Another week has passed. It's hard to believe that Christmas is less than 3 weeks away. I have so much left to do. I plan on baking all day Sunday, so at least that will get a big part of that project over with.
I can tell I am in a "mood". Usually the idea of baking is a joy for me and I have just refered to it in the above paragraph as a "project". I guess that when things you enjoy begin to turn into "projects" one needs to do some serious evaluations of their mental and physical barometers.
And yet, all in all the week has been a good one. I got quite a bit done and have even felt pretty healthy for a change. Of course, I ate just enough to gain 2 pounds - so I am depressed about that, but that shouldn't be causing me to feel down! One thing I have noticed this week though, is that it has been very hard to concentrate on this web site. I think my mind has gone into some type of computer overload. I have done so much with the e-mail list (private stuff) and with my office web page (work stuff), that I just don't even want to input what little I am to fill this day's entry up. And this really disappointments me. It was not my intention to create this site to "fill in the blanks" so to speak. I guess maybe I am just tired.
Maybe a good weekend off will help. Maybe some down time, just for me will help. Problem is......it used to always be my writing that "pulled me out of my doldrums". One thing I know is effecting me is I have almost no time to read. Yeah, sure, I have done a couple of books on tape while I knit, but, for some reason the actual exercise of reading seems to stimulate, yet calm my mind. Lately, I have just been too busy to read and by the time I get to bed--to tired to read.
It must be the holidays that have caused the interruption in my routine. And Dad. It just seems like lately, I have had no time to just sit. Or just sit and read. It's almost like I have to schedule even my down time and I just can't do that and really enjoy it.
I know I am more tired than usual because I have been trying to stay up more. My time is really only my time at night after everyone is in bed. Then I answer to no one. And there is silence.
For instance, last night, I slept on the sofa and watched the fireplace burn as I fell asleep. Now granted, I slept out there because I was wary of leaving it unattending, but that time was so special. The room was illuminated only by the oranges, reds and yellows of the fire. There was no noise - even the fire was quiet except for an occassion hiss. I was really enjoying it, but then I fell asleep! I would have loved to have sat there for hours and hours, drinking in every detail of that fire and its effects upon my the character and form of my living room, but instead, I collapsed into sleep.
But I must remember it is now Friday! And with any kind of luck all the shows that Keith and I watch, like the true couch potatoes we sometimes are, will be new, not reruns, and actually interesting. And being Friday, I must remember that the weekend has arrived. And I must keep telling myself there will be a few hours somewhere in this weekend that can be stolen away from the maintenance of *his* home and *my* home and *the laundry* and *the marketing* and *the trips to the pharmacy* and *the inevitable argument* which will erupt when I try to get Pop to take a shower and wash his hair and........Oh, golly. I just have to stop this and *know* that it will be a good weekend.
Who knows? It could actually happen
Oh, and if you are reading this. I apologize for the content, or should I say...the dismall lack thereof! I just can't be entertaining, insightful, thoughtful, funny or clever one more time today. I spent all that on my work environment and everyone went home in good spirits. I just don't have any left in me. I just need to be quiet now.
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