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WOMANLY TRUISMS

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

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Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

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One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

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Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

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Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

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Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

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Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

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If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

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I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

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Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.

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Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.

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The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.

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Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.

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Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

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Okay, you are not going to believe this, but it was sent by a man
This is the best one yet!!!!!

Men are like.....Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the mess out of you.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Noodles.
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are extremely small.

Men are like.....Plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like.....Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.




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IF A DOG WERE YOUR TEACHER

You would learn stuff like.....
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.


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Here is a cute thing, don't know if it could be considered funny because I can spend the day there.
No hints! he he!!
Click to see if you want to spend the day there. *S*

Cyberlove Greeting



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