The Gods are Crazy - Part 3

By Linz and Nikki_Lynn

Linz
...As Wax slinked around behind Linz and unplugged the computer just as Greg was about to start.
     "Hey!" Nikki Lynn called. But by that time Wax was all ready by Hera's side.
     "What are we going to do Linz?" Nikki Lynn whispered, "The hoedown is the best part."
     "As much as I hate to, I think we need Laura..."
     "Don't do that..." Wayne said.
     "Then what are we going to do?" Linz asked.
     "I play piano..." Brad said.
     "No, you're too funny, Brad!" Nikki Lynn said, "You have to sing!"
     "So what are we going to do?" Linz asked.
     "Well, Wax plays piano, too..." Wayne added.
     Everyone turned to look at him.
     "I'm sorry..." Hera said, her words oozing with cruelty, "This one is with me..."
     Wax looked at them and shrugged with a smile.
     "What are we going to do?" Colin asked.
     "We could try it accapella..." Wayne suggested.
     "Well, that maybe fine and dandy for you and Bradley, but well, I am simply not that talented..." Ryan responded.
     Nikki Lynn slinked around behind Hades' throne... she was trying to get behind Hera, if she could just reach...

Nikki_Lynn
...the goddess without being seen, perhaps she could show Hades that Hera was trying to undermine the performance. She moved silently into a position directly behind Hera and Wax... Because of the ongoing discussion about what to do about the hoedown, only Linz had noticed. She suddenly noticed the unplugged computer. Moving quickly, she pluged it back in and watched as it rebooted... Then she got an idea. She clicked on one of the icons on the desktop, and in a swift motion grabbed something from along side the computer and shoved it in her pocket.
     'Just keep them busy until I can trip them up,' Nikki Lynn thought, as she looked over at Linz, who was inconspicuously watching her. She moved back to Hera and Wax, listening closely to the whispered conversation between the two, and at the same time, pulling the object from her back pocket...
     "This isn't going to stall them for long," Hera hissed.
     "Not to worry," Wax replied, "I can keep them at a standstill for as long as necessary."
     "Just remember," said Hera, "If they go free..."
     "I know..." Wax sighed, "You'll send me into ever-lasting torment in Tartaurus."
     "What was that?" asked Hera.
     "What?" Wax whispered back.
     "Our voices... They sound..."
     Hera turned around and saw Nikki Lynn smiling at the two of them, the microphone from the computer in her hand...
     "Amplified?" Nikki Lynn finished for her. Hera turned back to the others in the room. All eyes were on her and Wax.
     "So!" said Hades, "You've been setting them up... Hoping I won't release them. That's low, Hera... Even for you."

Linz
     "Is it now?" she glared back, trying not to fidget, "You don't think this is a lot like deja vu?"
     "How so?" Hades said as he crossed his arms.
     "Don't these... these... MORTALS remind you of Sisyphus?"
     "What kind of ambrosia have you been sniffing, Hera?"
     "You don't think they are trying to cheat death?"
     "No!" Hades said, becoming more and more angry at Hera, "You brought them here!"
     Linz walked over to Nikki Lynn and whispered, "It would not be good if they started full on fighting..."
     "I know!" Nikki Lynn responded. "But what can we do?"
     Linz gulped and walked over to where the god and goddess were still arguing. "Excuse me," she said, a little quieter then she normally was. But there was no response from the two. "Excuse Me?" she said raising her voice a bit. Still no response, but by this time, Nikki Lynn joined her. So both, at the top of their lungs screamed, "EXCUSE ME!"
     Everyone turned to look at them, and Linz cleared her throat "Thank you... um, I have reason to believe that HE deserves to be in Tartaurus more then these gentlemen..." Linz said motioning.
     "How so?" Hades asked.
     "For all that he has put ALL of us through" Nikki Lynn added.
     "That's right!" said Mel, leaving the rock she was hiding behind.
     "Mel!" Linz exclaimed "What are you doing here?!?"
     "That doesn't matter now..." Mel responded.
     "Didn't we tell you to go home with Aphrodite?" Nikki Lynn scolded, but was still glad to see her friend.
     Linz brought Mel forward after they all hugged, "Doesn't this prove we are not trying to cheat death?"
     "Yes, if we were trying to cheat death, why did she come back?"
     Hera glanced at Hades who was seemingly being swayed, so she demanded, "First of all, you have not proved why this man deserves to go to Tartaurus more then these men, and second, we still have not heard your hoedown..."
     "Oh!" Linz cried running over to the computer.
     "Robbing the bank hoedown, starting with Greg and ending with Ryan... any objections?" Nikki Lynn asked, everyone remained silent so Linz started the music...

Nikki_Lynn
     Hera stood glaring as Greg began to sing...
     "Oh I needed money... so this is what I did... I went into a bank... Dressed up like a little kid... It didn't really work, though... It's really kinda sad... The guard dragged me away by the ear and then he called my dad..."
     Nikki Lynn giggled as Greg pouted in mock distress. She glanced over at Hades, who was also laughing... Brad began his hoedown, and then Wayne and Colin, and by the time they reached Ryan, Hades had tears streaming down his face... Hera on the other hand stood, her anger visibly growing. Nikki Lynn nudged Linz with her elbow.
     "I don't think Hera's too happy..."
     "I don't think Wax is too happy either," Linz said, a certain look of satisfaction on her face. She glanced over at Persephone, who until now had been watching silently... now she joined her husband in his enjoyment of the show. Finally, they reached the end of the hoedown, all five of them echoing Ryan's last line...
     "My Swiss bank account!!!" they sang, as the music ended. Hades had to force himself to stop laughing before he could speak.
     "Ahem... It is my opinion that these five mortals have been wrongly sentanced to Tartaurus... I therefore command that they be sent back to there world, along with their young friends," Hades declared. He raised his hand, preparing to send them home.
     "WAIT!!!" shouted Hera.
     "Oh, what now?" came Hades' annoyed reply.
     "These infidels," she said, motioning to Nikki Lynn, Mel, and Linz, "Have made an accusation against one of my followers."
     "Followers?" Nikki Lynn commented under her breath, "Yeah right..."
     "They therefore must prove this accusation to be true, or suffer for lying to a god!" Hera continued.
     "She's right," Hades sighed, "Have you any proof that this man, Wax, deserves to be in Tartaurus?"
     "Proof? You want proof?" said Mel, "I'll show you proof..."
     She walked over to the computer and accessed the Brady Bunch Page, and clicked on the fan fiction link.
     "There's your proof," she said, "We've cronicled everything Wax has ever done to us... Everything from sucking us into cyber-space to trying to steal our souls by attcking us in our dreams!"
     Hades glared at Wax. "Is this true?" he asked, "And keep in mind that we have *severe* punishment for those who lie to the gods..."
     Wax swallowed the lump in his throat...

Linz
     "Well, look at this!" he declared, "Fan FICTION, indicating that not a word of it is true!"
     "That is not what I asked..." Hades' voice was booming now.
     Wax looked down at the floor and mumbled something, Linz heard what he said though, and taunted, "I don't think they heard you in the ba-ack!"
     Wax whipped his head up to glare at her, she was startled by his sudden movement, but smiled nonetheless. His face finally met with Hades', and he said, "Yes, all of it is true..."
     "Well, that certainly is interesting..." Hades said while glancing over the pages...
     Wax was about to say something to his defence when he clicked on the last part of their unfinished MB story "But what is this?... Wax, HELPING the Brady Bunch?"
     "What?!?" Mel, Nikki Lynn, and Linz all cried.
     "And by the way..." Hera said, grabbing Mel's arm "Didn't I already send you home?"
     "Yes..." Mel sheepishly replied.
     "You see?" Hera cried. "She was going to sneak them all out!"
     "No! That's not it at all!"
     Hera lowered her eyes until she stared directly into Mel's, "Then what are you doing here?" she said in measured tones...

Nikki_Lynn
     Mel narrowered her eyes, furious at the accusational tone in Hera's voice.
     "I am here to help my friends," she replied.
     "Ha! You expect us to believe that?" Hera laughed, "And what about Wax helping you... You admit that in your own story!"
     "That story is unfinished," Nikki Lynn spoke up, "And if you had read a bit more carefully, you would have known that Wax was only helping us because he was under the influence of a magic spell... Which eventually wore off. We just haven't gotten that far in the story yet."
     Hades turned to Wax again, "Is that true?"
     Wax glared at the girls. His plan was falling apart, yet he didn't dare lie to a god.
     "Well?!" Hades demanded.
     "Yes, it's true," Wax said through clenched teeth.
     "Everything this man does is malicious," said Linz, "He's been trying to kill us practically since the day we met him."
     Nikki Lynn glanced back at Wayne. He seemed somehow uncomfortable at this discussion of his brother. Mel noticed it, too.
     "Nikki... What's with Wayne?" Mel whispered, as Linz continued her argument against Wax.
     "Dunno... But cruel as Wax has been... He *is* still Wayne's brother..."
     "Oh God, I didn't even think of that," Mel replied, "We're here trying to condemn his brother the Tartaurus, and..."
     "And Wayne, I'm sure, doesn't really want that... I know I wouldn't if I were in his place. That's quite a burden to carry, even if Wax is trying to get rid of all of us," said Nikki Lynn.
     "Maybe we should try this from a new approach," said Mel.
     "What do you have in mind?"
     Mel smiled and then turned and tapped Linz on the shoulder, cutting her off in midsentence.
     "Excuse the interuption," she said, "But I need to speak with my friend for just a few moments..."
     Hades nodded, and Mel, Linz, and Nikki Lynn huddled up to discuss a new strategy.
     "What is it?" asked Linz, "I think I almost had him convinced!"
     "Yeah," said Nikki Lynn, "That's why we stopped you..."
     "What?!"
     "Look," said Mel, casting a quick glance over at the guys, "Wayne is really hurting 'cause of this... Wax may be evil and psychotic and cruel... and did I mention psychotic?... But he's still Wayne's brother..."
     "I doubt Wayne argue with us if we wanted to continue trying to get rid of Wax permanently..." Linz replied.
     "Yeah, you're probably right..." said Nikki Lynn, "But he'd still have to live with what we did..."
     Linz sighed, "Alright, I see your point... I take it you have an alternative?"
     "Yep," said Mel...

Linz
     "So shoot" Linz replied smiling.
     "Well you see... stop it Ryan..." Mel stared shrugging off the finger that tapped her.
     "Um, Mel?" Nikki Lynn said as she pointed behind her.
     "Can we help you Hermes?" Linz asked to the god floating behind Mel.
     "No," he said smiling, "But I think I can help you..."

Nikki_Lynn
     Wax looked positivly pale as Hades announced his sentance. Not a bad acting job, Linz mused.
     "You, Wax," thundered Hades, "Are hereby condemned to Tartaurus for all eternity."
     The god waved his hand and Wax disappeared from sight. Hera glared at the Brady Bunch and also vanished, not pleased with the outcome, but unable to argue with Hades' ruling.
     "And as for you," said Hades, "I should send all of you to Tartaurus as well... Condemning a man to eternal torment to save yourselves from the wrath of the gods..."
     'Oh crap,' thought Mel. But Hades suddenly smiled.
     "But I won't be doing that, will I, Hermes," Hades continued. Hermes grinned. Nikki Lynn, Linz, and Mel breathed a collective sigh of relief.
     "But I must admit, that man *does* deserve to stay there," Hades said.
     "As much as we'd love to have him out of our hair..." said Mel.
     "We just can't do that..." Nikki Lynn continued.
     "It would make us no better than him," Linz finished, "Geez, that's got to be the sappiest thing I've ever said..."
     "Very well," said Hades, "Wax will be released..."
     "Your grace," said Wayne, nervously, "Would it be possible to..."
     "To make your brother change his evil ways?" asked Hades. Wayne nodded, "No, I'm afraid not... He anger and jealously is too deeply rooted even for a god to change. But perhaps one day *you* can change him..."
     "What do you mean?" asked Wayne, "How? What do I have to do?"
     Hades smiled, "That is something you will have to figure out for yourself... I wish you luck in doing so, though you may never succeed. I shall return your brother to his home. He will remember nothing of this little adventure of yours."
     "Wait! Why can't you tell us how to change Wax?" Nikki Lynn cried.
     Hades just waved his arm, and the group vanished from the underworld...

Linz
... and appeared inside Linz's house.
     "How did we get here?" Linz said, looking around her room. Soon she heard Colin's voice saying "Fimu!" from her computer. She looked and she had recieved a new message:

          From: Pluto@elysianfields.underworld.org
          To:Locknestra@hotmail.com
          Subject: Glad you made it home safely!

          Good luck with Wax!
          The fates have assured me that down the line... well, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough...
          Hades

     "What do we make of that?" Nikki Lynn asked.
     "Well," Wayne said. "It looks as though many more adventures are in store for us..."
     "And hopefully..." Linz said, "No more run-in's with Hera! After her, Wax is NOTHING!"

Go back to the fan fic menu