortals," she continued, "But you have demonstrated not only courage in taking up tihs quest, but also wisdom... Perhaps I was hasty in my judgement. Know that you have made an ally here today. Come, I will show you the way to your next test... That of strength..."
* * * * *
Colin walked cautiously through the misty corridors. He had no idea where he was. One minute he had been on his way home, and the next he had found himself here. The little light that managed to creep into the passageway did nothing to help him find any sense of direction. Suddenly, the path opened up into a larger chamber... in the center of which stood two statues. Colin approached the statues. The meager light seemed to focus more on them. He gasped as he saw the stone faces... Wayne and Brad... A remarkable likeness to his friends. Whoever had done this work must have been a master sculptor... Though Colin shuddered as he wondered why that artist had created such terrified expressions on their faces...
In the darkness, something moved ever so carefully among the shadows...
* * * * *
Greg's mind had finally cleared enough to the point that he was feeling a definate hangover coming on. He looked down at his hands, he mind still reeling from Dionysus' gin. His hands seemed different somehow... His fingernails elongated, much like an eagle's talons... Looked at gold-colored hair that had grown in suddenly and thick over his arms...
He groaned as a wave of dizzyness sent him into unconciousness...
* * * * *
Linz
"You girls shall be sent to my chambers. You'll be safe there," Athena told them. She waved her spear in front of Holly, Babs, Mel, and Jess, and then they were gone. She motioned for Linz and Nikki Lynn to follow her.
"You two must be careful from now on. Hera's wrath is something that not even Zeus wants to deal with. Also, you must hurry, because I fear she is doing damage to your... hmmm, oh dear... how do I put it... she's doing damage to "the guys" which may be irreverseable if enough time goes by," Athena carefully explained.
"What is she doing?!?" Nikki Lynn demanded.
"I cannot be certain... I do know that they may undergo some physical changes, but they are still themselves inside."
"That doesn't sound good..." Linz commented.
As Athena pushed open the door of a large building, she tapped Nikki Lynn on the shoulder, "Here," she said handing over an invisable bag, "You two may need this..."
Nikki Lynn was about to say thank you, when Athena disappeared from sight. Suddenly a booming voice said "You may have survived the first challenge, but during the next you will not be so lucky!"
"We'll see about that Hera!" Linz yelled to the ceiling.
"I don't know about this strength thing Linz, I can barely do a pushup!" Nikki Lynn said.
"I know what you mean! I..." Linz let her sentence trail off as she saw 3 statues before them, she grabbed a torch of fire and ran over, with Nikki Lynn at her heels. "No..." was the breathy response that came from Nikki Lynn.
Linz grabbed a mirror from her back pack and looked into it to what it reflected over her shoulder. She knew that they were in the lair of the gorgons.
"What's wrong Linz?" Nikki Lynn asked.
"Hera has done it again... She turned them into stone."
"What? No one can..."
"Haven't you ever heard the tale of Perseus? He chopped off Medusa's head and turned the creature threatening Pelius' kingdom and his daughter Andromeda to stone..."
"So Medusa is dead then? So how could she..."
"MEDUSA is, yes, but I seem to remember her having 3 sisters..."
Nikki Lynn quickly looked through the bag that Athena had given them for anything that might be of use...
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