welcome

      cat

      Cat Haiku


      You never feed me.
      Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
      That will show you.
      I need a new toy.
      Tail of black dog keeps good time.
      Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!
      You must scratch me there!
      Yes, above my tail! Behold,
      Elevator butt.
      The rule for today:
      Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
      New rule tomorrow.
      In deep sleep hear sound
      Cat throw up hairball somewhere
      Will find in morning
      Grace personified,
      I leap into the window.
      I meant to do that.
      Blur of motion, then--
      Silence, me, a paper bag.
      What is so funny?
      The mighty hunter
      Returns with gifts of plump birds--
      Your foot just squashed one.
      You're always typing.
      Well, let's see you ignore my
      Sitting on your hands.
      My small cardboard box.
      You cannot see me if I
      Can hide my head.
      Terrible battle.
      I fought for hours. Come and see!
      What's a 'term paper'?
      Small brave carnivores
      Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
      Fear vacuum cleaner.
      Kitty likes plastic.
      Confuses for litter box.
      Don't leave tarp around.
      Want to trim my claws?
      Don't even think about it!
      My cries will wake the dead.
      I want to be close
      To you. Can I fit my head
      Inside your armpit??
      Wanna go outside.
      Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
      Let me back inside!
      Oh no! Big One
      Has been trapped by newspaper!
      Cat to the rescue!
      Humans are so strange.
      Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
      My claws aren't that sharp...
      Cats meow out of angst!
      "Thumbs! If we only had thumbs!
      We could break so much!"
      Litter box not here.
      You must have moved it again.
      I'll poop in the sink.
      The Big Ones snore now.
      Every room is dark and cold.
      Time for "Cup Hockey".
      We're almost equals.
      I purr to show I love you.
      Want to smell my butt?
      ~author unknown"



      running kitty

      CAT/ENGLISH DICTIONARY
      bar

      cat six


      CAT PHRASE/MEANING

      miaow: Feed me.

      meeow: Pet me.

      mrooww:I love you!

      miio-oo-oo: I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge.
      Don't wait up.

      mrow: I feel like making noise.

      rrrow-miawww: I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents
      as far out of the box as was practical.

      miaow miaoaw: Play with me!

      miaowmiaow: Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?


      mioawmiaow: Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see
      what happens when I sharpen my claws on this
      handy piece of furniture.

      raowwwww: I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private
      parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.

      roww-maww-roww: I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms
      full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and
      attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.

      Mmeww: I believe I heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him
      senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in bed warm.

      gakk-ak-ak: My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball.
      Wherever could this have come from?
      I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.

      mow: Snuggling is a good idea.

      moww:Shedding is pretty good, too.

      mowww!:I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm, clean
      laundry until you removed me so unkindly.

      miaow! maiow!: I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body
      through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled
      with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.

      mraakk!!: Oh, small bird! Please come over here.

      sssroww! I believe that I have found a woodchuck. I shall now act terribly brave.

      mmmmmmm: If I sit in the sunshine for another week or so, I think I shall be satisfied.


      All I Need to Know About Life
      I Learned from My Cat
      bar

      *Life is hard then you nap.

      *Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.

      *Variety is the spice of life: One day ignore people, the next day
      annoy them and play with them when they're busy.

      *When in doubt, cop an attitude.

      *Climb your way to the top-that's why the drapes are there.

      *Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.

      *Make your mark in the world - or at least spray in each corner.

      *When you go out into the world, always remember, being placed on
      a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.

      *Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care."


      cat angel


      The Truth About Cats and Dogs
      bar

      What is a Cat?

      --Cats do what they want to.

      --They rarely listen to you.

      --They're totally unpredictable.

      --They whine when they are not happy.

      --When you want to play, they want to be alone.

      --When you want to be alone, they want to play.

      --They expect you to cater to their every whim.

      --They're moody.

      --They leave hair everywhere.

      --They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

      Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.


      What is a Dog?


      --Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable
      piece of furniture in the house.

      --They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but they don't hear
      you when you're in the same room.

      --They can look dumb and loveable at the same time.

      --They growl when they aren't happy.

      --When you want to play, they want to play.

      --When you want to be alone, they want to play.

      --They are great at begging.

      --They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.

      --They leave their toys everywhere.

      --They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to
      give you a kiss.

      Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.


      This page is dedicated to my dear feline friends, Chester and Shadow and in memory of Voodoo.
      We all miss you, "Voo"!!
      ~*~
      The cat art used here is the work of Phyllis Griffiths. Art used with kind permission of artist. Check out her artwork at:
      Amanuensis Art Gallery


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      Since February 17, 1999
      Hope this page made you laugh a little!


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