What am I?

I, like most of the people in the queer community, hate labels. However, in order for others to understand what I am, the easiest path to follow is that of labels. If I had to label myself, I’d say I am something like what follows:

A transgendered  androgynous  sissy  boidyke  butch ...

Transgendered, rather than transsexual.

I was born with two X chromosomes. Biologically, that means I am a female. I have female genitalia, and during puberty I developed secondary sexual traits that are typical of females, such as breasts. I am a biogirl, my body is female. That is my sex, and im (almost completely) fine with that, which is exactly why I am not transsexual.
If I were transsexual, I would dislike my body, and would want to change it to that of a bioguy, a male. I’d resort to hormones and surgery to do that. Hysterectomy (removal of the uterus), oopheroctomy (removal of the ovaries), mastectomy (removal of the breasts) and finally, methoidoplasty (surgery to try and make the clitoris more like a penis) and testicular implants. I can deal with my body being female. I am ok with having breasts, and I would very much rather have a vulva than testicles. And I can always use a strap-on and pretend its my dick, if it comes to that. However, I cannot stand society’s black or white view on gender. Over half the time I don’t feel feminine, but I don’t feel a 100% masculine either. To most people, either you are one or the other. Despite being raised as a girl (and to be a woman), I do not see myself as one, but I don’t feel like a man either. I feel like im somewhere between those two extremes, not exactly in the middle either, because it flows.
To me, gender is something like mood. A little less flowing, perhaps, but very similar. I usually wake up feeling like im in a particular point in the gender scale, and most of the time it remains that way throughout the day. Some times I wake up feeling very masculine, and wondering where the hell my dick is, some others I wake up feeling feminine and loving every womanly curve on my body. Most of the time, however, I wake up feeling neither to an extreme; this is the most usual me. Androgynous, almost always leaning to slightly masculine. Which takes me to the next point.
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Androgynous

As I said, gender flows, at least to me. I have tried to make a point in that my being transgendered serves me for something. That something is to take the best out of both worlds, female and male, femininity (yes, I checked and that’s how it’s spelled) and masculinity, and the best way to do that is to stand between both worlds.
I am no longer ashamed to have a female body, but I refuse to flaunt it, and prefer to pass as male. Strangers treat you differently if you are a man than if you are a woman. Despite women’s stronger presence in the past years, we still live in a male-chauvinistic society, and its clear by the way you’re treated. Men see women as objects, women see men as intimidating, most of the time anyway. I try my best to keep away from that, by staying ‘in disguise’.
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Sissy

Even if I look mostly male, I hate the macho stereotype. If I were a man, I would not have a problem with being thought of as flamboyantly gay. I hate that men are supposed to be strong all the time, that men are not supposed to cry, that men are to be brave, and all the shit like that. If im afraid of bugs, im certainly not afraid to go yelping out the door for someone to come kill the damned thing. Even if I like to be viewed as male, I hate that men don’t hug (-real- heartfelt hugs), men don’t kiss each other on the cheek, men don’t need help. I like kissing my friends on the cheek, whether they are male or female. I like hugging the people I care, and im not afraid to ask for help when im not capable of handling something on my own, whether it be reach a high shelf, carry a heavy box, or anything else. So, I guess if I were a male, I’d be called a sissy quite often.
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Boidyke

If I had to define myself as either girl, boy, woman or man, I would most definitely choose boy. That’s what I best fit in. Even as a kid, I was more or less a regular tomboy, not a fan of dolls or fake makeup at all. And I definitely don’t feel like either a woman or a man, so I think boy is the best label I would bit as. But of course, im not a real boy, so I’ll have to settle with boi.
That label is related to boyish males, to boyish females and, most important, to females that wish to achieve a male look, but to achieve this is really hard, most of the time we just end looking like, well, boys. I think this is basically because even if they dress like a man, women tend to be shorter and thinner, very much like a boy before hitting puberty. Women do not normally have lots of muscle mass, boys don’t either, they get it after puberty, when becoming men. Women have higher-pitched voices than men, boys do too, until testosterone changes their voice. Women have delicate body hair, as do boys, until hormones turn that peach fuzz into beard and body hair. So, in many aspects, it is much simpler for a woman to look like a boy than to look like a man.
This concept of BOI is explained to a greater degree in an interesting article recently published in the New York magazine, and though i dont fully agree with all it says (or at least most of it doesnt apply to -my- concept of boi), it is a good start to better understanding the concept. You can find that article here:"Where the bois are".
Several occasions, I’ve had no trouble passing as a male, but people think I look much younger than I am, simply because I have the look of a boy that is just going into puberty. That can be a great disadvantage, for instance, when going to R rated movies and the like. Things that are supposed to be for adults, and you look like a kid in jr high.
However, I like the boi label. And, of course, with it comes the explaining that im not a boyish male, but a lesbian, hence the boidyke.
A definition of boidyke i find closer to my own can be found here, at the page of a fellow transgender.
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Butch/femme