The Gods are Crazy - Part 2
Nikki_Lynn
"This is a test of strength, right?" said Linz, as Nikki Lynn dug deeper and deeper into the bag.
"Uh huh," Nikki Lynn replied as her hand closed around something cold and hard.
"Well, maybe we're supposed to fight off the Gorgons... Are you listening to me?" Linz asked. Nikki Lynn seemed to be enthralled with what was in the bag. She watched as Nikki Lynn slowly drew her hand out of the bag... her fingers coiled around a silver handle, drawing forth a glinting blade.
"Wow," said Nikki Lynn, pulling the sword entirly out of the bag, "Um... I think you're right about us fighting the Gorgons..."
Linz reached into the bag as well, her hand touching some kind of rough material. She quickly pulled it out... a bullwhip.
"I don't suppose you know anything about using weapons like these, do you?" asked Linz.
"Haven't a clue," Nikki Lynn replied, "But I think we're gonna have to figure it out pretty quickly!"
Hissing from the shadows... Linz could barely make out the outline of a figure moving in the darkness.
"Whatever you do... don't look at them," she whispered, as the girls readied themselves for an attack...
* * * * *
Greg awoke, his head spinning.
'Where am I? he thought... Then remembering Dionysus... the gin... passing out... He tried to stand, but found he could only get to his knees... Then realized that he *was* standing. He crained his neck, trying to see the rest of his body, then gasped in shock as he discovered his transformation. Huge wings folded along his back, his hands replaced by the legs of some massive bird, his body streamlined and powerful, a lion. Greg searched his memory, trying to think of the name that escaped him... Then realization... Giffin. His eyes widened, at the thought. How? How could this have happened? Dionysus... and his gin. Dionysus had changed him. His heart sank as he realized he might be stuck like this.
Dispair gave way to desperation, and Greg turned to the stone wall, and using his new-found talons, began to dig, the stone breaking in the powerful limbs' grip. He had to get out of here. He would dig until he was free. Greg didn't know if it was a brilliant plan, or sheer panic, but either way, he wasn't staying here any longer.
* * * * *
Linz
Linz toyed with the whip a bit, flailing it about in all different directions, when it got stuck... She turned and found the end in the hand of a very strong form.
"Be careful with that," he said.
"Ares?"
"Yup, and just a few quick tips..."
* * * * *
Greg dug deeper and deeper until he was able to sneak under the wall. He found himself in a massive chamber and saw: "Nikki Lynn! Linz!"
The two turned and saw a massive form running toward them and stopping about 5 feet away, "Guys! It's me! Greg!"
"Greg? Is it really?" Nikki Lynn squinted her eyes.
"You had some of Dionysus' gin didn't you?" Ares asked.
"Well, how was I..."
"Never mind that now, I'm afraid you girls are on your own..." With that, Ares was gone.
"Great! Now what?" Linz said in frustration.
Nikki_Lynn
"Um... here's a suggestion," said Nikki Lynn, "Get ready to fight!"
Out of the corner of her eye, Linz caught sight of a quick movement, and quickly turned away from the source, knowing if she looked upon their attackers she'd wind up like Colin, Brad, and Wayne.
"Greg!" Linz cried, "Don't look at them!"
She and Nikki Lynn ran, positioning themselves behind the statues, keeping the statues between themselves and the Gorgons. The Gorgons, for their part seemed content for the moment to toy with them, slowly circling, occasionally laughing with delight as the two girls averted their eyes, and held their weapons at ready.
Greg desparately wanted to help, but not knowing how to do so without looking at the threat, he could only stand off to the side.
"What did you do with that mirror?" asked Nikki Lynn. Linz reached into her pocket.
"Right here," she replied, as she used the mirror to locate the creatures... As she had expected, there were three of them.
"Ok, here's the plan," said Nikki Lynn, "Use that whip and see if you can get them into the corners... If they're in the dark, we can't see them. And if we're lucky, they might not be able to see us."
"Then what?" asked Linz as they ducked around the statues again.
"Well, I *do* have a very large sword," Nikki Lynn replied, grimacing.
"Not a very pleasent prospect, but I don't think we have much of a choice..." Linz replied, "Now!"
She cracked the whip over the Gorgon's heads. They seemed amused by the attempt, but slowly backed up... towards the shadows. It was awkward, using the mirror to aim the crack of the whip, but soon, both girls found themselves in the dark.
"Your turn," whispered Linz. Nikki Lynn gripped the sword, preparing herself for the inevitable, Linz standing behind her. She listened for the Gorgons and centering in on them, swung the sword. One of them screeched, a blood-curling sound, and rushed forward, knocking Nikki Lynn to the ground, the sword flying from her hand. A second Gorgon grabbed Linz, her nails digging into Linz's shoulders. From the opposite side of the chamber, the two girls heard Greg cry out, and they knew the third Gorgon was after him.
"Keep your eyes closed!" shouted Linz. Nikki Lynn squeezed her eyes tight shut.
"I have an idea!" she called back, "Get them into the light!"
Linz threw her weight against her attacker, throwing the creature off balance. They two of them rolled across the floor, bumping into another moving body... Nikki Lynn. Nikki Lynn grabbed the mirror from Linz, and a moment later, the attack stopped. Linz opened her eyes a crack, discovering a stone statue standing over her, but still hearing Nikki Lynn's struggle. Linz dove for Nikki Lynn's lost sword, and using the reflection in the blade, took aim at the second of their attackers, neatly slicing the head off.
"Greg!" Nikki Lynn called, recovering herself. She grabbed the still-writhing head of the Gorgon, shielding her eyes, and flung it in the direction of the third. The Gorgon screamed as she turned to stone, the agonizing cry cut off abruptly...
Linz
"That was *not* fun" Linz said, still breathing heavily.
"Tell me about it!" Nikki Lynn said.
"Ok, you see..." Linz started before laughing.
"Oh you!" Nikki Lynn lightly shoved Linz, glad for a reprieve from the anxious feeling she had.
The two walked over to Greg and Linz dug into the bag one more time.
"Well, now, what have we here" Linz pulled out a cloth bag which held a little vial of liquid the attached note said "This nectar is to be shared between you. As much as I hate to admit it, you two are worthy enough to be goddesses. Hera."
"Can you believe it?" Linz said, as she uncorked the bottle and sniffed it.
"What's nectar, Linz?"
"The drink of the Gods. It's said that if a mortal drinks it, they will become immortal."
"But why would Hera give something like that to us?"
"I... I just don't know..." Linz grasped her head with her free hand, and looked at the vial in her other hand.
"Could it be a trap?" Nikki Lynn asked.
"Yes, but I don't think it is... look." The pendant she wore was flashing blue.
"So, who will take a sip first?" Nikki Lynn asked.
"Somehow, I don't feel right about this..." Linz said, walking over to Greg and kneeling down next to him, "Not with the guys like this."
"I know, but what can we do?"
Then Hera appeared before the girls with Aphrodite. The two knealt before them.
"Ladies," Aphrodite said, "It truly is nectar... and Hera wishes to appologize for the trouble she has put you through..."
Hera took a forced step forward and said, "Yes..."
But Linz could tell that Nikki Lynn still did not seem satisfied, so she did the unthinkable, she gave the nectar to Greg...
Nikki_Lynn
"Here, Greg," said Linz. Greg eyed the vial suspiciously.
"How do we know we can trust them?" Greg asked.
"I assure you, that *is* the nectar of the gods," Aphrodite spoke up. Greg noted just how anxious Hera looked as he reached up to take the vial in his taloned foot.
"No!" cried Hera, "Not him! Not one of the usurpers!" She reached foreward and snatched at the vial, but Linz pulled it back.
"You did have something planned for us, didn't you?" Nikki Lynn accused. Hera crossed her arms.
"So," she said, "You would pass up the chance to become goddesses if it would save your friends."
"Yes," Nikki Lynn and Linz replied in unision. Aphrodite smiled.
"You see? I told you they were more worthy than you gave them credit for. They passed the test of spirit," she said to Hera. Hera narrowed her eyes. The vial of nectar vanished from Linz's hand.
"That is true... They did pass the third and final test. *They* may be worthy," she said, "But I still say that their little idols are not. The *Brady Bunch* may return to their world, but the other five remain here!"
With that, she disappeared. Aphrodite's smile faded.
"Oh dear," she said, "I didn't expect that..."
"What do you *mean* you didn't expect that?" cried Linz, "She said if we passed the tests she'd let us all go free!"
"I know... But she is Hera, Queen of the Gods," Aphrodite replied, "I'm afraid she can change the rules if she wants to. If I were in your place, I would go home... There's no way to save the rest of your friends. I'm sorry."
She looked at Greg sadly.
"There must be a way..." said Nikki Lynn.
"There is a way," said a voice from the shadows, "But it won't be easy."
"Persephone," Aphrodite said, "Can you send them all back?"
"No," the queen of the underworld replied, "But Hades can. Convincing him to do so won't be easy though."
"And besides that," said Linz, "We also have to change Wayne, Colin, Brad, and Greg back into... well... humans... And find Ryan!"
"Your friend Ryan is safe," Persephone replied, "I found him before any harm could come to him and left him in a safe place. As for your other friends... You already have the tools with which to restore them to the original forms."
Aphrodite nodded and motioned to Nikki Lynn's bag...
Linz
Nikki Lynn reached in and pulled out... "A nail clipper? Wha?"
Aphrodite smiled and was gone.
"Let me see that for a second," Linz said. She had noticed it was a little bigger then the average, run of the mill clipper, and it wasn't made of any NORMAL metal...
"What are you thinking Linz?"
Linz walked over to the gorgon with no head and clipped off one of her brass fingernails. She walked over to where the statues were and said, "I think that I might remember..."
She started scratching the Brad statue with the fingernail when all of a sudden, she drew blood... almost immediately after, Brad became normal again and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOO!! NOT A HOEDOWN DAN!!" Then he looked around to see Nikki Lynn and Linz giggling at him. He adjusted his shirt and said, "Well, if you saw something that was so ugly it could turn you to stone, you might think it's Dan too!" With that he hugged the two girls.
Linz quickly did the same process, releasing Colin and Wayne as well. But then they realized they still had no way to return Greg to human form yet. Nikki Lynn turned to Linz for the answer.
"I'm so sorry, but I have NEVER heard of anyone being changed into a griffin before, let alone back to a human... I'm so sorry..."
Nikki Lynn felt a tapping on her shoulder.
"Not now Linz!" she said.
"What?" Linz replied from across the room "Did you say something?"
Nikki Lynn's mouth opened in shock as she turned around and saw...
Nikki_Lynn
...Persephone and Aphrodite smiled, amused by the two girls' confusion.
"Of course, you, Nikki Lynn, are not the only one who recieved a gift that might help..." said Aphrodite. Nikki Lynn looked puzzled for a moment, but then grinned as she realized what the goddess meant.
"Linz, your pendant," said Nikki Lynn, "Maybe it can help."
Linz grasped the pendant that hung from her neck and looked into purple crystal. The light inside of it began to glow more intensly as she moved closer to Greg, and suddenly, the crystal cracked and shattered, releasing the light. It surrounded Greg, and grew brighter still, and the two girls had to shield their eyes from it. When they looked back, Greg stood, a bit dazed, but his normal self again.
"Greg!" Linz cried, "You're you again!"
"So I am," Greg replied, grinning.
"But what about Ryan?" asked Nikki Lynn.
"Follow me," said Persephone. She led the six of them through the twisting passageways until they came to a solid wall. With a wave of Persephone's hand, and arched doorway appeared, and on the other side, they saw Ryan, along with Holly, Jess, Mel, and Babs.
"Now that you are reunited, prehaps it would be wise to send those whom Hera released back to your world," said Persephone.
"What's she talking about?" asked Babs.
"The Brady Bunch is free to go, but the others must stay," said Aphrodite, "You should take the opportunity. I know that you don't want to leave them, but if you stay, Hera may find a way to use your presence here against Linz and Nikki Lynn."
Jess nodded, "But if we go home, it'll be safer for everyone. We'll go back."
"But..." Mel began.
"If we stay, we could be putting everyone in danger," said Jess, cutting her off, "It's better if we go."
Mel reluctantly agreed, and with a wave of her hand, Aphrodite sent them back.
"Now what?" asked Ryan, "If Hera won't let us leave, how are we supposed to get out of here?"
Linz
"That is a task we cannot help you with," Persephone said, "But I can take you to his chambers."
Persephone lead the crowd down several corridors until a massive form popped out in front of them and growled.
"Cerberus!" Persephone smacked the form, "Go lay down!"
The giant dog whimpered and left. Soon they were in a gigantic throne room.
"Well, Hades is on his throne. Please, be careful, he is well known for his trickery..."
Nikki Lynn and Linz approached the throne and knealt, Linz motioned behind her back for the guys to do the same.
Hades flicked his hand and walked past them and over to Colin. He started circling around them "Yes... I can see Hera's position..." Then he looked up at Persephone "My dear, why must you be in the presence of such low-lifes?"
"Excuse me," Nikki Lynn said, "We would like them to return to earth with us."
"Ha!" Hades chortled "Don't make me laugh!"
"Please your grace," Linz pleaded, "They do not deserve the punishment that Hera has bestowed upon them!"
"Alright," Hades said as he settled back onto his throne "Plead your case."
* * * * *
Meanwhile, the form watching the spectical on the couch was doubling over in laughter!
"Trapped in the underworld? Priceless..." Wax said, "Now I just need to make sure they stay there..."
* * * * *
Nikki_Lynn
"Well," Linz began, "These five men are of great importance... not only to us, but to many, many people."
"More important than the gods?" Hades asked, raising an eyebrow. Linz realized her mistake, and quickly made an attempt at correcting it.
"No, your grace," said Linz, "But important in their own right."
"Oh?" Hades replied, "How so?"
"They make us laugh," Nikki Lynn chimed in.
"So?"
"So what is a world without laughter?" asked Nikki Lynn.
Hades snorted, for lack of an answer. Linz saw her chance.
"Everyone needs to laugh sometimes... I'll bet even you would like these guys if you gave them a chance..."
Her casual statement peaked the god's interest.
"What are you proposing?" he inquired. Linz grinned at Nikki Lynn, who instantly knew what she was implying.
"Just a little performance..." Linz replied...
* * * * *
Wax watched from the couch, not happy at all. It was time for him to pay a little visit to the underworld. He stepped into his library and pulled an ancient-looking book from the shelf, flipping it's pages as he walked across the room, and quietly murmuring unintelligible words. Then vanishing in a flash of light...
* * * * *
Linz
"Do you think you guys can do it?" Linz whispered to Wayne.
"Hopefully..." Wayne replied. "But what if he doesn't buy it?"
"He will!" Nikki Lynn chimed in "I mean, if I want to buy a rusty bathtub from these guys-"
"But that's *another* story" Linz cut off Nikki Lynn before she said anything crazy, "But I get to be Drew since it was my idea..." Linz stated.
"No way!! I get to be Drew!"
Brad leaned over and whispered in her ear and Linz's eyes lit up, "You mean it?"
Brad nodded, "But only because we don't have any time to waste."
Linz had a big grin on her face as Nikki Lynn announced the first game... Song titles.
"This game, we'll have Wayne, Brad, Ryan and... what?!? Linz? You can't-"
Linz giggled, "I'm going to defend my undefeated title!"
"This ought to be amusing... " Hades groaned then he looked over at Persephone who was giggling at the banter...
* * * * *
Wax looked around and found himself in a small village. He knew he had no time to waste. Wax quickly stopped one of the passers-by and asked him, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the nearest temple of Hera?"
"On the other side of that hill over there..."
Wax thanked the man, which was unusual, he thought... he wasn't usually so nice to people... but he was in a good mood because he was finally going to get rid of his brother...so he laughed and walked away quickly...
* * * * *
Brad easily got Ryan out after 3 exchanges... Linz gulped as it was her turn.
"Who are you?"
"The man who shot Liberty Valence."
"Do you love me?"
"What's love got to do with it?"
"Return to sender!"
"Where have all the flowers gone?"
Linz giggled, "Oklahoma!"
* * * * *
Nikki_Lynn
Meanwhile, Wax walked into Hera's temple, and approaching her alter, called to her:
"Oh great Hera," he said in his most sincere voice, "Grace this humble mortal with your presence."
Hera appear before him, behind the alter.
"So! Another infidel who would seek to overthrow the reign of the gods!" she cried angrliy.
"No, your grace," Wax said, "You misunderstand. I wish to be rid of those five as much as you do."
"Really," Hera said, intrigued, "And why do you come to me now? They are already trapped in the underworld by my decree."
"For now, oh great Hera," Wax cooed, "But they have gone to Hades to plead their case... And those two Brady Bunchers are clever... They may very well succeed."
"Proposterous!" Hera thundered, "Hades would never allow them to leave."
"But what about Persephone?" asked Wax, "*She* may be able to help convince him."
"You have a point," Hera admitted, "What do you suggest?"
"Send them all to Tartaurus, while you still have the chance," said Wax, "If you intervine now, you can catch them before any damage is done."
"Very well," said Hera, "But you will be joining me... If they end up escaping, *someone* will have to take their place... After all, this is *my* reputation on the line."
Wax gulped nervously, but nodded, confident that his brother and the others would be in Tartaurus before Hades could so much as crack a smile...
* * * * *
Linz
Brad and Linz had been firing song titles back and forth for at least 5 minutes. Neither wanted to back down to the other. Hades watched on, seemingly getting more and more interested as the two persisted.
"Momma said knock you out!"
"I'm just a girl."
"Bite me doughboy!"
"I fell in a pile of you and got love all over me."
With that, Hades stood up and commanded, "Stop!" Everyone turned to look, even Brad and Linz. "I declare that this game is a tie for now. You have peaked my curiosity and I wish you to proceed."
Linz went over to Nikki Lynn and whispered in her ear. Nikki Lynn anxiously nodded and smiled. Then she proudly stated, "Our next game is called... hoedown."
All five players groaned but lined up none the less.
"If only we had Richard or Laura..." Linz said.
"Or a computer..." Nikki Lynn said.
"Here," Hades said as a computer materialized next to him.
Linz quickly logged on to AIM hoping... praying that... "Yes!" she cried as she double clicked to send an IM:
(Denny Fan) EM!! do you still have your karaoke HD music?
(EmileJ) Yeah... but I thought you already downloaded it?
(Denny Fan) I did, but I'm not home right now...
(EmileJ)Well, where are you? :)
(Denny Fan) you wouldn't believe me if I told you!... But I really need it quickly!
(EmileJ) Ok, here comes :)
The music downloaded quickly and Linz was just about to start playing it when they heard a loud screech saying, "STOP!!"
Hades gasped because Hera had said it.
Linz and Nikki Lynn gasped because Wax was standing next to her...
Nikki_Lynn
"These infidels are to be sent to Tartaurus!" Hera's voice rang out. Wax grinned gleefully at his brother.
"Perhaps," said Hades, "But I haven't decided yet."
"I am the *queen* of the gods..." Hera began...
"And *I* and the king of the Underworld!" Hades countered, glaring at her. Hera narrowed her eyes.
"We shall see what Zeus has to say about this," Hera replied, and vanished, only to reappear moments later, Zeus at her side.
"Why must you bring me into your petty squabbles?" asked the king of the gods.
"Mighty Zeus," Hades said, bowing slightly, "I would ask you to remind your queen that the underworld is *my* domain, and *I* say who goes where down here!"
"Zeus," Hera crooned, slinking up to him, practically throwing herself against him, "These lowly creatures should be in Tartaurus... I was only looking out for *our* best interests."
"Enough!" cried Zeus, "The underworld is Hades' domain. They shall plead their case, and Hades will pass judgement!"
With that, Zeus disappeared in a flash of light. Hera folded her arms, not pleased at all, narrowing her eyes at Wax.
"Of course, your grace," Hades said, addressing Hera, "You are more than welcome to stay and watch..."
"I wouldn't miss it," Hera replied, sitting down, and dragging Wax along with her.
"If they go free..." Hera threatened quietly to Wax.
"Not to worry, oh great Hera," Wax replied, "I will make sure that they do not..."
Linz quickly started the hoedown music...
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