tuesday, february 16, 1999 Two different people logged onto CN last night just to tell me that Tori was on TV (20/20) - now, I already happened to know it, and already knew I wouldn't be able to watch it anyhow, so I didn't panic, but just the fact that two separate people knew I would like to know about it and decided to go out of their way to find me online and tell me was just... sweet. During these past days I have thought a lot about identity, and what distinguishes a "good" fan from a "bad". At eBay there are two sales going on that just make me feel iffy about fandom. One is a person selling the following: Tori Amos E-mail address and mailing address "Tori Amos has a mailing address.. it`s true! She has even responded to me, and it is known to be true, if you call the record company. Also the mailing address is from different places I have seen, I have never written there but I believe it to be true. " First of all, yes, it's an extremely dubious "item". Tori has stated on numerous occasions that she is not a net person, even though I must say, the sellers convincing description to authenticate the "item" nearly fooled me ( ... ). The idea that a famous persons' e-mail, or in real life address would ever be considered a commodity is just mind blowing. The seller is asking a mere "$15.95" for it, which is about a dollar less than the Chinese young man I saw on The Daily Show the other week selling immortality is charging for his invention. So far, no one has put a bid on it, which is slightly re assuring, I suppose. It's fairly clear to a lot of people that I have quite a thing for Tori Amos. Buy her e-mail or home address so I could contact her? Er, no. Pretend to be part of the catering service so I could go through her personal items in her dressing room backstage (true case)? No. Take an absence from college so I could travel around the country and attend every concert of the tour and be so intrusive that even Tori herself eventually suggests that I "spend my energies elsewhere" (another true case)? No. I enjoy Tori's music. I enjoy Tori's voice. I enjoy watching Tori perform, find her beautiful, and think she manage to say a lot of things that make sense to me. I am a fan. Obsessive? Hardly. I may bitch about missing an opportunity to tape a Tori performance on TV. Bring her up in convo's? Frequently. Does that mean that I am fixated on Tori? No. When I state that "I'm going to marry Robert DeNiro!", you can be fairly certain that I have enough grasp of my reality to understand that that will never happen, nor do I seriously wish for it. I am a fan. It's part of my personality. I consider myself a fan of many things... Tori, PJ Harvey, blue cheese dressing, lemon coloured butterflies, $8 shoes, etc. When I like something, I -like- it, and I state it. However, silly talk about this and that person I hear singing a song or see on the TV screen is just that - silly talk. I don't plan to climb a fence wearing only a nightgown and bunny slippers to get into Brad Pitt's bedroom and discuss his personal love life. As much as I think gossip can be fun, I also have no *need* to be involve in a famous persons life. Yeah - I read various entertainment magazines, and yeah, I'll pass on a "Did you know they broke up?", but I realize that ultimately, it is none of my frigfragging business. It's that simple. Would I like to meet Tori sometime? Sure. Has the thought "if I met Tori I think I would say.." ever played around in my head? Yes. Does my life revolve and depend upon if I ever get to meet her irl? No. Daydreaming can be fun when you are stuck on a bus 2,5 hrs every day. But see, then you step off the bus. I heard a rumour that Toni Morrisson might be speaking at a nearby college. Did I get jittery and giddy? OOoh yeah. Did I imagine getting to speak to her afterwards? Uh huh. I even got as far as to what I would say in a short note I would hand to her because I wouldn't want to be bothersome and chit chat her to death if I did get to say "hello". Do I consider handing her a note intrusive and obsessive? Not at all. See, I don't believe there is anything wrong in wanting to thank a person for an impact they had on your life. If she chose to read it - hooray. It'd be nice. Take it as a personal insult if she didn't? No. It'd be her choice. I wouldn't try to find out where she was staying and go there to try and meet her. There's this understanding that you _don't_ override another person to get your thing through. Another thing being sold at eBay: PJ HARVEY Autographed Color 8x10 Photo!!RARE! "PJ Harvey Autographed Color 8x10 Photo! (SEE PHOTO BELOW!!!!) Autographed IN PERSON Oct 31, 1998 at the Philadelphia International Airport. Polly Jean DOES NOT like to sign autographs and usually tries to avoid fans at all costs. At first she turned me down when I asked for her autograph but then I asked again when she was waiting for her bags to arrive and she said yes. I obtained this autograph, I did not buy this autograph "wholesale", there is no middle man. Any questions feel free to e mail me!" Note that the person in question says he is fully aware that PJ Harvey does not like to sign autographs and tries to avoid fans at all costs, and hence turned him down the first time, at which point he _continued_ to follow her and ask her once again. Complete and utter lack of respect, heh. During the half a year or so I've maintained my PJ Harvey site online, I've been in touch with tons of fans, especially when she was touring. I had people offering me someplace to stay at every concert place. I even had two different people offering to give me tickets if I wanted to come and attend the show. Unfortunately, I chose to prioritize other things (rent and food comes to mind), and hence didn't try excessively to make it to either show. Am I bummed I didn't get to see her? Sure. Did it keep me up at night? Hardly. Once I was asked by an online friend who had just won tickets to attend a very exclusive radio taping with PJ if there was something I wanted him to ask her. My mind went blank. Was there anything I wanted to ask PJ Harvey? Not really. It's not that I don't find her a very intriguing performer, and she seems like someone I'd enjoy having some tea and a chat with if it ever came around to it, but something I really felt I needed to ask? No. I composed a short note wishing her well on her tour and the support from her many online fans, and asked him to pass it on. I'm not trying to come off as some noble, calm person who has no desire to meet anybody famous. It's not about that. I've met plenty (well, people famous in -my- world :P), briefly, and I turn into quite a flushed giggling moron everytime, but it was never under unwelcomed circumstances. And that's that. Ranting stop. I still want to go and hunt Dawson's Creek actors in Wilmington, though ;) I think I stand a real chance to stick out among the 13'year olds' screaming for James van der Beek and Joshua Jackson anyways. Mainly, by not beign 13. hehehehhehehehe. But what am I doing typing? I need to catch the bus home and watch Felicity and BUFFY the Vampire Slayer, oh I wonder who the celebrity guest is on The Daily Show tonight, not that it matters, Jon Stewart is cute enough, and hmm, there's always the flipping back and forth between David Lettermand and Jay Leno and their guests, and oo... a bit of Conan O'Brien's never wrong. Hehehe. 8)