"hey man, how's it going? Thursday afternoon, I went and spoke with our Dean. Due to several strange administrative errors and missed paperwork, it seemed like I was not going to get paid the $100+ I earned as a lab monitor last December. Yes. You could say I got a little upset. I'm down to $200. The rent alone is $242. In panic I called my mother, but soon realized that 4 am is not a good time to wake her up at. Especially not when the subject is "I don't have enough money.." It got a bit nasty, and I hung up on her rather abruptly. I don't hang up on people a lot. Since I relocated myself in a country thousands of miles away from the people I talk to on the phone, I hang up even less. It just blows my mind that because I only speak to my family and few friends a few times every month, there is no telling what may happen in between phone calls. Example: my grandmother's horrid car accident. It still makes me cold to think how lucky I was to have called her just four days before it happened, having told her I love and miss her, having had a proper good bye. Today I was told that the chairman of the English departement had been on the Dean's case about my money, and when she realized that I really, really depend on those $100 said that they will figure something out so that I get the money before the end of the month. Also, my brother said my mother snailmailed me some money (I owe money for books on my bank account, so they can't deposit there yet), so it seems things will work out. Watch Jennie's nerves relax ever so slightly. I am also supposedly about to get paid for the work I do now. Watch Jennie smile. Further, we got our lease renewed for another year so that we can keep our current rent. Watch Jennie do grown up things. Not to mention both my advisor and one of my professors have been bugging me about finally getting the University's paper online. Oo. An actual thing to put on a resume. Quite, quite frightening. Aziza met a girl at a bus stop about a week and a half ago, and she has been over if not every, at least every other night so far. Very pleasant girl, and she keeps bringing these nummy things, things like Good Will Hunting, or The Princess Bride and strawberries. Neat :) Black Facts February 15, 1848: "Sarah Roberts was barred from white school in Boston. Her father, Benjamin Roberts, filed the first school integration suit on her behalf." I would like to encourage you to watch more tv. Why? Because it is Black History Month right now, and pretty much every channel on TV is showing all sorts of good documentaries and movies. I have caught something every night this month, if not an entire movie, then at least part of a documentary, and every little piece is only making me want to learn more. It's not something I speak a lot about in here, but, as you may or may not know, I go to North Carolina Central University. NCCU is one of the oldest black universities in the country. Needless to say, every month is black history month here. Every class I take is taught from an African American perspective. 98% of my class mates are African American. Etc Etc Etc. Hell, I'll even get extra points in several classes just for watching things aired on tv relating to African Americans. Yeah. It does feel kind of strange sometimes. I didn't just go to a different culture, I went to a different culture within that culture. And I'm loving it. I have always been into learning about different cultures, different mindsets, different.. anything. There seem to be this need in me to feed more and more information into this brain bank, no matter how pointless it seems. Heh. Perhaps I'm an alien on a mission to figure humans out so we can wipe you out? I doubt it. If I was, I would be a huge disappointment to my leaders, because no matter how much I learn, I still can't figure anything out, much less anybody out. Pathetic. I think if I was sent to Earth for this purpose, whoever created me made a hell of a mistake putting me together anyways, because what use is there for knowing all these things, when I can't make them come out sounding right and bright anyways? I'm somehow impaired. Whenever I am asked something, I have no ability to make it sound strong and correct and intelligent. Instead half of my sentences are interjected with "I think but then again I really don't know you should ask someone else." I think that girl who could at least sound briefly clever if pushed hard into a corner left when I turned 15 and entered 7'th grade. The only girls left inside seem to be the one's that never got to be 5 or 8 or 12 in the way that they should have been, so now they are doing their best to cling to each other as hard as they can and hope that a 7 year old and a 14 year old smashed together will make a great 21 year old. Of course, that cannot happen, so all they can do is take turns reacting and handling things, so the 14 year old is trying her best to prove that she doesn't find boys icky anymore, yet it's the 7 year old who finds the words, words like "icky" and doesn't understand. (I got a stuffed frog I named Mr Spidey Love yesterday as my Valentine's gift from Aziza. Muaaaiuhauhauah. It fit nicely next to the first Valentine's frog I got from her in -96. *sigh* Some traditions are just so nice.) Next door the TV's flashing Blue frames on the wall It's a comedy of errors, you see It's about taking a fall To vanish into oblivion Is easy to do And I try to be but you know me I come back when you want me to Do you miss me Miss Misery Like you say you do? --elliott smith, miss misery