monday, november 22

i want to be elvis. i want to swirl my hips, i want to sweat down towels and hand out to my masses like holy relics. i want rhinestones and pilot sunglasses and poufy hair. i want to be the king. i want to rock. so be it. why are there so many who don't let themselves want to be things because it's not 'real' or realistic? is it so bad to admitt that 'mcdonalds' manager' kind of sucks as a goal? reality is good for many things, but why is it so hard to let ourselves get lost in the desire to be something that we can't become? it's as if we're not allowed to think big anymore. it's not about "i want to be like the spice girls!" - it's about wanting BE a spice girl, and truly believe that you could, and should. that you CAN. there's the saying "you are what you eat?" (currently, i am famous amos choc'chip cookies). well i say "you are what you think." - i guess i know i will never be elvis. i don't care. i AM elvis. simple. and i accept that. and i feel it. and i'm grounded. and all shook up. now i need cheese. and that concludes today's peppy perky talk. "GOoO SPARTANS!" so. friday night i went and ate mexican with gene. mmmm. salsa. and then we rented a half bad, half interesting brit movie called like it is that i kept drifting in and out of (partially coz i left towards the end to talk on the phone with angela, something that's become a nightly event as of late :) - most noteworthy: the singer from the who was in it playing a sleeezy manager, and that man truly has a frightening cheshire cat grin if i ever saw one! ick. saturday i watched a rented documentary called trekkies about.. star trek fans. felt less like a freak. highly recommended. "I have the Q-virus!!". in the afternoon i went and ate at fuddruckers with angela, and then we went to see sleepy hollow with gene. it was the first time the two of them met, and it went pretty good. it's weird to see two of my spheres meet up. the movie rocked. angela left and me and gene went to.. fuddruckers, where i ate. again. then he dropped me off at home, and i watched a movie called RKO 281 about the stuff surrounding the making of Citizen Kane and waited for gabbi to return from the airport with his girlfriend who just came over from israel to visit. around 9 p.m. gene called: gene: "hi." me: "hey!" gene: "i'm coming over. we're going somewhere." me: "okay. bye." (click) and he did. and eventually we went to some pub we went to the other week, and babbled, and i had a jack(daniels) and coke and loved it. when he dropped me off at the apartement i discovered that gabbi'd locked the door by mistake. i felt like the biggest dork knocking on his window to get back in. renegade drunk teen, that's me, that is. sunday i spent 3 hrs re-reading girlfriend in a coma by douglas coupland, sitting in on a step in the stairs leading up to our apartement, feeding bids. in the evening i watched the usual (felicity, x-files, the practice) and around 11 gene called and we had a long discussion about uh.. i'm not sure. and then gabbi and his girlfriend came home, and i had a long talk with her. she's nice. really, really nice. and she knows who tori is! ;) and off i am, i am, to show her around franklin street and introduce her to starbucks and other knick-knacks. i am, i am. :)

GOD says: "go see sleepy hollow, and try jack'n'coke drinks (jack daniels + coca cola :) - and incorporate tofurkey into your everyday vocabulary. and go see sleepy hollow. it be scary. god likes to be tingly scared."

503