My hands are covered in writing. It always comes as a surprise to me when I notice it. See, my hands are my notepads when I'm bored, when I need to remember something, when I hear a word I like. Whenever I go to school I make sure my deep purple velvet purse has at least one pencil, two pen's (preferably black ink), one magic marker and one highlighter in it. You would think they were for taking notes in classes, but apart for the pencil, they're not. They're there for my hands.

Spread out across the back of my hand and along the sides of my fingers letters are sprinkled out. In some instances I can only figure out what it says by finding the letters that go together as they were written by the same pen. The words that trail along the sides of my left hand's fingers are rather smudged by now and rarely make any sense. "i could have", "around the bend", "strawberries." I think it might have been lines from some poem I once read.

Ever since the results came back from my blood test the other week, my mother keeps making me eat strawberries. See, the result showed that I (as fucking usual) lacks a lot of iron and am anemic. Well duh? That's normal for me so I didn't get very shook up about it, but for some reason my mother decided that it was a big deal. She's getting me another doctor's appointment to get proper medication to get my values up, and while waiting for that she.. makes me eat strawberries.

No. There's nothing wrong with strawberries. What does feel wrong is having them practically shoved down your throat because "they have a lot of iron in them!"

If it mattered so much, one wonders why I was brought up on sandwhiches that posed as "dinner". Heh. Nothing like being parented after you've become an adult.

I spoke with my grandmother last night on the phone. It felt really odd. When I called up the old people's home and asked to speak to her, I could hear what they were saying after they put down the phone to go get her.

"Vera, there's a phone call for you!"
"There is... okay..."

The clutching noise as the phone-woman helped granny get out of the chair. The sound of her slippers being dragged slowly across the floor by heavy feet not able to lift completely off the floor to execute a full step. The struggle to sit down in the chair next to the phone.

And without me even thinking about it, I found myself talking to my grandmother with this weird voice I'd never used before - a slowed down, somewhat louder version of my own to make sure she did not miss any words and get confused.

I told her I was going to visit her today. There was a silence, and then she told me that she was worried I wouldn't be able to find her. I told her never to worry about that, we'd always keep track of her.

It must be such a sad feeling to worry that all of a sudden you'd be lost - unable for anyone to find.

I asked her if there was anything from home she wanted me to bring - pictures or perhap a brush or something.

"No... I can't think of anything I care about."

*shudder* Thank ghod they are fixing her over-medication by the end of this week.

I found a post at rec.music.tori-amos today (by a Lydia, I think?) with a long list of things that one should experience in one's life. I decided to chop out the one's I've managed to do already and the one's I would like to do. It's a simple as that.

• Pay your bills.
  Yey, I did this yesterday - with money I had actually earned myself. It felt amazingly good.

• While listening to the radio, rest your hands on the speakers.
  I wonder if "hugging a standing speaker" counts for this one. it made my heart and lungs rattle.

• Make a snow angel.
  Yes! I recommend this to anyone who can :) I haven't been able to the past two winters due to lack of snow and I miss that feeling of tip-toeing to an untouched piece of snow, letting my body fall backwards into it, flapping my arms and legs frenetically, causing snow to get squished into every opening it can find in my clothes, cold, flushed cheeks, the struggle to get back up without ruining the imprint... argh. Some things you are never too old for.

• Build a sand castle.
  Hmm, sand is warm and nice and all, but I always preferred building mud castles on the beach and digging large holes at the edge of the waves so that I could have my own little water-pool.

• Scream.
  Highly recommended, only it brings me to a pet-peeve of mine; there aren't enough places in the world where people are allowed to just... scream. You can't do it in an apartement because the neighbours will get alarmed/annoyed, you can't scream outdoors unless you can find a really remote place. I just don't think we get enough screaming done today. Maybe if I ever get a driver's license I'll play my music real loud and pretend I'm singing along when I'm really just screaming?

• Collect pennies in a mason jar.
  I collect mine in an empty orange juice glass bottle when I'm in America. Unfortunately, it's not just a silly thing for me - I really can't spare much change and I did get 3 months worth exchanged in April or so. I can't believe all those heavy coins only amounted to 3-4 dollars. Huff.

• Climb a mountain. Run a marathon.
  I'm deeply opposed to both. I believe in lazy non-activeness.

• Give blood.
  Highly recommendable! In fact, the only reason I want to get my blood values up is so that I'll be elligable to keep donating blood. Kind of sick if you think about it.

• Go deep sea diving.
  NO. Don't. Have you SEEN the Discovery Channel? Icky icky icky! (patang)

• Get a tattoo (temporary or permanent).
  You knoooow I strongly advocate getting tattoos. I love seeing a beautiful image inside someone's skin.

Lastly: Visit the residents at an elder-care facility.

I'm off to do that just now. I'm getting us cupcakes too.