Knightgale's Raging Fire
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This Internet Force Against Child Abuse Net Ring
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The fire still burns tho it has been many years ago. I am a survivor of child abuse.
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I have wanted to tell my story for many years, but because of tremendous fear,growing up in the horrible years, my brother and I lived in silence. No sexual abuse, but the horrific physical and extreme mental abuse we both endured will forever burn in my soul. The bitterness and anger within me burns like a raging fire. The abuse endured is so horrific. I have had and still do have nightmares from years past. As a small child, I had a stepfather, very domineering and do feel my mother was afraid of him. She had two small babies on her hands and no where else to go or no one to turn to. My hearts bleeds thinking of those terrible years my mother had to endure just as a matter of survival!!! My biggest problem was I had wet the bed every nite of my life in my growing up years, was so punished severely every day for this. The punishment was so cruel, maggots was my bed, I had to sleep wherever I could find, for years slept on the floor for the bed was rotted away and infested with maggots, the abuse created a hatred and bitterness, that I still live with today, THAT'S THE RAGING FIRE!!!!!! The beatings with anything he could get his hands, made to chew rags with my own urine, drink my own urine, made to put my feet in the human feces at the outhouse all day long without food or water. (I was quite small, first grade) Feet and hands tied and hung from the ceiling and beat til blood ran off my body, then the rope was cut above my head and I dropped to the floor like a side of meat. Then kicked and cursed at, telling me to get up, but I could not. Poured table salt in and rubbed into all my wounds!! Was made to sleep on the floor where a snake had just fallen from the ceiling. Was tied to a chair and threaten to beat me if I did not tell the truth above the fifty cents I had, my stepfather said I stole it, but in truth, a friend gave it to me, but he swore I stole it, and to keep from getting beaten, I LIED AND TOLD HIM, YES I STOLE IT!!!! My brother had been beaten unmericifully because he could not swallow some large pills. My own mother kept beating and kept beating him, and I was there screaming please stop, mama, please stop!!!! There were no child abuse laws when we were growing up. We were afraid to tell anyone, living in daily constant FEAR!! I finally ran away from home once, only to have to go back, for I was not of legal age. So that is the only thing I was waiting for, and when I WAS within the legal age, I left home to NEVER RETURN. When we reached the high school age, and the rest of our class was having parties, games, cookouts, going places and doing things as teenagers, it was not allowed. It was all work and no play. If the neighbor kids came over to play, he would run them off. He refused to pay for our graduation rings, caps and gowns. I went to the prinicpal and talked with him about it, asking him to help me make money to buy my ring, and pay rental fees for the graduation cap and gown. I worked for him for almost the whole year just to get 24.56 to pay for my graduation ring. I SWORE AND TOOK A VOW NO ONE WOULD EVER HURT ME EVER AGAIN!!! Tho it has been many years ago, those HORRIFIC memories still haunt me daily, WOUNDS THAT WILL NEVER HEAL, when I hear of the many children in this world that are abused, beaten, and even murdered, some by their own parents, it sets the FIRE RAGING IN MY SOUL!!!!!!!, the blaze is forever burning. For I can certainly understand, from personal experience what it is like.
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IN MEMORY OF VALERIE SMELSER AND ALL THE CHILDREN WHO HAD DIED AND/OR HAVE SUFFERED!!!!
PLEASE COME JOIN US IN THIS CRUSADE, HELP US SAVE THE CHILDREN!!!!!!
Take a look at my other websites and affilations with other child advocates
THE JUSTICE BRIGADEOne of my support pages in reference to "children" and IMPRISONED CHILDREN
My Journeys & BeyondKnightgale's Biker Corner
My Personal Poems
The happiest in my life, is my present hubby, he is my guardian angel, my soul mate, so very good to me, he understands I need space, and time to myself, I get to do my things and he does his. We have been married 43 years(1/4/2009), he knows the hurt I have endured in my past. I will always treasure his love and understanding and hope he will be with me for a very long time.