What is the MATTER with me?

I am beginning to think I had better lay off playing around this with site much longer.  I am starting to obsess more and more about the way I want the front page to look.  Again.   Hmmmmmm.  Let's see.  Including today, I have changed it four times.  (I think)  I just can't stop!!!!!!!!!!

The problem is that I can't get the "look" I want.   I am ecstatic about the journal index and the journal entry backgrounds.  I worked for a long time on the last "look", but somehow it looked so "cleancut" and stuffy!  I guess that is why I finally just gave up and put the journal index background on the frontpage.  (Wonder how long it will take me to change that now.)

I feel myself slowly getting back to a more normal rhythm in my life.  I am not sure why, or for that matter, where the calm is coming from--I am just extremely grateful it is there.  I think a large part of it really has to do with writing.   (And messin' around with the graphics.)  On further consideration--I guess you could say I have been playing around.  And nothing soothes a bruised and tired soul like a little playing!

I have never really thought about it before (or if I have, with my limited memory don't remember) but the more my life crowds in on me, the less I time I take to play.   Even the things I enjoy--the writing, the crocheting, the reading--it all begins to feel like work.  It is such a vicious circle to be in; I am grateful I am beginning to come out of it! 

What I need is a vacation.

When I was younger, vacations where quite the thing.  It seemed like every family I knew went on a vacation.  Now, in my adult life, I can honestly say I have never really gone on a vacation--and sadly enough--not really taken my boys on one when they were young. 

Nope! Now, vacation time is spent for necessities.  With so many of us working, and allowed only a given amount of "days" that can be taken without either our salaries being "docked" or the boss giving the "evil eye"--there is often no time left for "fun"-----or even relaxation and rest. 

I know for me, this is a truism.  When the boys were growing up and money was tight (when isn't it?)--too many days of "flus" and "chickenpox"---ate up what little time I was allowed.  And now, as an adult-----shoot!  I get sick myself at least once a year, usually with the  killer "knock her down and keep her down" flu.    Poof.  All my sick leave is gone (which consists of 6 days a year).  A few episodes of phone repairmen, cable installers, plumbers, furniture deliveries--and my vacation is pretty much gone too!  While one envisions most folks vacationing in Florida, or some such warm place, I usually end up spending extended amounts of time waiting for repair/service men to show up. (Why is it that their time is valuable--never a call after 5:00 p.m. unless overtime is charged---but my time is expendable?)

Oh boy.  I'm starting to whine again.  And here I had promised myself I would behave.

Whining aside.  It is true.   Most of us have become so caught up in life, we can't take the time out to enjoy it. 

I am going to see if I can schedule a vacation for next year.  Just hubby and me.   Maybe my sister can watch Pop for us.  Now....to decide where to go!

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