WAITRESS: HI.
MAN: GOOD MORNING, ROSALIE. THE MEAL AND THE COMPANY WERE SO CHARMING THE OTHER DAY, I THOUGHT I'D SEE WHAT YOUR BREAKFASTS WERE LIKE.
ROSALIE: DID YOU HAPPEN TO BRING A DIFFERENT CREDIT CARD THIS TIME?
[MAN SIGHS]
MAN: I'M AFRAID NOT.
ROSALIE: NO, HUH?
MAN: BUT YOU WERE SO CLEVER ABOUT IT BEFORE.
ROSALIE: OH, I DON'T DARE. MANAGER'S HERE TODAY.
MAN: OH, WHAT A SHAME I MEAN, WE HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME.
ROSALIE: WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT TUSCANY, I FELT LIKE I WAS THERE. MAN: YEAH, I STARTED TELLING YOU ABOUT SWITZERLAND? YOU WERE ASKING ME ABOUT SKIING IN CHAMONIX. ROSALIE: BECAUSE I'VE READ ABOUT CHAMONIX. BUT YOU'VE BEEN THERE. MAN: OH, WELL -- ROSALIE: WAIT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO. I GOT PAID THIS MORNING. MAN: OH, NO -- ROSALIE: THIS WILL BE ON ME. MAN: NO, I COULDN'T LET YOU DO THAT, ROSALIE. ROSALIE: BE MY PLEASURE. REALLY. MAN: YOU TALKED ME INTO IT. AND, OF COURSE, I CAN RETURN THE FAVOR SOMETIME.
ROSALIE: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A MENU.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MAN: HELLO? VANESSA. YOU ARE? OH, WONDERFUL. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
ROSALIE: AND HOW WAS EVERYTHING?
MAN: EXCELLENT, ROSALIE.
ROSALIE: COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF? MAN: AH, MA CERTO.
ROSALIE: OH, I LOVE THE WAY ITALIAN SOUNDS. ESPECIALLY THE WAY THEY DO THEIR Rs. MAN: AH, TU SEI RAVISANTE, MA BELLE ROSALIE.
ROSALIE: DESSERT? MAN: WELL, THAT'S REALLY UP TO YOU. DO YOU HAVE BURGUNDY CHERRY ICE CREAM? IT'S ONE OF MY WEAKNESSES. ROSALIE: DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF THOSE? MAN: SKIP THE ICE CREAM, ROSALIE. THANK YOU, AND BRING ME MY CHECK. ROSALIE: YOUR CHECK? MAN: YEAH, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OK NOW. VANESSA: HELLO, DARLING. MAN: YOU LOOK GORGEOUS. VANESSA: OH. WELL, THIS CERTAINLY IS A LITTLE BIT OF A COMEDOWN FROM OUR COZY LITTLE CAFE IN MONTE CARLO.
MAN: OH, IT HAS ITS CHARMS. THE WAITRESS WAS GOING TO PAY FOR MY BREAKFAST.
VANESSA: OH, MY DARLING. YOU ARE SHAMELESS. SO, WHEN CAN WE GO TO YOUR HOTEL?
MAN: IN A BIT. THE MAIDS ARE CLEANING UP MY ROOM. I HAD A LITTLE PARTY LAST NIGHT. VANESSA: OH. AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME?
MAN: OH. I LOVE IT. HOW DID YOU KNOW I NEEDED ONE? VANESSA: BECAUSE, MY DARLING, THE FIRST THING YOU ALWAYS HOCK IS YOUR WATCH. HMM.
MAN: YOU'RE LIVING DANGEROUSLY, YOU KNOW. WHAT WOULD PALMER SAY IF HE FOUND OUT YOU WERE BUYING MEN'S JEWELRY?
VANESSA: OH, I'M ALREADY WAY AHEAD OF HIM. BESIDES, I BOUGHT ANOTHER ONE EXACTLY LIKE THAT FOR HIM IN CASE HE WANTS TO CHECK THE CREDIT CARD BILLS. MAN: YOU ARE SO CLEVER.
VANESSA: MM-HMM. MAN: BUT, THEN, YOU'VE HAD PLENTY OF PRACTICE. MAN2: WE FOLLOWED YOUR ORDERS, MR. CORTLANDT. YOUR WIFE WENT FROM THE AIRPORT TO A JEWELRY STORE ON MADISON AVENUE, THEN TO A CAFE IN SOHO. SHE'S THERE NOW.
PALMER: IS HE WITH HER? MAN2: YES. PALMER: WHAT ARE THEY DOING? MAN2: MRS. CORTLANDT IS WHISPERING SOMETHING IN THE MAN'S EAR. I GUESS IT'S VERY FUNNY BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH LAUGHING.
[VOICES LAUGH MOCKINGLY]
MAN: WE'RE GOING TO STAY A LITTLE BIT LONGER. AND BRING US TWO SCOOPS OF BURGUNDY CHERRY ICE CREAM WITH TWO LONG SPOONS. VANESSA: MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM. OH. MAN2: NOW MRS. CORTLANDT IS HANDING HIM SOME CASH. AND THEY'RE LAUGHING SOME MORE.
VANESSA: MMM. MMM, MMM, MMM.
[VANESSA LAUGHS]
MAN2: NOW THEY'RE FEEDING EACH OTHER ICE CREAM. MRS. CORTLANDT IS WIPING THE YOUNG MAN'S LIPS WITH HER FINGER. PALMER: DISGUSTING! MAN2: NO ARGUMENT THERE. PALMER: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? TAKE THEM. MAN2: MR. CORTLANDT, IT'S A PUBLIC PLACE.
PALMER: THEY'RE MAKING A SPECTACLE OF THEMSELVES. STOP THEM. MAN2: IT WOULD BE A LITTLE AWKWARD RIGHT HERE IN THE CAFE. I'VE GOT MY PEOPLE STATIONED OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR. IT'S BETTER TO WAIT UNTIL THEY LEAVE. PALMER: I DON'T CARE WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOU. THEY ARE HUMILIATING ME IN A PUBLIC PLACE.
MAN: MARTY. FIVE-MINUTE WARNING. WHEN MRS. C AND HER SQUEEZE TOY HIT THE STREET, GRAB THEM, GAG THEM, AND GET THEM INTO THE CAR. CAREFUL HITTING THE SPEED BUMPS. PRETTY BOY LOOKS LIKE HE BRUISES EASY.
VANESSA: OH, MY. THE LEATHER SUITS YOU, DARLING. MAN: HMM? VANESSA: MM-HMM. MAN: I'M HAVING ANOTHER ONE MADE IN VICUNA. VANESSA: OOH. VICUNA. AND HOW DO YOU PLAN TO PAY FOR THAT? MAN: I'VE BEEN A VERY GOOD BOY. VANESSA: OH. CAREFUL, SWEETHEART. I'LL THINK YOU ONLY LOVE ME FOR MY MONEY. MAN: WELL, FOR YOUR MONEY AND ALL THE PLEASURE IT CAN BUY. VANESSA: HMM. YOU EVIL BOY. BUT THEN, ONE LOOK IN THOSE SOULFUL EYES AND I TURN TO PUTTY, AND YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU? MAN: WHAT DID YOU SEE? VANESSA: DRAT MY LUCK. OF ALL THE PLACES IN NEW YORK, THEY HAVE TO STROLL IN HERE. MAN: PAPARAZZI? VANESSA: RESTLESS NATIVES, DARLING, FROM PINE VALLEY. MAN: TURISTAS. BIG YAWN. VANESSA: OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. THAT HAPPENS TO BE ADAM CHANDLER'S DAUGHTER. MAN: THE GUY LOOKS FAMILIAR. WAS HE AT DONATELLA'S SHOW IN MILAN LAST SPRING? VANESSA: HARDLY. HE'S NOT EVEN A MODEL. HE'S SOMETHING IN MARKETING. LISTEN, LEO, PAY ATTENTION. I KNOW THESE PEOPLE, AND WHAT'S EVEN WORSE, THEY KNOW ME. AND IF WE'RE SPOTTED IN PUBLIC, THIS COULD RUIN EVERYTHING WITH PALMER -- PLEASE -- AND --
VANESSA: WELL, THAT'S IT. I SIMPLY HAVE TO MAKE AN ESCAPE WITHOUT BEING NOTICED, IF I CAN. LEO: THIS SOUNDS LIKE A BAD FILM, BUT IS THERE A BACK WAY OUT? WAITRESS: THROUGH THE KITCHEN. STIFF ME AND DIE. VANESSA: DARLING, HERE. NO, NO, NO. YOU WAIT RIGHT HERE. I THINK IT'S BEST IF I JUST PRETEND TO GO TO THE LADIES' ROOM AND SLIP OUT NICE AND QUIETLY. AND I WILL CALL YOU LATER. MAN: EXCUSE ME, HONEY, BUT WHERE DOES THAT GO?
WAITRESS: LADIES' ROOM.
LEO: THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE.
MAN: IF YOU SAY SO, PAL. LEO: I'M DEAD SERIOUS. YOU SNATCHED THE WRONG GUY. I MEAN, I'M OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR BRAD OR -- MAN: SHUT UP, LOSER. WE KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
LEO: TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU LET ME GO, YOU CAN HAVE MY WATCH. IT'S THE ONLY THING I GOT THAT'S WORTH ANYTHING. EXCEPT MY CLOTHES, BUT THEY'D NEVER FIT YOU. NOT WITH THOSE PECS. MAN: WHAT'S HIS GAG DOING OFF? SECOND MAN: THE LIMO'S SOUNDPROOF. LEO: LOOK, IT'S BEEN A BLAST, REALLY. BUT YOU PICKED UP THE WRONG GUY. I'M NOT WORTH A DIME. BUT I DO KNOW ALL THE CLUBS IN MANHATTAN WHERE THE CELEBS HANG. IF YOU WANT TO KIDNAP SOMEBODY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY ONE WITH MONEY. MAN: SHUT UP. LEO: WHAT IS THAT? MAN: SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU QUIET. SECOND MAN: HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE THAT STUFF TO WORK? LEO: UH-UH. MAN: 10 SECONDS, TOPS. LEO: NO -- NO WAY. I AVOID NEEDLES WHENEVER POSSIBLE! MAN: HOLD ON. LEO: NO!
[LEO SCREAMS] LEO: COME ON, GUYS. GIVE ME A BREAK. YOU WANT MONEY, I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY. JUST GIVE ME TILL TOMORROW. MAN: YOU DON'T HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW, PAL. IT ALL GOES DOWN TONIGHT. LEO: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? MAN: YOU'LL FIND OUT.
PETEY: YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! BECCA: COME HERE, I GOT -- LEO: HELP. HELP -- HELP ME.
MAN: DON'T BOTHER THE LADY. WE'RE HELPING YOU RIGHT IN HERE SO YOU CAN SLEEP THIS OFF. SECOND MAN: OUR FRIEND DOESN'T KNOW HIS LIMITS, YOU KNOW? A FEW BEERS TOO MANY. LEO: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I HAVEN'T HAD A DROP TO DRINK, I SWEAR. MAN: SEE WHAT WE MEAN? BECCA: COME ON, PETEY. LET'S GO SEE WHAT VIDEOS YOUR MOM RENTED.
PALMER: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM? HE'S INCOHERENT. MAN: A SEDATIVE. HE'LL COME AROUND. PALMER: I WANT HIM WIDE AWAKE WHEN I BRING MY WIFE UP HERE FOR THEIR REUNION.
[LEO SPEAKS UNINTELLIGIBLY]
PALMER: I DON'T BELIEVE IT. IT'S THE SAME WATCH MY WIFE GAVE ME. MAN: SHE LAID IT ON HIM WHEN THEY MET UP IN NEW YORK. VANESSA'S VOICE: I DO HAVE EXQUISITE TASTE, IF I SAY SO MYSELF.
[VOICE LAUGHS] PALMER: HOW DARE SHE! LEO: HEY. I KNOW YOU. YOU'RE HER OLD MAN.
[VOICES LAUGH] PALMER: HAND ME YOUR GUN.
BECCA: YOU KNOW WHAT? I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SICK, BUT I THINK THAT YOU'RE DRUNK OR YOU'RE HIGH OR SOMETHING, SO I'M JUST -- I'M GOING TO LEAVE, OK? LEO: HELP ME. PLEASE. I HAVE TO SAVE HER. I have to save her. I have to save her. LEO: PLEASE -- SAVE -- BECCA: PLEASE? PLEASE WHAT? I'M SORRY. YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE. WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO SAVE? YOU CAN'T EVEN SAVE YOURSELF? LEO: I NEED -- BECCA: YOU NEED --
LEO: I NEED -- BECCA: TO GO INTO REHAB. AND I NEED TO GO BACK TO THE LITTLE BOY I'M BABYSITTING. LEO: I NEED -- BECCA: YOU NEED TO -- YOU NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP. COME ON, YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DO THIS TO YOURSELF. LEO: HELP.
LEO: HELP ME. BECCA: OK, LOOK, I'M REALLY TRYING TO. BUT IF YOU'LL JUST -- IF YOU'LL LET GO OF ME -- LEO: TAKE ME. BECCA: YOU'RE IN NO CONDITION TO GO DOWNSTAIRS. I CAN GET VANESSA FOR YOU. LEO: NO, ME -- I GO. PLEASE.
BECCA: OK, OK, OK, OK. OH, OH, OH, COME ON. STAND UP. YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO GET FIRED FOR THIS. BUT -- PUT YOUR ARM AROUND MY NECK. HOLD STEADY. AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO VANESSA. BECCA: EASY. COME ON. KEEP GOING. LEO: HOW FAR? BECCA: WE'RE ALMOST TO THE ELEVATOR. IT'S RIGHT THERE. LEO: HURRY, PLEASE. BECCA: I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING. JUST STAY ON YOUR FEET. CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS.
BECCA: EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME LEO: VANESSA -- VANESSA: MY GOD, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MY SON? DAVID, DAVID, DO SOMETHING! WILL YOU HELP YOUR BROTHER?
PALMER: YOUR SON? NO!
[SCREAMS] [LOUD SCREAMS]