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Articles Abortion Procedures More Quotes Related Links Quotes "There is tremendous sadness,
loneliness in the cry, A woman's right to choose.' No one wants an
abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an
abortion as an animal, caught in a trap, wants to gnaw off its own
leg." Dolores O'Riordan: Lead Vocalist, The Cranberries: "I am in no position to judge other women, you know. But I mean, why did she get pregnant? It's not good for women to go through the procedure [abortion] and have something living sucked out of their bodies. It belittles women. Even though some women say, 'Oh, I don't mind to have one,' every time a woman has an abortion, it just crushes her self-esteem smaller and smaller and smaller." (Source: You! June/July 1996) Susan B. Anthony Kathy Ireland,
Supermodel
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What you need to know before you "choose"
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Read about people
who survived abortion attempts: |
Just the same, the thought of ending the situation I was trapped it was very appealing. I was 15, from a dysfunctional family, poor, with no education and no job. On top of that, I was going to a Christian high school, was president of the church youth group, and my stepfather was going to school to become a pastor. It wasn't just the problem of not being able to raise a child, it was the problem of pregnancy itself. If I had an abortion right away, no one would have to know. I could go on with my life. My family wouldn't have to know - I knew my mother would kill me. My boyfriend wasn't in any place to have a baby, either. He was a senior at the same high school and not daddy material. If I just went ahead had an abortion, my friends and church wouldn't have to know about my problems. I could go on in my normal life.
But what is normal? What was my life?
Here's the thing I realized. Abortion doesn't make the problem go away. The problem was that I allowed myself to be in a situation where I could get pregnant. I had sex too soon when I wasn't ready. And that was my choice. A person who is ready for sex is a person who is ready to deal with the consequence of an unplanned pregnancy. I realized that having an abortion only treats the symptoms - it doesn't mean you won't end up in the exact same situation again.
Chances are, if you were confident in yourself and confident that you are loved for who you are, you wouldn't have had sex as an unmarried teenager. And abortion does not build confidence. It does not "free women" or fix the problem and it won't make things all better. It frees your boyfriend from taking on the responsibility of the baby he helped create. It is personal, painful, and humiliating. Worse than that, it leaves you alone and isolated in your situation. I didn't want anyone to know, but I was desperately alone at the same time and deep down I knew that I needed help if I wanted to get past the situation. Do those feelings sound familar?
Having an abortion will forever change you. Just ask the women who have been through it. I mean really, look at this logically. Any experience changes you and any surgery or major medical procedure carries risks. However, no other medical procedure purposely snuffs out a life - even if you call it a potential life, the fact of the matter is that given time and opportunity, what you are carrying would be your child. That is a whole lot different than getting an appendix removed.
What I found out and what I think you must realize is that however desperate things seem, abortion is not your only choice. Don't wait until hindsight shows you your other options. Find them now so that you can make a choice you can be at peace with. Chose something you know is right instead of resorting to a knee-jerk reaction. It's just that the bigger picture is so different than it seems when you are alone, scared and unexpectedly pregnant. Time and experience has shown me that and it will show you that, too, whatever you choose now. Every time I see my son I am reminded that he is the life I was carrying. The life I wondered about, prayed about, cried about and even at times despaired about. Now he is 5 years old and my son and I know that I gave him a chance to make his own choices. Abortion takes that away.
The Bottom Line:
I refuse to believe that teenage girls are too stupid or too young to know the truth and get the facts on fetal development, the procedures involved, the risks, and the other options available. We all deserve to know the truth. How can you decide what the best thing is if you don't really know what you are doing or what the consequences are? How can you weigh the options and make a choice you won't regret if you don't feel you have a choice at all?
The bottom line is that
a fetus is a child distinct from his/her mother - a complete and irreplaceable person that should be cherished and protected despite of where he/she temporarily abides (in the womb)
having a child - no matter how unexpectedly or how prematurely - does not ruin your life.
a pregnant teen should be greeted with compassion and the support she needs to make the best choices for herself and for her child - no one should have an abortion because they have no choice.
your unborn child is not your enemy or the problem confronting you right now.
Find out the facts. An abortion provider gets something from you - money. The support groups that are really there to help you are the ones who don't cloud the facts and have nothing to gain from what you choose to do. Hopefully there are people who will help you in your area. Sometimes people find that their biggest champions are people they've known all along. Stand up for what you know is right and don't let anyone force you into a choice you may regret later on.
On The Technical Side:
There are definite but little talked about risks such as Post Abortion Syndrome and medical complications. I believe that PAS is valid not only because of the studies I've read but because of women I've known and talked with and because the fact is having an abortion is snuffing out - at the very least - a potential life. (I believe that from conception we are complete and alive individuals - science tells you that.) That act carries huge long term psychological ramifications and so it should. It's better to realize this instead of going through what some women have gone through - realizing it as the procedure takes place or once they later carried a child to term.
Some prochoice organizations have also changed their stance on PAS and now admit that it does exist in approximately 1% to 5% of women who have had abortions. Prolife organizations, of course, claim the numbers are much, much higher. There is just not enough data to be conclusive about the percentages but there is too much to dismiss the existence of PAS.
"Having aborted three of my children, I am a victim of the lie that the choice camp offers. Thanks to a group called Project Rachel, I am recovering from my feelings of guilt and shame, but I will never stop grieving for my children, and for what might have been." - Vincenza Carter article on Post Abortion Syndrome. If you've been hurt by abortion, there are many people willing to help and support you through this time. It's okay to grieve. Check out SafeHaven, Project Rachel, or this list of resources from Pregnancy Centers Online for starters. There is also a National Memorial For The Unborn to help in the grieving process.
Having difficulty does not mean you're not strong or that there is anything wrong with you. As Vincenza points out in the same article: "A question for those who deny that PAS exists: If a woman cannot feel pain and grief for the death of her child due to an abortion, then why do we assume she feels pain and grief due to a naturally occurring miscarriage, taking place at the same point in the pregnancy? In either case a child is dead, but due to abortion, the mother must face the fact that her child is dead by her own "choice." Women who have lost a baby due to miscarriage have been known to bear a sense of responsibility, questioning their every action as a possible cause of death. How much worse would this self-scrutiny manifest in a woman who did cause the death of her child?"
Abortion is not a method of birth control.
Abortion hurts women.
Abortion affects more than just you.
You are a mother from the moment your child was created - abortion doesn't change that.
If a drunk driver hits a pregnant women and the baby dies, he or she can be convicted of manslaughter. Even if that mother was on her way to an abortion clinic. How can you base someone's worth on only one thing - how other people view them?
If an abortion is attempted and the child survives (and this does happen), doctors are required to try and save him or her. Along these lines, if the fetus is termed viable, the abortionist is required to choose the method of abortion which will most likely result in a live birth. For example, a section of Illinois law:
"(720 ILCS 510/6) Sec. 6. (1) (a) Any physician who intentionally performs an abortion when, in his medical judgment based on the particular facts of the case before him, there is a reasonable likelihood of sustained survival of the fetus outside the womb, with or without artificial support, shall utilize that method of abortion which, of those he knows to be available, is in his medical judgment most likely to preserve the life and health of the fetus."
In fact, they are also required to make anesthetics available to the baby if the baby might feel pain. To my knowledge this is not made available - though surgery performed to save an infant in utero requires some method of anesthesia. Why? Because babies do feel pain.
If I've brought up things that you didn't know or hadn't considered, then believe me, this is the tip of the ice berg. You have a right to look beyond the rhetoric of groups that take away your choice by promoting ignorance. When you make choices based on fleeting emotions you have a great chance of regretting the choice later one when your emotions have changed. Make your choice based on truth.