I am strong and yet so weak.
I lack the will to make myself speak.
Words well, overflowing deep inside of me,
longing desperately to be free.
Still they cannot break through the wall
that a thousand rebuffs built so tall.
Here and there with written words,
my thoughts take flight on wings of birds,
finally escaping my mute lips
through the eagerness of my fingertips.
Can you read them and understand;
reaching out to take my hand.

Broken

I searched for truth
among so many lies,
asked for answers,
but received alibis.
I needed love
along with devotion.
Instead he turned
away from emotion.
I gave up hope,
thrust foolish dreams away,
I hid my soul
from the light of day.
I took too much pain,
no more could I stand,
not the embrace of a love
not the touch of his hand.
The heart of me is dead,
and all I do is sigh.
My emotions lay bare
to wither and die.

Pain

I peer outside with the wonderment of a child.
I do not know what it is I seek.
Inside I feel the need to be wild,
why then do I sit and weep?
My soul feels as if it has dried
up and withered away,
because of all the tears I’ve cried.
I cannot seem to keep them at bay.
My eyes strain, do they decieve?
A light twinkles far to the north.
Is it a fantasy my mind does weave,
or must I let my heart go forth?
The light shimmers, seducing my need,
beckoning me to take a chance.
I feel my heart clench with greed,
awaiting the moment of our dance.

Shadows

hidden deeply in the shadows;
behind the veil of night's embrace;
stands a woman weeping and pale;
her hands trembling over her face.

pain flows from her every movement;
her eyes, flashing pools of despair;
shoulders shaking with wrenching sobs:
and yet there is no one to care.

slowly her hands slip to her sides;
firming her back, she turns away.
walking calmly towards the door,
she glances back as if to stay

she realizes that none will help,
and so she opens up the door;
slips silently into the night;
and to this place she'll come no more.

Go Away

why do you do this to me
endlessly, day after day?
I wish there were a way
to finally make you see.

You are selfish to think
that you are the only one
to whom hurt has been done
while I teeter on the brink.

I just want you to go away.
Leave me to find some peace
When I am alone I can release
the tension I harbor all day.

Emptiness Within

the woman sits
so quietly alone.
watching
waiting
the terrible silence
crushing her spirit.
a single tear slides
down her pale cheek.
lips open to
gasp for breath.
whimpering
weakening
looking without seeing
listening without hearing
her focus all
turned inward
to the empty place
where love should dwell.
finding....nothing.

broken pieces

my favorite necklace
a little figurine
my soaring spirit
why were you so mean?

my grandmother's bowl
a beautiful vase
my self-confidence
the skin of my face.

a lovely old mirror
the lock on my door
the trust I felt
a pin I once wore.

the vows you made
a mother's soul
my father's heart
I no longer feel whole.

Some things can't be mended
Yet, I struggle to repair
the cracks and breaks
that are laid bare.

for Jasmin and BOID...with warmth and affection

My friends, you are a joy to me,
your kindness means so much.
The love you share is beautiful to see.
Your hearts speak through your touch.

Two generous beings
glowing like the sun;
we watch with awestruck eyes,
your souls merge into one.

I wish you two all happiness,
and that your days be grand.
But know that should trouble arise
'tis by your side I'll stand.

It is with love and gratitude
I pen this clumsy prose
'Tis but a poor attempt
to give you sweet repose.

disappeared

Suddenly, there you were
with your smile so bright.
Your words caressed my soul,
made my heart take flight.

We laughed and teased
with a loving touch.
Your tenderness soothed
and replenished much.

Happiness sprung
each time we spoke.
It was too like a dream
from which I awoke.

Something lovely came
when you were near.
Why....oh god why
did you disappear?

exhaustion

How can a person be so tired?
Tired of the mindless strife
of always losing
missing out on life....

Aching for freedom.
worn down from pressures,
loneliness and scraping....
never finding treasures.

I am weary of the battles,
sick of the slaughter
finding naught matters
nor is worth the bother.

watching the moon

sitting on the steps
gazing into the night
at diminutive winking stars...
when slowly
inexorably
the moon breaks free
rising majestically
over the treetops...
ascending
gently
through the night sky
seeming to leave behind
a glowing trail
it's face growing brighter
with each new height
it attains...
until it reaches the zenith
pausing a brief moment in time
glorious
then gradually...
gracefully
beginning it's decline
appearing to sink
more rapidly
than it's rise...
almost greedily
stretching for it's vanishing point
waning sadly...
wearily
as though tired from the journey
the strength of it's brightness
deserting...
in a blink
a fraction of time
it is gone from sight.
I sit in awe...
ruminating there
in the quiet
how like the moon
life is.

the blade

The cut runs deep
separating heart from mind
blinding our vision to beauty
seeking..naught to find.

The blade sears as it slices
leaving behind a trail of pain,
clouding our thoughts.
Left to try and heal...in vain.

We cover ourselves as best we can
with the little bandages we weave.
Lies...that no matter how hard we try
we cannot seem to leave.

Time tells the Tale

Time tells the tale of all our lives.
It leaves a legacy that speaks
of the fervency of our drives
and the multitude of our peaks

Time itself is fleeting
and yet endless in it's flow,
whether I am awaiting our meeting
or standing watching you go.

Time weaves it's silver spell
tugging at the core of our soul;
leading us to the gates of hell
where we no longer feel whole.

a certain beauty

In all things there is a certain beauty
one that surrounds, confounds
Why to we love one thing
and scorn another?
Can't a weed be as lovely
as the sweetest flower?
Think on such, for isn't the
wonderous purple of the thistle
naught but a menacing weed?
Take the time to sit and ponder...
study all life around you.
Not just the dappled beauty
of the dogwood tree...
but look also to the locust
with it's thorny spikes
thrusting out proudly..
almost like a crown.
See not just the brilliance of
the summer sun,
but the wonder of the
dark and threatening clouds.
Look deep
past your first impression
In all things there is a certain beauty.

© She Who Dies