friday, december 10

argh, what is wrong with me? it's only december 10, and i already find myself looking back at the semester (i never look back at a whole year. it's so.. LONG.) and sorting things into various good memory-boxes. incredibly lame, and WAY TOO EARLY. bah. but. just because, i'll summarize and be nostalgic and sentimental and soggy like a big, red, chemical maraschino cherry. i guess it has a lot to do with the impending shift of people in my life - gene is going to new jersey for a month (leaving next wednesday), while jessica is moving here (arriving monday). it's enough to make my head spin. i can't believe gene is leaving. obviously, it is only for a month, but it's not that. it's the fact that he's leeeaving. i sound like a clingy kid about it, but considering that we've had pretty much daily contact since he picked me up at the airport in charlotte back in august, i think i have a right to be whiny and soggy. there's something about habits. it's a habit to sit slouched on the couch at night watching crappy tv and having laugh spasms over nothing, like when i say things wrong. (like when first became fyirst, releasing an endless taunt on my swedish cook heritage.) it's a habit to break down laughing in restaurants over nothing. it's a habit to send small e-mails during the day complaining about things and pretending like there's something to do in the evening but sog around the tv and eat. it's a habit to watch gene dance around the shady lighting of my room to "shadowboxer" like he had DDD cups and was called dallas. it's a habit to get to bitch how much this and that sucks to somebody who'll nod and agree, or at least just listen, and be able to do the same back. it's a habit to argue half an hour over where to go to eat, and to eat the chunky parts right off his plate of caesar salad. i guess gene's a habit. so. withdrawal warranted. bah. still. it's less traumatic than you'd think it'd be for a habitual being like myself. after all, a certain jessica will be plonking into my very real world come monday afternoon - appropriately picked up by gene and given his key to my apartement. era's shift. and people think the new millenium is a big deal.

GOD says: "finally you caught on. bert is indeed one of the dark ones."

512