WHAT'S THE STRANGEST PLACE YOU've EVER MASTURBATED IN?

[Notes: This week's Question yielded a number of surprising things. First, I'm shocked and amazed at how many people have masturbated while driving a car. This certainly isn't recommended -- I personally don't know how you could control a vehicle while having an orgasm -- and I have to wonder how many accidents have been caused by this risky behavior. Other popular "strange" masturbation locales are: an airplane lavatory; the bathroom at school; in class, perhaps while watching a movie in the back row (baggy pants are a big help); in the woods or the backyard; on the school bus or in some other kind of vehicle; and in church. Many readers mentioned the "thrill" that resulted from the "danger" of "being caught" (there's that word again), and that this heightened the experience.]

The strangest place I ever masturbated was a walk-in cooler at work. It was a slow day and the boss was upstairs in the office, and I had an erection so I whipped it out and masturbated right there in the cooler.
- age 16, Massachusetts

I would have to say in a museum. I had to masturbate really bad, so I went to this weird little bathroom in a deserted part of the basement. It was kind of cool because I was the only one there, and no one suspected a thing! The only problem was there were machines that kept making noises, so I kept thinking a janitor would walk in on me.
- age 14, Illinois

I have masturbated in all kinds of places -- I don't know if I can even name them all. I will name a few though: I work at a gas station, and I masturbated there. I used to mow an old lady's lawn out in the country, and I masturbated onto some of her nice flowers (she didn't pay me enough). At a hospital shower. In my car. And on a farm that's by a highway, cars and all going by while I did it outside.
- age 17, Minnesota

I don't know if it qualifies as "strange" or not, but my ex-girlfriend masturbated me (not to orgasm, though) on dance floors, not once, but TWICE. The first was in an SRO Hard Rock Cafe on New Year's Eve (the first New Year's we spent together). The second was at a dance club. Other than that, I'd have to say it's just been the "standard strange places" (if that's not a contradiction in terms) -- car, movie theater, swimming pool/hot tub.
- age 27, Texas

On the basement floor. Damn, it was hard!
- age 14, New Jersey

[But what about the basement floor?]

Once, when I was 11, I closed the refrigerator door on myself, I pumped hard, and ejaculated right into the veggie bin.
- age 18, California

When I was younger I was forced to go to detention for 2 hours. It was really boring, and I decided to relieve myself on the principal's desk in one of the drawers. Nobody ever found out!
- age 65, Rhode Island

In a horse stall at my uncle's farm. I would get up early to feed the horses, and one morning this stallion mounted a mare and went crazy. I never figured I could get off watching animals having sex, but it was the hottest thing I ever saw. Have you ever seen a horse's penis? It has to be two feet long! I just stood there in an empty stall and watched them while I masturbated. It was cool!
- age 14, Pennsylvania

I was at a Megadeth concert and started masturbating in the mosh pit.
- age 28, Ohio

I masturbated through a knot hole in the fence into a neighbor's yard. It was very exciting with a touch of danger. I wasn't sure if they had a dog, or if anyone was home who would come outside to see me. I want to try that again sometime.
- age 25, California

Once when I was a teenager I was out by myself goofing around after a blizzard. I kind of half-buried myself in a snow bank, took out my penis, and used snow as a lubricant. For some reason, the extreme cold made me really erect, and I had an awesome orgasm. It's not the kind of thing you'd want to do every day, though -- my hands and penis felt pretty damn raw for a while.
- age 24, North Dakota

I attend an all-boys Catholic school. I am an altar boy, and about two months ago, I was bored one Sunday after mass -- so I masturbated in the confessional. All I could think while I was doing it was "HOLY SHIT!"
- age 14, Ohio

In a coffin. Let me explain -- two years ago, I was an instructor at a summer camp. We had different activities every night. One night it was Horror Night; I had to pretend to be a vampire and wait inside a coffin in an old house, while the other instructors went to the school to get the children. I was there by myself, and I started playing with my penis. I got an erection very quickly, so I decided to masturbate before all the guys came. It wasn't easy to clean up the semen I shot onto the velvet!
- age 19, Spain

I wanked my crank in an elevator going down 15 floors once. I had to move fast! I don't know what I was thinking, but I made it. I would have died if the doors had opened.
- age 14, Texas

I know this sounds unbelievable, but it was in a gondola at a ski resort. It was off-season, and I was alone. It took at least 30 minutes to get to the top, so I did it right there.
- age 15, Tennessee

Inside an armored personnel carrier in Germany on combat maneuvers with the U.S. Army.
- age 27, Pennsylvania

My buddy and I had it all worked out. We got on the sky ride at Disneyland; we were both wearing loose shorts with no underwear. When we got up in the air, we each took ourselves out through the leg openings and masturbated together while over the "Magic Kingdom." We both managed to ejaculate quickly before the ride ended (into some Kleenex we brought along for that purpose). What a thrill -- it was the best ride ever!
- age 43, California

In the middle of a road.
- age 17, United Kingdom

One time while deer hunting, I got bored and horny, so I forgot about the hunting and got an erection. So I decided to just masturbate right in my deer stand. It was fun, but I had a scary moment when an owl landed about 6 or 7 feet from me and stared at me.
- age 16, Georgia

In the ocean a couple of weeks ago. It was really late at night; I was taking a walk on the beach by myself, and I noticed nobody else was around. So I stripped off my clothes and jumped into the ocean. Swimming around naked felt great -- especially with the waves coming at me. I then got an erection and started masturbating, which felt even better. I felt really weird afterwards, but I still ran around the empty, dark beach naked.
- age 15, California

In a professor's office. He had let me use his office to do some work for him, and the mood came over me. I still get an excited type of guilty feeling whenever I have to visit his office.
- age 21, Iowa

When I was 13, A friend and I masturbated in the shower at the YMCA. We had finished playing basketball and got into the showers. Our conversation quickly turned to sex, and both of us started getting erections. I asked him if he masturbated, and he said he did. The locker room was empty, so we just started doing it! I was so terrified that we'd get caught, I ejaculated faster than ever -- before or since. We never did get caught, but it provided an interesting memory neither of us will ever forget!
- age 16, Ohio

I've been masturbating at least twice a day since I was 12 years old. The strangest place I ever masturbated in was in a bunker during the Korean War. For about 30 hours, gunfire had been exchanged between my platoon and the enemy platoon. My best friend and I decided to just go ahead and have some fun. We took down our pants and masturbated each other. Boy, was that a rush.
- age 70, Texas

In the engine room of a crab processor boat while it was in dry-dock.
- age 49, Washington

I once masturbated under my propped-up '64 Dodge. I was working on it and got turned on. I even used some of the grease for lube.
- age 21, Indiana

I found that masturbating in the local car wash is amazing. I don't know -- it has something to do with all the water rushing around you. The sheer power of the water is a real turn-on.
- age 19, Illinois

The strangest place was when I was taking a nature hike with my air cadet squad in minus-35-degrees Celsius in the middle of the bush. I ran into the bushes to go to the can (sure!) and masturbated. I hadn't done it in 4 days, so it took me about 30 seconds. It was a great feeling -- but I sure frosted my sack!
- age 21, Canada

One time I slipped into the girl's bathroom (!) on a lark and went to town there. It was so erotic! A few girls came and went, never suspecting that a guy was in the stall masturbating. I even peeked over the partition at one. God, her expression would have been priceless had she seen me.
- age 16, Arizona

Probably the kitchen. Mom and my brother were going to be gone for a few hours, so I decided to lounge around the house naked. Well, I should have known that sooner or later, I would be masturbating. I ended up doing it on the cold kitchen floor. I almost got caught, though -- as soon as I closed the door to the bathroom, my mom and brother got home. Good thing I had my clothes in there!
- age 15, Kentucky

My friend and I were watching "The Basketball Diaries" and saw Leonardo DiCaprio masturbating on the roof, and we thought, What the hell -- and let me tell you, it is sooooo great.
- age 16, Washington

Two summers ago, I was visiting my friend, who lived right in the middle of a city. We were outside on his trampoline around 11:30 pm. We started talking about masturbating, and I suggested that we try it on the trampoline while bouncing around. Without going into too many details, I suggest masturbating while bouncing around on a trampoline! My friend and I discovered it is *the* best place to do it.
- age 17, Wisconsin

I was helping to setup a new supermarket, and I was there to "guard" the store and basically, do nothing. So, one night there were just two of us in a 60,000-square-foot empty store, and I began a little program of "christening" each of the offices and each of the 3 bathrooms, as well as the walk-in refrigerated boxes for the dairy, etc. I managed to masturbate up to 4 times a night for the 4 nights we were there. I never let on to what I was doing to the other guy -- but he had to wonder where I always disappeared to for many minutes at a time and why I always came back "smiling and smelling pretty"!
- age 28, California

It would have to be Wal-Mart. One day my entire family was shopping, and I was so horny I just couldn't stand it. So I went into the men's dressing room and acted like I was trying on clothes. I dropped my pants around my ankles and went to work.
- age 20, Indiana

I would have to say a bathroom stall at a local mall. I was in there one day and just decided to masturbate right there. Man, was it awesome. I almost got caught by another guy -- he was like, "What's going on over there?" I said, "I'm tapping my foot to the beat of this song I have in my head." And he said, "Yeah, right," and I said, "What?!" and laughed. After I was done, I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and went into the arcade.
- age 16, Ohio

I was about 15 and really bored on a trip back from Spokane on a Greyhound bus. I decided to whip it out and start masturbating, because no-one was looking. I ejaculated in my hand and then walked back to the bathroom to wash up. There's nothing like traveling Greyhound!
- age 23, Washington

I've masturbated in just about any and every place possible -- my office, in different companies; men's rooms; in my car while driving on I-95 though Connecticut; all the rooms of my apartment; on the dance floor of a nightclub; the theater of my high school (but not the gym locker room); while traveling on a train through various countries; under the Pont Neuf bridge in Paris ... shall I go on?
- age 35, Maryland

I am a girl. One time I masturbated in my grandparents' trailer. I was lying on the fold-out couch, and I humped the corner of a Stephen King book I was reading. My little sister was right in the next room.
- age 18, Texas

I had a friend in high school with whom I used to play masturbation games, and we both masturbated in the back of a couple of different vehicles, always trying to outdo the other without getting caught. However, the strangest place would have to be under the bridge over the freeway one night, just down the dirt road from my house. It was cool to see all the cars going by, knowing full well they didn't have a clue what kind of fun I was having!
- age 21, Michigan

In the White House. I was on the tour and decided to make a pit stop to make my own kind of policy.
- age 19, Colorado

I was on a camping trip, and we were staying near a creek. I followed the creek upstream for a while and then climbed out onto a rock in the middle. I masturbated while the water was crashing and flowing around me -- a veritable roar. When I ejaculated, it was into the water, so there was no cleanup. It was very intense.
- age 20, Alabama

In the bathroom of Joe Louis arena -- not just any game, but the fourth game of the 1997 Stanley Cup finals.
- age 17, Michigan

In line at Disneyworld with my hands in my pockets.
- age 14, Wisconsin

I was once employed at an arcade. We had a photo-booth, and one day after closing I thought it would be kind of cool to masturbate in the photo-booth while it was taking my picture. I timed it so it would take my picture while I was ejaculating.
- age 38, Ohio

In the middle of the desert. I was extremely loud, and I shot sperm all over a cactus.
- age 17, Arizona

The Toronto Planetarium. I was sitting at the back and just got the urge to wank during one of the shows. No one was nearby, so I pulled it out and pumped away. It was the most amazing experience and left me feeling as though I was floating amongst the stars. Sometimes I just wish someone else was there to share the experience.
- age 14, United Kingdom

When I was 21, I lived and worked at an amusement park in Ohio. Well, I became quite a professional at taking care of business while riding a couple of the roller-coasters there. Masturbating and riding roller-coasters were, and still are, two of my favorite things to do for fun -- so I guess it was only fitting that I put them together. I would put on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, and I'd make sure I had a seat alone (although I was once able to do it with an unsuspecting rider assigned to the seat next to me). If you're going to try this, I suggest you ride the coaster a number of times ahead of time to get the timing of the ride down. Also, you have to figure that you don't have much time from the time you get on a roller-coaster to the time you get off (no pun intended). Make use of the time you spend climbing the first hill; that's when I would start stroking it by putting my right hand into the "pocket" that had been conveniently torn out. I would hold onto the safety bar with my left hand, and I'd wrap my fist around my penis and slide it up and down, usually with a little bit of lotion. Up to then, I had always masturbated without lube, but lube made the whole experience happen quicker. I would try to work myself up and ejaculate as the coaster went down the first hill, which was usually the biggest -- but sometimes I would try to make myself last all the way until the train was just about to pull back into the station. I never got caught, but I did tell one of my friends, who tried it on his own and then did it with me sitting next to him. I live in Florida now, and there aren't any good coasters near me that work like the one I first played on. You need a good "old fashioned" roller-coaster, not the ones that fasten you in from above (they don't allow you to move your hands/arms to your pockets). What did I do with the semen? I would either ejaculate into my hand and then be very careful exiting the ride, or I would squirt it onto the bottom of a T-shirt tucked into my sweats.
- age 32, Florida


Courtesy of JackinWorld

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