It Is Friday
Ha! I made it. Barely. I didn't even put on makeup this morning. But I am at work and I know that this is the last day I will be here until December 29th. I can *definitely* handle this. :)
I suddenly realized, last night, while contemplating all those last minute gifts that still needed to be purchased, that I had everything I ever wanted. This occurred around 10:30 p.m. while Keith and I were getting settled in for the night. I usually make it under the covers quicker than him; he will still be brushing his teeth. While I wait for him to come to bed, I will lay down and beginning reading one of a multitude of books which sit on my bedside stand. I use a little "BookLight" which also serves to guide Keith from the bath to the bed. Once he makes it to the bed, he will then tuck our little dog Buddy in, who sleeps in this giant "Cowboys" blanket on the floor close by. This evening ritual takes, ummm, say 5 minutes. We both then settle into our respective sleep positions and, after saying goodnight and giving each other "pecks" on the cheeks, drift into our respective dream worlds.
Last night, as we went through this familiar ritual, something a little different happened. I paid attention. I watched as my soul mate went about his little routine and quietly slipped into bed. And I experienced that little "peck" that has become so much an automatic action for both of us. Last night, after our peck and before rolling over and slipping off to sleep, Keith wrapped his arms around me and we just lay there, snuggling in the darkened bedroom, which was illuminated only by the white Christmas lights reflecting through our patio window. And, as I lay there, watching the light dancing off of the ceiling, I suddenly realized the wealth I had. This man, who has managed to raise my two boys through adolescence and who now co-cares for my father, is a jewel beyond my wildest wishes, and deserves all the cherishing I can muster.
As a young girl I used to fantasize about the very bedtime routine just described. It was, in my young mind, the epitome of where I wanted to be someday; close and safe in the company of the man I loved. And here I am, yet I sometimes forget to really experience, (getting so wrapped up in the day to day struggles,) the Love that exists between my mate and I. It is an unspoken understanding that there exists no future for either of us unless we are together; a kind of complete confidence in the other person's devotion. And I think, because this feeling is so comfortable that it is easy for us to take it for granted, for it to almost blend in to the fabric of our everyday lives without much recognition.
But thankfully sometimes, like last night, something will jar my muddled brain and cause me to reflect on all that I have in this other familiar soul. And I will realize how fortunate I am, in spite of all the day to day struggles, to have a mate such as Keith to be my best friend, my comforter in sorrow, and my proponent in laughter. And knowing this makes the future, with all its difficulties and uncertainties, something to look forward to, not dread. Because as uncertain as the future may be, I know with complete certainty, that I will not have to face it alone. I was Blessed with a soul mate and travel companion of sorts, who will never leave me as we careen through space and time into the future that awaits us both.
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