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A  GLIMPSE
Copy Right 1999 Ginger Johnson
All Rights Reserved

     She was just beyond my glaze. Try as I might I couldn't see her, but I knew she was there. Just as she knew I was behind her. I could tell by her tracks in the half-gone snow she hadn't picked up her pace. Was there no fear or was there some other reason she didn't worry about the distance between us?

     I had spotted her unique tracks weeks ago. Her tracks weren't straight, her balance perhaps thrown off somewhat by the toes she was missing on her left rear. She was huge, if the length of her stride was anything to go by. They were twice the length of mine and at 5'8" I was considered tall for a woman from my village.

     Several times I came across small patches of white hair tipped in black among the sleeping branches of the brush. She left traces of her hide among the crevices of the great pines. Traces of blood marked leaves from a meal grabbed on the run.

     Time didn't have meaning anymore. Days ran into each other, a sunrise replaced by a sunset. I'd given up trying to keep track of the distance we traveled. Obsession took hold of me. A single glance was all I wanted, just a glimpse at the creature I followed.

    She took me into places I'd never been. Visions followed me and a nightmare or two. I rested when she rested, which was never long enough. My mind turned sluggish and my motions slowed, but the taste for a look at her burned bright. A hunger I needed to feed.

     I, no longer, tried to silence my movements. There was no reason. She made no effort to hide her trail, why should I?

     Spring hadn't arrived. Traces of snow and cold lingered in the air. My heavy parka kept the worst off of me. Hiking boots and woolen socks protected my toes. Somewhere a long the way my gloves had disappeared, but there wasn't much reason to take my hands out of my pockets. Within those depths, they remained warm.

     I could feel the skin on my heels rub away. My family was probably worried about me. I'd only meant to be away for a few hours. How long had I been gone? Days? Weeks? I could safely say it hadn't been months. How much weight had I lost? When had my belly held something besides the brambleberries I brushed by? Fingers crusted with blood left from the thorns that protected the soft fruit.

     What hold had she on me? Why did I blindly follow where she led?

     The icy cold seeped into my joints and muscles. Each day gave me less mobility in my limbs. I tried to swing them vigorously, but that required removing them from my coat and I found myself doing it less and less. I tried to keep my legs moving briskly. Strides even, thoughts of picking up my knees, stretching running through my mind, but the cold made more than shuffling painful. The sores on my heels matched ones formed on the thin, tender skin of my ankles.

     She was not far ahead of me. A vision lost in the whiteness. I wondered if she faired better than I. A foolish thought. Nature prepared her for this world, I was the foreigner. Soft from civilization. She wouldn't be lame as I was; she wouldn't be faint with hunger, as she'd eaten lightly. Did she tease me? Why did she tempt me? How did I know she even existed?

      I stumbled. Toes numb. Fingers deaden. She was there just beyond the trees, watching me from their depths. How did I know it was a she? Why couldn't it be a male? What about her captured me, put me in such a mindless hunt?

     Crisp mountain air cut through my lungs. My eyes burned from the bright mid-day sun, tears trailed from their corners. How long would she entice me to follow? Was I to become one of her meals? Was she waiting for me to weaken? Would my family ever find me? How would they know where to look? Had I left a trail?

     A rest. A moment to catch my breath, that's what I need. Just a moment. Can't close my eyes or they might never open again. Can't close my eyes, I might miss a glimpse of her.