monday, december 13

she calls me her star student, and she's actually upset that i've performed so badly work-wise that she is forced to give me a bad grade. she therefore asked me if i wouldn't rather have an incomplete and make it up to her. i said "sure" star student. heh. i'm not sure what it is i do that make these teachers give me second chances, and third, and fourth... only to watch me not take them anyways, and then proceed to give me a FIFTH chance. it's so strange to have teachers tell me they don't want to give me a bad grade because they feel i am capable of better, so they'd rather give me an incomplete. (it's happened twice, now.) where is this faith in me coming from? i don't lie to them and blame my failure's on this and that - i tell them up front "i have a procrastination problem. i'm sorry." and i never push the blame on anybody but me, because i'm not delusional. and yet there they are, with their clear disappointment, giving me one more chance. and here i am. 30 minutes away from a final, and i haven't even looked at othello, or the list of definitions. being an asshole. gah. i suck. --- jessica has called me twice on her bus-ride from arizona to here, telling me wild stories of broken beer bottle wielding nuts, lost luggage and bad food.. but she seems to be coping well, and should be plonking down here in about 2 hours for gene to pick up. yes. definitely excited. :) --- the weekend has put me in a good mood, despite 3 more finals to go. i do seem to recall a certain me and gene at a certain applebee's friday night getting goofy tropical drinks with names like "blue hawaii" (that didn't make me pee blue. bah.) and "melon madness". saturday we ended up at a bar that seems to be turning into 'the' bar (our 4'th or 5'th visit so far) where i had a tequila sunrise for the first time ever. beautiful creation that sunrise. i'm not sure how much jack daniels was in gene's jack'n'cokes, but it's suffice to say he acted as my personal jukebox for almost 3 hours. complaining? me? nah. --- i wasn't complaining when i baby-sat garrett alone for the first time saturday morning. he's restoring my faith in children. i almost felt bad for accepting angela's payment afterwards, because in truth, all it was was 2,5 hrs of me watching music videos and toy story whilst playing with blocks and action figures with a giggly boy. he even munched down the lunch i made him with no complaints. awesome. :) --- lastly, i saw the movie the hunger with david bowie and my jaw dropped. that's definitely one hell of a suggestive, beautiful movie. i particularly liked the intro, with bauhaus. not that i didn't watch more crap. in fact, i spent all day yesterday glued to the couch. i watched you've got mail (disturbing: tom hanks book super store forces meg ryan's independently owned bookstore fold, and we're still supposed to root for him to get her at the end??) and i saw bits and pieces of titanic (why did jack sink when everybody else floated? my theory is that as he died, his muscled relaxed like the always do on dead ppl and released a heap of shit that got stuck in his pants and froze, hence dragging him down..) with gene narrating.. not for the faint of heart. --- um. anyways. final. me. i go. bah.

GOD says: "it's NOT MY FAULT if you people can't bloody well stay clear of a friggin' ICEBERG! okay??"

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